Crisis of Infinite Monkeys

Well, At Least I Know the Brakes Work . . .

2011-07-28T14:47:00.001-05:00

While the recent increase in productivity at the Peterbilt plant next to my office is doubtless good for the economy, it's not so great for the traffic around the area.

As I was heading to lunch today, I noticed a semi truck that had started to exit the plant, only to stop barely out of the gate so that the driver could do . . . something. Not quite sure what. But whatever it was required him to get out of the cab of the truck. As I was getting close to the entrance, he was climbing back into the cab, closing the door, staring the engine -- and pulling right out into the road without ever bothering to glance my way. It was at this point that my car's brakes got quite a work-out, and I skidded to a stop a couple of feet away from the side of his cab.

I was, of course, a bit perturbed. I mean, yes, I have come to expect that most cars and trucks exiting Peterbilt are in a constant state of denial that anything exists down the road past their entrance, and so am usually pretty cautious as I drive past if i see someone at the gate. But, silly me, I assumed that because this man was actually standing outside of his truck as I was driving up he might have noticed me.

Guess I know better now.

At some point during my skid, the driver had realized I was there and had stopped the truck; as he glanced through his window at the air turning blue around me, he hastily began to gesture at me, trying to convey . . . something. I'm afraid I'm not well versed on Careless Truck Driver Sign Language. Anyway, he backed up enough that I could drive past, and as I pulled onto the main road, something dawned on me: this was the third semi in as many days to leave me with an incredibly negative impression -- although this was the first to move from " taking up both lanes roadhogging" to "tire-skidding danger" -- and not a single one of them had a "How's My Driving?" sticker on their back.

Terms of Not-So-Much-Endearment

2011-07-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Recently I've realized that I have a standard set of epithets I use for my best friends when they provoke me* into insulting them; and while a few of the epithets might get spread around, I tend to group specific terms with specific people. For example, Flunky is, of course, "jackass"; Cap'n Shack-Fu generally elicits a "punk," occasionally upgraded to "Punky Brewster"; The Lovable PigPen is usually "ginger bastage," although I'll sometimes throw a "soulless" in there if he's been particularly PigPen-ish; and TopGun is lucky enough to get three levels: "jerk", followed by "jerk-face", and, last but not least, the compound epithet reflected in the following text message exchange** from last week which is the actual impetus for this post:

Me: Can now go home and goof off. . .or maybe work out. . .nah, definitely goof off.
Him: Aren't your workouts generally the same as goofing off? BURN!
Me: Dear jerk-faced doo-doo head: Why are you such a jerk-faced doo-doo head? Sincerely, a non-jerk-faced, non-doo-doo dead.
Him: Dear non-jerk-faced doo-doo head . . . as I am a jerk-faced doo-doo head . . . it is difficult for me to examine the reasons why I am this way. Can a tiger tell us why they have stripes . . .or the great white tell us why they like to eat surfers . . .no. they cannot . . . and so, neither can I. It is just my nature . . .sincerely, jerk-faced doo-doo head
Me: . . .I'll say this . . . you sure are an eloquent jerk-faced doo-doo head.

As for Li'l Random, he doesn't get a special nickname for those provoking moments; instead, I just call him "Li'l Brother" like always, except I load my voice with gallons of disappointment -- surprisingly effective.

*Yes, it's all their fault, I'm totally innocent, I swear.
**For the record, all ellipses in the quoted text are actual ellipses from our messages, and not signs of me editing things out.

The Groomsman Chronicles, TopGun Ed. Epilogue: Fragmented Follow-up

2010-11-15T11:48:00.001-06:00

As usually happens with this blog post series, there were a handful of events which I find worth mentioning, but which I either forgot about when doing the initial posts, or which didn't really fit into the other posts' narrative structure easily. Hence, the following bullets of additional material.

The soundtrack for the bulk of our journey was XM Radio's "90s on 9" channel, which brought up all sorts of nostalgic memories. "Man, I remember this song from Freshman year of college," I would say; "I remember this song from Freshman year of jr. high," Shack-Fu would reply; "I think I must have been in elementary when this came out," his whipper-snapper fiance would chime in; "Young punks," old man me would grumble.
Every once in a while some song on the radio would engage Shack and I enough that we would start to sing along loudly, occasionally making up hand gestures to go along with the lyrics; most every time this would happen, I would catch a glimpse of his fiance in the back seat, trying to nonchalantly film us with her cell phone. We later informed TopGun that our vehicle was The Party Truck.
While the groomsman and bridesmaids were waiting to make our entrance during the ceremony, conversation led to Special Agent Shack-Fu revealing that he was packing heat underneath his tux, a revelation that caused on bridesmaid to have a minor freak out that one of the groomsman had a concealed weapon, and the Maid of Honor to complain that it wasn't fair, if Shack-Fu got to go in strapped, why couldn't she?
When we had eaten lunch at Cracker Barrel on the way up to CO, Shack-Fu and his honey had split a country fried steak. At one point The Future Mrs. Shack-Fu was so intent on trying to cut into the steak that she didn't realize that she was pushing the plate towards the edge . . . and even after she had dumped the plate into Shack's lap she kept on trying to cut into it for a few more seconds. Let's just blame that on sleep deprivation, shall we?
On the day of the wedding, we went to lunch at a local place called "Once Upon a Sandwich," thinking that it was going to be a little sandwich shop. But when we walked in, it appeared to be more of a diner setting. When we asked the lady behind the counter if we should just find a place to sit her reply was a very sarcastic, "Yeah; this is a restaurant, after all." To which I wanted to reply "Gee, thanks for that extremely helpful and not at all condescending response; I'm sure that won't be affecting your tip at all."
During the rehearsal dinner, Li'l Champ prompted us to ask his young cousin how old she was. When we did, she very casually flashed us three fingers; I was amused at her lackadaisical motion, almost a "Yeah, I'm three years old, no big whoop" sort of thing, but then her mom informed us of the real gag -- she was actually two years old, but had at one point been told that she could have gum until she was three, and thus has been lying about her age ever since in an effort to beat the system. The fact that she is also remarkably adorable -- almost Flunky Spawn levels of adorable -- means that she is going to be a danger to herself and others when she gets older.
Although my joking motto to TopGun for the last few months any time he asked me for a favor was "A Best Man's work is never done!" there were a couple of traditional Best Man duties I did not fulfill. The first was throwing of the bachelor party, due to TopGun specifically telling me he didn't want one. I told him that was too bad, because I would have thrown him the most chaste, virginal, sober Bachelor Party of all time -- just hour after hour of the groomsman watching cartoons and drinking chocolate milk. His response? "Well, I do like chocolate milk . . ." The other Best Man duty I fell short on was the decorating of the newlyweds' vehicle; this one I have no excuse for other than that it honestly did not even cross my mind until the reception was drawing to a close and I got asked about it by both the groom's sister and the bride's brother.
I had forgotten just how much I loathed the rental shoes that usually accompany tuxedos; by the end of the wedding day I was pretty sure my feet were about to fall off. Am extremely grateful that neither Li'l Random nor Shack-Fu will be requiring tuxes for their groomsman.
I made the decision not to pester TopGun for a few days after the wedding, which was difficult -- annoying TopGun is one of my favorite hobbies -- but on Wednesday I felt compelled to send the following text message: "We interrupt our newlywed-friendly radio silence to bring you this news flash: when it's quiet, I find myself still practicing that damn speech. I'm cursed! We now return you to your previously scheduled marital bliss, already in progress." He, of course, laughed at my misery.
I broke my non-pestering rule again this past weekend when I sent TopGun a text about being torn between trash-talking him about that evening's OSU/Texas game and keeping quiet because I didn't want to jinx my team's chances against his. He replied that he hadn't been watching any football so far that day. My response: "No football? Two weeks in a row? It's true, marriage *does* change you"
Just got a text from Shack-Fu -- turns out the indicator light was just the result of a faulty wire and not a major issue. So, good that it was as easy fix; not so good that they had to waste extra travel time for something that probably could have waited until they were back in Tulsa. Still, better safe than sorry, especially where The Power of the Jinx is involved.

The Groomsman Chronicles, TopGun Ed., pt.4: Of Journeys and Jinxes

2010-11-15T00:27:00.000-06:00

Have to say, 5 AM came way too early the morning after the wedding, but since both Cap'n Shack-Fu and his honey had to be back at work in Tulsa the next day, they were gung-ho to get going so that they didn't get home too terribly late. I, on the other hand, had been able to take Monday off as well, so I was planning on staying at Shack's parents' place again and heading back to Denton the next morning.

As is usually the case on these extended road trips, time appeared to be going much slower on the way back then it did on the way up due to all of us being exhausted. Really the most excitement we had on our way to Pampa was early in our drive when a deer bounded across the road right in front of us; we were all pretty awake for a while after that. But other than that, a pretty uneventful drive.

As we drew closer to Pampa, I started to question my earlier decision to split the drive up over two days. Yes, I knew I'd be struggling to stay awake due to exhaustion, and that I'd be driving at night, which I tend to avoid if possible due to less than stellar night vision, but the allure of being able to sleep in my own bed and just sleep in as much as possible the next day was overpowering. Once I'd made the decision, I asked Shack-Fu for advice on what route to take home since my GPS had taken me on a route that added an hour onto my drive time on the way up there; turns out my GPS adds an insane amount of time onto its travel estimates when your route takes you through towns so that what is in reality a 4 hour drive, it projects as a 10 hour drive. In order to navigate by the quicker route, I had to trick the GPS by programming it in stages -- first to Clarendon, then to Decatur, and finally to Denton.

As we were about two miles away from Shack-Fu's parents' place, my best bud announced "After this weekend, no more driving anywhere for two months!" No sooner had he made this pronouncement then we reached his parents' house, quickly transferred our stuff from his mom's Suburban into our respective vehicles, and went our separate ways. After I'd been on the road for about an hour I got a call from Shack-Fu wanting to see if I had found my way on the new route all right or if I had run into any problems. When I assured him everything was going fine, he said he was glad to hear it because his journey hadn't been as smooth: no sooner had they pulled out of his parents' driveway then some nice indicator lights lit up. Long story short, they had to drop the car off at a mechanic, load their stuff back into the Suburban, drive it back to Tulsa, and then spend part of their upcoming weekend driving back to Pampa to pick the car up.

"You do realize you jinxed yourself when you said no more driving earlier, right?" I asked, kind, helpful soul that I am; he readily agreed that he should know better by this point in his life.

I spent the bulk of my 4 1/2 hour drive to Denton on the phone with my parents, trusting in their input to help me stay awake as the miles piled on and on. Finally, a little before 8:30 I crossed into the city limits of Denton. At that moment, I got an incoming call from Shack-Fu, who was checking up on me again. I told him I was less than five miles from home, and asked how their trip was going.

"We've still got about another hour to go" he answered, "but so far it's going really good" This response, of course, prompted his fiance to yell at him for potentially jinxing them yet again. "Um, oh, dang, I mean, um, it's awful, totally awful, my drive back from Quantico wasn't this bad and it was twice as long and I was by myself. Just horrible."

I assured him that I was positive that last little bit improvised griping had surely staved off his jinxing abilities.

After that I bid him good luck on the rest of his journey, and within a few minutes I was at home, ready to vegetate, unwind, and collapse, content in the knowledge that the upcoming iterations of The Groomsman Chronicles will not require day long car trips . . . although the next one will require some air-fare.

The Groomsman Chronicles, TopGun Ed., pt.3: The Big Day

2010-11-14T21:23:00.000-06:00

After a couple of days of never-ending car rides and very little sleep, I was finally able to catch up on my rest a bit, despite the six slices of pizza I'd had at the rehearsal dinner the night before conspiring against me in the form of a 4 AM heartburn attack. Following our complimentary continental breakfast, Cap'n Shack-Fu and his honey decided to do a quick run out to nearby Mesa Verde to do some touristy stuff before heading to the church that afternoon, but I declined to join them because (a) I hadn't really brought appropriate clothing for trail walking (b) I figured the couple could use a little alone time with each other that didn't revolve around being cooped up in a car, and (c) I hadn't practiced or worked on my speech at all the previous day and I wanted to get it finalized. During the few hours I was alone, I made some pretty significant edits and re-writes to tighten it up to right at 6 minutes running time.* By the time the others returned from their touristy activities I had settled on my final draft and tried to put it out of my mind until time for the reception.

After a quick bite to eat, we got ready and headed to the church for the series of pre-wedding photos. Although we were a few minutes past the time we had been told to get there, we still wound up beating both the bride and groom. When TopGun got there, he showed us that there had been a mix-up with Li'l Champ's tux -- apparently, they got the measurements of his shirt and jacket reveresed, so the shirtsleeves were so long they had to be shoved up into the jacket, which itself had to be left unbuttoned just so Li'l Champ could breathe.

Quite the dashing pair, no?

We also discovered that TopGun's uncle did not have a silk pocket square like the rest of us, so we scrapped that from our ensemble, which actually worked out well for me, since Shack-Fu came up with the idea of using my pocket square as a makeshift retrieval device for the wedding rings.

Yes, that's right: they entrusted me with the rings. No, I don't know what they were smoking either.**

Anyway, once we had our wardrobes straightened out, it was picture time, both serious

Father of the Bride called the groomsman "Three Horseman of the Apocalypse" -- I am obviously not Famine.

and not so serious

TopGun: Ladies Man Extraordinaire

Move over, Charlie's Angels, there's a new team in town

"Hey, did I mention I'm down to 152 lbs now? I did? Just wanted to make sure you all knew that."

And then the bride was sent upstairs to wait out of sight, where I'm sure she was nervously fretting about the upcoming nuptials, pacing back and forth, chewing on her nails . . .

Then again, maybe not . . .

And before you knew it, it was time for the ceremony itself. Despite a couple of technical glitches at the beginning (sounds system problems during slide show, door almost swinging shut on bride), once the bride and her father started walking down the aisle

everything went wonderfully, from the vows

to the lighting of the Unity candle

So, uh, you come here often?

to the big kiss

to the introduction of the newly minted Mr. and Mrs. TopGun

the important stuff went off without a hitch.***

After that it was time for all the post-wedding pics with the bride and groom together

Gotta love Li'l Champ's jaunty GQ solution to his shrunken jacket

followed by the signing of the marriage license

She wasn't smiling as much a few seconds later when TopGun pretended to rip it up . . .

which the Maid of Honor and I witnessed (and heartily endorsed)

After which it was reception time. After everyone had had a chance to eat I delivered the infamous toast, the cake was cut, and then the DJ started up the music for the happy couple's first dance.

TopGun just looks overjoyed to be dancing in front of a crowd . . .

. . .but at least he has something pretty to look at to take his mind off it.

After that there was the father/daughter dance, followed by a few dollar dances, where people could dance with either the bride or groom by paying them a dollar. They tried to get Li'l Champ out to dance with the bride and his grandma, but he balked, using the "I'm shy!" defense. As I went onto the dance floor myself, I paused to inform him that I was going to make it my duty to make sure he danced at least once before the night was through. A few minutes later, I saw him out on the dance floor

When he came back to the table afterward, he complained to his dad "Todd made me dance with my new cousin!" like it was the most painful experience of his young life . . . after that he was on the dance floor non-stop until time for him to leave.

I didn't do much dancing on the whole, mostly because the bulk of the songs played were country, and mostly because the couple of fast songs I did dance to almost killed me -- stupid altitude!**** But before I collapsed from a coughing fit -- CONGA LINE!

If Shack-Fu's at a reception, there will be a Conga Line. Bank on it.

Eventually, it was time for the newlyweds to head off to their honeymoon suite, so they were sent through a gauntlet of well-wishers wielding air horns

Is it just me, or is Shack-Fu's expression just a tad manic here?

After sending the happy couple on their way with only a smidgen of hearing loss, we helped clean up and then headed back to the hotel to try to catch a few hours of sleep before getting up waaaaaaaaay too early to head back home the next morning -- after I got my constant body-wracking coughs under control that is.

Stupid altitude.

*Well, 6 minutes while practicing -- no telling how long the actual speech lasted, as I was probably going a mile a minute then.
**When the bride handed her engagement ring over, she admonished me "Don't lose it!" then quickly said "Just kidding." My reply? "Oh, so I can lose it then? Phew, that's a relief!" I then got a preview of her death-glare.
***Except, y'know, technically they did get "hitch"ed . .
****Yes, it was all the altitude's fault, and had nothing to do with the fact I haven't worked out in months . . . yeah, that's the ticket . . .

The Groomsman Chronicles, TopGun Ed., pt.2: On the Road to Rehearsal

2010-11-13T22:17:00.000-06:00

The day before TopGun's wedding, Cap'n Shack-Fu, his fiance, and I got up around 5:30 AM so we could get on the road and make it to CO in time to check into our hotel and get freshened up before the rehearsal that evening. None of us had slept all that well, but we plodded zed-word-like to Shack's mom's Suburban, loaded up our stuff, and hit the road with Shack behind the wheel, me riding shotgun, and Future Mrs. Shack-Fu stretched out in the back seat trying to catch up on sleep -- which turned out to be a bit of a futile effort as Shack and I started coming to life and visiting, getting progressively louder as the miles wore on. I noticed her occasionally rising up to give us groggy withering glances, but I did not notice the time that a sudden burst of noise from the front prompted her to attempt to slap Shack-Fu upside the head to quiet him down -- "attempt"' being the operative word, as her sleepy strike missed him so completely that we weren't even aware of her foiled attack until she told on herself later.

Not too far into the drive I got a text from TopGun wanting to see if we had hit the road yet. My response; "why, is there somewhere we're supposed to be today?" He replied "Only if you value your life." After I gave him our estimate of when we would be hitting town that afternoon, he realized that we weren't too far ahead of him on the road, so we made plans to meet up at Clines Corners and caravan from there with TopGun leading the way, since he also informed us that the route we had planned to take was plagued with enough road construction to add a couple of hours onto our drive.

Before heading on to CO, however, we had to make a stop in Albuquerque* so TopGun could pick up his sister and niece at the airport, after which we stopped for lunch at a local Cracker Barrel which seemed like it might put us behind schedule, but Shack-Fu and I decided if we wound up getting to the rehearsal late we would show solidarity , and blame it all on TopGun. "We were just going to grab a quick bite to eat while driving, but noooooooo, TopGun had to have his Double Meat Breakfast!" Secure in the knowledge that we now had a convenient scapegoat, we soon hit the road yet again.

Several hours later we arrived in CO; since TopGun still had to go pick up Li'l Champ for the rehearsal, Shack, his honey, and I were able to go check into the hotel, get freshened up, and still beat TopGun to the church. Thankfully, I had met the bride-to-be a couple of times before so there was at least one familiar face who could introduce us around. But once TopGun showed up with The Coolest Kid in the World in tow, we were able to get started.

Before starting the rehearsal in earnest, they played a slide show for us since none of the wedding party would be in the sanctuary when it played before the wedding the next day. The slide show consisted first of pictures of TopGun, then of his fiance, and then of the both of them together. Combined with the little speech TopGun gave before starting it about how thankful they were to have all of us there it was actually pretty touching, and so I responded to getting a little emotional as you might expect: by mocking TopGun as an exhibitionist for having multiple pictures of himself running around shirtless at various ages.

Hey, you express emotions your way and I'll express them in mine, okay?

For the most part the actual rehearsal was uneventful, although there were a few interesting moments; the most interesting for me involved my interactions with Li'l Champ. To start off, Li'l Champ's role in the ceremony wasn't to be ring bearer, or anything as pedestrian as that. No, while I may have been Best Man, Li'l Champ was The Best Best Man, and therefore stood up front next to his dad while the rest of the wedding party entered.

and then moved up to stand right in front of me after the bride's father gave her away.

As you might suspect after my last post, having Li'l Champ and I in such close proximity to each other for extended periods of time while decisions well above our pay grade were being discussed in depth was a recipe for, if not disaster, than at least some minor physical altercations. To be honest, I'm not sure which of us started picking on the other first; all I am sure of is that it was quickly apparent that in the many months since I had last seen him, Li'l Champ had upgraded me from "grappling partner" to "striking partner."

Translation: I was the recipient of multiple punches to the gut from Li'l Champ's tiny little fists. Once the hands were restrained, then I was treated to mini-head butts to the gut and some mule kicks to the shins. Surprisingly, our little struggles didn't appear to draw any attention from most of the wedding party who were too busy discussing the order of the vows or how best to light the Unity candle. Afterwards, when I told TopGun his son was picking on me, his response was to tell Li'l Champ, "Now, no beating up Todd during the wedding tomorrow," to which Li'l Champ replied "I know," in that resigned tone which comes so naturally to the little ones.

Not too long after that as we were heading towards the rehearsal dinner, Li'l Champ got over his initial shyness towards Shack-Fu and decided to initiate him into the gut-punching club, only to fall victim to Shack's patented tickle attack which had Li'l Champ flat on his back, giggling hysterically and begging his dad for help. TopGun, being a good dad, declined, using it as a teaching moment. The lesson? "Actions have consequences."

One other rehearsal tidbit: when the first groomsman, TopGun's uncle, practiced walking in, he and high-fived TopGun and Li'l Champ. Shack-Fu in turn did one of those finger-wiggling things, and I decided to go with the tried and true fist-bump

Everyone enjoyed the impromptu greetings so much that they requested we keep them for the actual wedding.

For the rehearsal dinner we just had some pizza from a local pizza place. TopGun and I both had six slices apiece, but the difference is that for him that was the first pizza he'd had in 6 months -- for me it was just another Friday night.

After the rehearsal everyone was invited over to the bride's place to hang out, but unfortunately the part of me that wanted to hang out and get to know the bride and her family more was shouted down by the part of me that was suffering from next to no sleep and elevation changes -- a part that manifested as a blinding headache by the time we reached the hotel**. So I made my apologies to TopGun, handed over his and Li'l Champ's tuxedos which I'd carted from Texas, and headed back to the hotel to collapse so I could be well rested for the big day.

*I kept asking TopGun if we could stop by a nice pawn shop while we were there so I could sell off these two really nice rings some dope had entrusted me with, but for some reason he wasn't too helpful. . .
**Although to be honest, that might have had something to do with the fact that I indulged in one last pestering of Li'l Champ before we left, and then sprinted away as he chased, I fact I regretted instatly -- think I was still winded the next day.

And in This Corner . . . Li'l Champ!

2010-11-12T21:59:00.001-06:00

As I was preparing to write the next installment of "The Groomsman Chronicles," it dawned on me that to put certain things into context, I should probably talk a bit about one of the key players who hasn't gotten much coverage here at CoIM: TopGun's son Li'l Champ, a.k.a. The Coolest Kid in the World*.

I met Li'l Champ last year when he came down to stay with his dad for about a month over his summer break. He was really shy when TopGun first introduced him to me -- wouldn't say hi or shake my hand or anything. Think that shyness last a whole, oh, hour, hour and a half tops before we were fast friends. And, as with most of my friends, the majority of our interactions consisted of picking on one another**.

The best thing about Li'l Champ's visit was the floor show I got to watch daily as the then-6-year-old wrestler and budding MMA enthusiast would challenge his dad to a match; and then, after TopGun would get tired of rolling around, Li'l Champ would then saunter up to me and whisper "Hey, Todd . . . wanna fight?" And then, when both his dad and I were through letting him beat up on us for the evening, he would grab one of the pillows off of TopGun's bed and practice his ground-and-pound on it.

But the best part of it wasn't just watching this scrappy little kid picking fights with guys 3 or 4 times his size; no, the best part was that every single match was a gigantic production narrated constantly by the pint-sized ringmaster.

"Okay, now, dad, you and I have to go out of the room and do our entrances . . . and now, here he is, ladies and gentleman, the one the only . . .GSP! [mimics crowd noise and runs around the room before coming to stand before me]. Okay, Todd, you're my coach, give me a pep talk . . . DAD! It's your turn to come in! No, Dad, you have to run around the ring! Okay, Todd, now you're the ref, you have to say 'Let's fight!' . . . say it!"

The running monologue would die down slightly while he was actually wrestling around with us, but not a lot, as he would often interject instructions to make our actions fit the narrative in his head. "Okay, then dad, you hit me in the jaw -- not really, stop it! -- and it rocks me, and I'm wobbly, and you try to take me down -- try to take me down, dad! But I recover, and I knock you down instead . . . dad, go down!" Needless to say, TopGun and I both indulged in quite a bit of contrary behavior to get Li'l Champ's goat; good times, good times.

Now, when Li'l Champ and I would be wrestling, it would be straight up grappling -- kid's got an impressive guillotine choke and arm bar, by the way -- but when it was him and his dad then Li'l Champ would pull out all the stops and fists and legs would go a-flying. And although TopGun did have me stand still and let Li'l Champ demonstrate his pretty impressive leg kicks on me, during that first month he stayed at our place the little brawler never moved into striking territory with me.

That would eventually change.

All in all, I really enjoyed having Li'l Champ stay with us, and looked forward to his return trip for Thanksgiving and Spring Break -- although during the former he was directly responsible for me spending good money to go see Twilight: New Moon at the theater, and for that, I may never forgive him. Still, I have to say I was looking forward to getting to see the little punk again at the wedding -- little did I know that his tiny little fists now had my name written all of them . . . but that's a story for the next installment of The Groomsman Chronicles.

*For anyone out there saying "Wait, why isn't my kid The Coolest Kid in the World," well, all I can say is the day your kid gets a haircut to look like his hero Chuck Liddell and then manages to slap an arm bar on me, then we can talk about revising the ratings.
** I have to say, being an only child, I often take great delight in playing the role of "ornery uncle" to my friends' kids; I bet that info makes all of my own ornery uncles proud.

The Groomsman Chronicles, TopGun Ed., pt.1: A Best Man's Work is Never Done

2010-11-12T00:04:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned in my last post, last weekend I drove up to CO with Cap'n Shack-Fu and his fiance to be a part of TopGun's wedding. But in order for me to meet up with Shack-Fu without either of us having to take an enormous detour to get to our respective home-towns, we instead planned on taking a minor detour to meet up at his parents' house in Pampa, TX, which was kinda-sorta on the way. My plan was to sleep in a little bit on Thursday, drive up to Pampa before it got too late, and wait for Shack and his honey to get there after he got off work and she got out of class. Then we'd all catch a few Zs before getting up bright and early to start out on the approximately 10 hour drive up to the wedding site.

My plan received a minor hitch when I got a message from TopGun the previous evening asking if I could give him a ride to the airport because the one he'd set up had fallen through. I accused him of making that up because he was obviously too lazy to make the drive up to Denton on Wednesday night to drop off his and Li'l Champ's tuxedos with me as previously planned; as usual, he side-stepped the accusation without officially denying it. He's a wily one, that TopGun.

But despite my suspicions of chicanery, I responded as I had to pretty much every request TopGun had made of me for the past six months, whether it was wedding related or not: "Of course I will, Champ. Boy, a Best Man's work is never done, is it?"

So, instead of sleeping in as previously planned, I was up bright and early to make sure I'd gotten everything packed and ready to go, and headed over to Frisco to pick TopGun up and drive him over to Love Field, where he'd catch a plane to meet his mom, and would then ride up to CO with her. After dropping him off, I headed back towards Denton, eventually sending the following text to TopGun after I passed by my apartment complex at precisely noon: "On the road since 9AM and just now leaving Denton to head to Pampa. The things I do for you, Champ" He replied with "Lol . . . sorry man. Thanks for the ride . . ." I told him no need to apologize, I was happy to do it, just knew that if I didn't bitch about it a little he'd start to think something was wrong with me. His response: "I was getting worried . . ." Despite my needling him about the extra drive time, I was glad to get that last bit of one-on-one time before all of the wedding craziness began.

On the whole my drive to Pampa was uneventful; the only thing worth mentioning is that I made the mistake of trusting in my GPS to point me to the fastest route instead of doing any research myself beforehand, the end result of which was my drive taking an hour longer than it should have -- a fact I wouldn't confirm for myself until my drive home a few days later. Thankfully, even with the extra hour's drive-time, I managed to make it to Pampa and find Shack-fu's parents' house with no problem around 5:30 -- which just left another 5-6 hours before Shack-fu was scheduled to arrive. I spent most of that time visiting with Shack's mom -- his dad's out of the country for work right now -- and playing with their chihuahuas, Molly and Buster.

When Shack-fu and The Future Mrs. Shack-Fu got there we visited briefly, but quickly headed off to get some sleep before our all-too-early departure time. I was being put up in the office with a nice air mattress, and had just collapsed onto it when I heard something unexpected: a music-box like rendition of "Greensleeves." Thinking it was coming from the hallway outside, I ignored it -- big mistake. Because it turned out to not only be coming from inside my room, it was music provided by a Christmas clock which was set to play the song every hour on the hour. Needless to say, my sleep that evening was not exactly restful; the song would wake me up hourly, but I was always too groggy to get up and find the source of the music in the dark before it stopped playing.

Not the worst start I've ever had to a road trip, but not exactly the best either.

So ends day one of my trek to TopGun's wedding. Come back soon to find out about the long drive on day two; some serious synchronicity on the road; and how I ended up in handcuffs before the day was over.

Toasting TopGun

2010-11-11T21:59:00.002-06:00

This past weekend I hopped in a car with Cap'n Shack-Fu and his fiance and headed up to Colorado for my former roomie TopGun's wedding. But while I plan on writing a bit about the overall trip, today I want to talk about one of my responsibilities as Best Man, one that consumed my thoughts for several weeks prior to the ceremony: the Best Man Speech/Toast.

As I mentioned before, I accused TopGun of only asking me to be Best Man because he knew I'd obsess over writing the speech for months and months and he's sadistic like that. But although I did start thinking about the speech when he asked me back in June, it wasn't really until the beginning of October that I began to devote most every waking moment I was alone to writing, re-writing, practicing, then re-writing some more. If I was in the car driving somewhere I wasn't listening to music or podcasts; I was running through the speech. My Netflix and DVRed shows started to pile up because I couldn't focus on anything other than trying to get the danged thing down. I even gave up on the idea of doing NaNoWriMo because I knew I wouldn't be able to write anything non-speech-related until after it was all said and done.

Quite a lot of effort for a little over a thousand words that clocked in at 6 minutes, huh?

I had several people question my obsessive tinkering, telling me to "not over-think it"; to "just wing it"; to "just get up there and speak from the heart." I, in turn, had to ask them "Are you sure you've met me?" Because, let's face it, historically speaking, winging it and just speaking from the heart have never turned out well for me -- I stammer and stumble searching for the right words and never can quite manage to articulate what it is I really want to say. As for not over-thinking things, well, I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible for me.
Plus, TopGun kept telling me "I know it's going to be great!" with that devilish, sadistic grin of his, and danged if I was going to half-ass the blasted thing.

Seriously, though, my thinking was that if TopGun was going to honor me by asking me to fill such an important role on his special day, then the least I could do is put my best efforts into honoring him as well.

Writing the speech presented quite a few challenges; in a lot of ways I can look back on the experience as an interesting writing exercise, but in the midst of it all I could see was a sea of challenges to overcome.

CHALLENGE #1: Outside of one heartfelt, impromptu toast I'd seen Shack-Fu give at a friend's wedding, my experience with hearing such toasts was largely restricted to works of fiction. So, as any good librarian would, I proceeded to do some research into the topic; however, being a fairly lazy librarian, my research was comprised mostly of searching Google and YouTube. One thing I discovered very quickly from viewing multiple YouTube clips is that there a lot of people out there who stumbled upon the exact same off-color Best Man speech online and decided to run with it; after hearing the exact same bad jokes told in a variety of American and British accents, I despaired of finding any examples to give me inspiration. I was eventually able to track down a small handful of original and personal toasts, but in the end they didn't really help me much with addressing my challenges.

CHALLENGE #2: TopGun and I had only known each other for around a year and a half, so I didn't have nearly the depth of experiences to pull from that I would have if I was writing a speech for, say, any of the HyperForce 3000 clan, all of whom I've known for over 4 years now and with whom I've shared a great deal of mini-adventures rife with anecdote potential. But although TopGun and I became very close friends while rooming together, very few of our interactions are really anecdote-worthy* and those that are require more set-up than is practical for a brief speech. Heck, the best TopGun anecdote I have -- which happens to be the basis of his nickname -- actually takes place before he and I are even introduced to each other.

CHALLENGE #3: Finding the right balance in the "TopGun and me" anecdotes, making sure that they were more "TopGun" and less "Me". After all, as funny as I may find my "If at any time today you've wondered 'What the heck was TopGun on when he asked this dork to be his best man?' the answer is 'cough syrup with codeine'" gag, the truth is that although it's a joke ostensibly built on TopGun's behavior, it's more of a self-deprecating jab at myself than a representation of who he is. I wound up jettisoning most of my initial draft as I found that I was often talking more about myself than I was about my pal; granted, it was all in terms of my reactions to TopGun's behavior, but it came across more egocentric than I felt comfortable with, especially in front of a crowd I barely knew. Which brings me to . . .

CHALLENGE #4: A lack of familiarity with the majority of my audience, and vice versa. A lot of stuff that I might have included if I were speaking to a more familiar audience had to be removed as the set-up and exposition necessary were too time consuming. Plus, I found it difficult to craft a speech effectively when I had no insight into my audience's taste, sense of humor, history, etc. The whole "sense of humor" thing being the big stumbling block -- sure, I was confident that TopGun would appreciate my jokes, but while the speech was in his honor, I still had to worry about keeping the natives from getting restless. Speaking of jokes . . .

CHALLENGE #5: Finding the right balance and tone of humor. If Pop Culture and YouTubing taught me anything, it's that these Toasts often turn into Roasts, and while my close friendship with TopGun may have been built primarily on a shared passion for being smartasses, his wedding reception wasn't the appropriate place to indulge in our tradition of constantly ripping on one another. Which is not to say that I didn't have a few jokes at his expense -- pretty sure he would have been disappointed if I hadn't -- but on the whole, I tried to keep the jabs to a minimum. This was incredibly difficult to do, as every time I excised one bit of TopGun mockery, another bit would rise up to take its place.

And last but not least . . .

CHALLENGE #6: Editing. As I said, this experience was almost like an extended writing exercise, with the biggest challenge being the intense amount of editing I performed over the months. Even when I settled on including an anecdote or comedic bit, I would work and rework that section until I had found the most economical use of words possible to get the point across without losing any of the weight of the concept. I think I can honestly say that this was the most thoroughly edited piece of work I've ever released into the public. I wouldn't go so far as to say that there's no extraneous verbiage in the piece -- I am still me, after all -- but I worked hard at condensing stories and ideas as much as possible.

Of course, a discussion of my writing process would be incomplete without a mention of the part that brought the most joy: constantly pestering TopGun with text messages like "Finally got the speech under an hour and a half; amazing what a difference taking out every other cuss word makes!" or "Think I'm going to remove the interpretive dance section . . . wait, that's crazy talk, it's the cornerstone of the whole piece!" Yes, I would randomly pepper him with messages calculated to insure that he was as tortured by my speech-writing process as I was.

His response? "I don't know what you're complaining about; it shouldn't be that hard to come up with awesome stuff to say about me." I assured him that I had a whole section devoted to how I was sure he was a robot sent back from the future for the express purpose of making me constantly aware of my own inadequacies.**

In the days leading up to the wedding, I frequently joked about how I'd be working on the speech right up until the last minute, and that wasn't too far from the truth. I put the finishing touches on it about an hour before I had to be at the church for pre-wedding photos; and, while I was happy with the final result, I have to admit that if I had another day to work on it, I probably would have wound up changing it even more***.

So, how did the speech turn out? Well, I started off talking about what an honor it was to be Best Man; segued into my First Impression of TopGun**** anecdote; followed it up with a list of things I respect, admire, envy, and treasure about my good pal; reassured everyone that I wasn't saying he was perfect and gave a couple of examples of his sadistic sense of humor*****; and ended with a word to the bride about how gaga in love with her he was, followed by a cheesy "May your love grow exponentially stronger every second of every day" toast. I think I only got choked up once, but I have to admit the actual delivery of the speech was a bit of a blur; after it was over I was certain that I had left a part of it out, since it had sped by******.

As for how the speech was received . . . well, TopGun's uncle complained I didn't make fun of TopGun enough, and TopGun's son, Li'l Champ, at first looked bored out of his gourd

Li'l Champ's bored and Shack-fu's perplexed -- got 'em right where I want 'em!

and later looked like he was contemplating if his dad's admonition to stop punching me in the gut for the duration of the wedding******* was still in effect or not

"One good jab in the solar plexus oughta shut this windbag up . . ."

but on the whole it seemed to pretty well received. People laughed at most of my jokes

They're laughing with me, not at me, I swear!

and I had several of the family tell me that I had captured TopGun perfectly. Plus, both the bride and groom said they liked it, and that's the most important thing. My goal was to honor TopGun and let him know not only how much respect I have for him, but also how much his friendship has meant to me; anything beyond that was just icing on the cake.

*Hard to spin a good yarn around "So, this one time TopGun and I had this really amusing conversation via text messaging"
**I was, of course, kidding about that -- I had removed the whole robot thing long before I mentioned it to him.
***And this is part of why I've never gotten anything published.
****I believe the phrases "Total Showoff" and "Incredibly intimidated to have Captain America himself move in" were used
*****When I told him I'd gotten fitted for my tux, his immediate response was "Great. Are they going to have enough fabric?"
****** For those wondering, yes, I did the speech sans written copy or note cards -- if I've retained anything from my Competitive Speech days, it's a pathological avoidance of speech-making aids.
*******More on the gut-punching later, I promise

Great Minds, Yadda Yadda Yadda

2010-10-21T11:30:00.001-05:00

Last night as I started watching The Ultimate Fighter: GSP vs Koscheck I sent a text to PigPen and TopGun saying "Well, it's time to see how much Koscheck is going to tick me off this week," knowing that both of my pals share in my Koscheck-loathing. A few minutes later TopGun responded with a text commenting on how much Koscheck was already getting on his nerves. We then proceeded to text a running commentary back and forth during the episode, ripping on Koscheck and his team for the cockiness, self-delusion, and bad sportsmanship while expressing our concern over the first fight of the night -- after all, the inclusion of two fights in an episode usually means the first one is a short one, and, as I texted to Clay, I was a bit afraid that the shortness of the fight might be because Koscheck's fighter managed to knock out GSP's.

No sooner had I sent that text than the fight started and, seconds later, ended in the greatest way possible: GSP's 6th pick, derided by everyone for only having one move, took out Koscheck's number one pick with --you guessed it -- his one move. I immediately started to laugh hysterically and grabbed my phone to text my joy to TopGun. However, as soon as I picked it up I knew that I couldn't convey my thoughts effectively in text-format, so I decided to just call him. Unfortunately, the call went straight to voicemail, so I waited patiently for the beep so I could record a message that was just my maniacal laughter. But before the leave-a-message-beep sounded, there was another beep -- the call-waiting-beep. Sure enough, it was TopGun calling in, so I hastily switched over to take his call and unleashed my crazy laughter at him, as he responded with cries of "That was awesome!"

He then confirmed what I had suspected: the reason my call went to voicemail was because he, like me, felt that the moment had been too spectacular to leave to texting, and had been calling me at the same moment I was calling him.

This is an example of why the most oft-repeated phrase in the house during our time rooming together was "Get out of my head!"

Up in Smoke

2010-10-18T11:06:00.000-05:00

The summer of 1995 was filled with some big changes in my life: I turned 20, finally got my drivers license, got my first car, and officially moved to Stillwater full-time. However, the biggest change that summer came about several weeks after my move when I got a call letting me know that my parents house -- the only home I had ever really known -- had burned down.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt in the fire -- neither of my parents were home when it happened, and luckily they had let the cat out before they left. After confirming that no life was lost, the next thing my parents assured me in that call was "Don't worry: your comic books survived." To be honest, the condition of my comic book collection hadn't even crossed me mind until they brought it up, and it caught me off-guard. It would catch me even more off-guard over the next few weeks when every single family member I would talk to would bring up the survival of my comic books almost immediately.

Of course, when I finally got a chance to go see the charred husk of my childhood home, their emphasis made more sense, as my bedroom's location on the opposite end of the house from the living room where the fire started meant that it was the least damaged, although all that meant was that my room suffered mostly heat and smoke damage rather than fire and water damage. It was an odd experience sifting through the debris, attempting to find anything salvageable. I could see the spot where all of my longboxes filled with comics had been sitting, and was amazed to see that on one side of that spot there was the melted remains of my plastic pencil sharpener, and on the other side, the melted remains of my record player. The fact that the cardboard boxes filled with comic books wrapped in plastic bags had emerged from the ordeal with little more than some smoke stains to the boxes was unbelievable. I was able to recover a few other smoke damaged books and papers, many of which are still boxed up in my apartment. However a great number of these items, including my high school yearbooks, were placed in storage at my Grandma Ann's house along with all of the stuff my parents had already recovered before I got there.

Over the years since then, I've often told the story of the fire, and invariably someone will make a comment about how relieved I must have been not to have lost all those comics because of how much they were worth, to which I would reply, "Actually, the only books I had that might have been worth something had been put away for safekeeping in my parents' room, so they didn't make it." A nice bit of irony there, don't you think?

So, what's brought this incident to my mind? Well, let's fastforward 15 years -- following my Grandma Ann's passing earlier this year, my family was able to sell her house fairly quickly, with the end result that my parents' current house is now overflowing with stuff they had to remove to make the sale. Friday night I got a call from my dad who had been sorting through the stuff and found something he thought might be of interest to me.

"Was going through the stuff we brought over from mom's," he tells me, "and came across some of your comics."

"Really?" I replied, momentarily stumped at what it could have been -- the only thing I could think of off the top of my head was my long-lost run of original Offical Handbook of the Marvel Universe, which had disappeared at Papaw and Grandma Ann's farmhouse when I was still in Junior High, and that possibility was, to say the least unlikely.

"Yes. It says it's a 'bagged, collector's edition complete with trading card' of '--"

"X-force #1." I finished for him, momentarily shocked.

"That's right. And there's five of them!"

"Yes, one for each of the different cards," I commented. He started to tell me that there were a few other books with them, but I didn't really need him to tell me the other titles, as I could picture them in my head fine: the first Excalibur Special Edition that introduced my favorite X-team, and the first couple of issues of The 'Nam which dad had purchased himself.

Yes, after all these years, it turns out that the books I had put away for safekeeping had survived the blaze after all -- they had just gotten swept up in my parents' original salvage run and lost among everything else, thus making my long-standing ironic story ending unusable.

"But," you might be thinking, "shouldn't you be happy that the valuable books survived?"

Well, my Book Monkeys, for those of you unacquainted with the vagaries of the comic book explosion of the early 90s, and the subsequent implosion, let me sum it up this way: those five "collector issues" I had purchased were emblematic of the speculator's mindset which drove the comic book industry for several years, in which comic book companies churned out countless variant issues which were snatched up by countless comic book fans wanting to be in on the ground floor of the next big thing, with nobody thinking through the fact that if everyone and their dog owns a copy of X-Force #1, then it's never going to be worth anything because, well, everyone already owns a copy.

Long story short, a quick view on eBay shows bagged copies of X-Force #1 going for as low as $0.99 cents -- and getting no bids.

So, in the long run, the value of the books did go up in smoke after all -- just not the way I had always thought.

Totally Worth It

2010-09-29T10:56:00.000-05:00

I spent this past Saturday hanging out at PigPen's house, watching whatever random stuff would catch our attention on TV: old reruns (Star Trek: TNG, South Park, Two and Half Men), some UFC fights, lots of college football, and an assortment of movies ranging from the execrable Old Dogs to the mildly entertaining Planet 51 to the odd-ball Sci-Fi cult film Dune.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Dune -- yes, it's a mess, but it's a gloriously entertaining mess. One scene that's burned into my memory is this one:

Not just because Wrath teh Berzerker used to mimic it all the time in college -- although he would change "For he is the Kwisatz Haderach!" to "For he is the Knickknack Paddywhack!" -- but because little Alia there is one of the creepiest characters in cinematic history. And as PigPen and I watched the last part of the movie, I struggled to hide an evil little smirk as I planned the opening salvo in the following exchange:

ME: Man, that sure is one creepy little girl
PIGPEN: Yeah, pretty creepy.
ME: Y'know, I used to wonder how in the world they could have ever found someone that creepy . . . but then I found out she was played by a young Alicia Witt. Once I knew she was really a ginger, it all made sense.
PIGPEN: [nods his ginger head slowly then punches me in the leg]
ME: It was worth it.
PIGPEN: Figured you'd say that. [punches me again] Still worth it? [and again] How about now? [and again]

If you think this lead directly to PigPen and I beating the crap out of each other like the good ol' days of Benjiman Street, well, you would be sadly mistaken. No, the beating the crap out of each other didn't happen until several hours later as PigPen decided to demonstrate the advice he was yelling at the UFC fighters on me.

Catching Up With the Cast: PigPen and Cap'n Peanut

2010-09-16T23:04:00.000-05:00

Continuing the catching up trend, we now move on to the inseparable duo, Cap'n Peanut and The Lovable PigPen. You may remember that PigPen and Peanut had gotten an apartment together in Lewisville not too long before I started renting a room at Shack-Fu's place. After their initial lease was up, however, Peanut moved back to Era, and PigPen stayed with some other friends near Plano for a few months while looking for a new place. The downside of this for me was that this move both of them further away from Denton -- in opposite directions -- making it difficult to find times for us to hang out.

A few months back, PigPen's search bore fruit, and he moved back to Lewsiville, this time as a home-owner. It's a pretty nice place, although the preponderance of hardwood floors makes me less inclined to engage in roughhousing -- which is probably better for my general health, true, but since approximately 95% of my friendship with PigPen has been based on physical violence, it's a little disappointing. At least we still have verbal abuse to fall back on.

As for Cap'n Peanut, well, here's where here's where the news starts to get a bit bigger: in a little over a month, Peanut will be joining the Navy. His desired area of specilization? EOD -- which stands for Explosive Ordinance Disposal. Yup: Peanut wants to be on the Navy version of the bomb squad. And here I had been thinking Peanut was one of my saner friends . . .

On the one hand, I'm really proud of Peanut for his decision to join the military and his acceptance into EOD school -- but on the other, I hate the thought of another of my closest friends moving off, especially when it involves such a dangerous career choice. But the gripping hand is that Peanut is excited about the new direction and looking forward to the challenge and moving on to a new phase in his life, and as much as I'll miss having him around, I'm glad he's found something like that.

Catching Up With the Cast: TopGun and Cap'n Shack-Fu

2010-09-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

Here's the first of several posts to get everyone get caught up on what's been going on in the many, many months since I went on "hiatus." But first: a recap!

When last we left off, Cap'n Shack-Fu had graduated from Quantico and been stationed in Tulsa; I was renting a room in his house in Denton; and his pal TopGun moved to the area for work and became my new roommate, whereupon he and I bonded over our shared smartassery. And now, on with the post.

This past March TopGun informed me that he was going to start looking for his own place closer to his job, ostensibly because he was tired of the commute; within a couple of days he had found an apartment just a few miles from his office and made plans to move mid-May. I was pretty bummed -- not only because he and I had become really good friends over the year we were rooming together, but also because the vacant room meant that I was going to have to start searching for a new roommate to help pay the rent -- a process I was not looking forward to.

Plus, he was taking his nifty SelectTech dumbbells with him, the jerk.

When moving day came, however, TopGun managed to distract me from pining for those wonderful click-weight dumbbells briefly with a bit of news: a few weeks earlier he had bought an engagement ring, and was planning on popping the question to his long-distance girlfriend in Colorado when he went up to visit her over Memorial Day weekend. The proposal was successful, and he cam back an engaged man. He also came back with a bad case of bronchitis which was severe enough for him to get some pretty hefty cough medicine with codeine -- a fact I mention solely because a few days later he asked me to be Best Man at his wedding and I'm still pretty sure the codeine played a big part in his decision making process.*

Of course, as honored as I was to be chosen as TopGun's Best Man, it still didn't change the fact that his move out was forcing me to search for a new roommate. Although it turned out I needn't have worried about the tortures of interviewing potential roomies as I received not a single reply to any of my ads. By the time June rolled around and no potential roommates had surfaced, Cap'n Shack-Fu decided to put the house on the market and I started looking for a new place to live. Due largely to a decision making process that can best be described as "Better the Devil You Know . . ." I decided to return to the apartment complex I had been living in back before I moved in with Biz-Z and Maverick. However this time I upgraded to a two-bedroom due to the amount of crap I've accumulated over the last several years.

When I moved Shack-Fu and his girlfriend came down from Tulsa to help out, as well as to grab some stuff of his that was still at the house. They weren't able to fit everything into the truck they'd borrowed, so they knew they were going to have to make another trip when the house sold -- which wasn't looking promising for a while, as over the course of three months there had only been 3 or 4 people come by to look at the place. But eventually a potential buyer was found, an offer was placed, and everything lined up for them to close on the house**. Of course, this necessitated Shack-Fu making one last trip to retrieve the last of his stuff from the garage. Unfortunately, when he went to rent a trailer to help haul his stuff, he discovered that none of the big name rental place would rent out a trailer to someone driving an Explorer. After some frantic searching, he finally found a solution . . .


They called it Rusty

Yes, Shack-fu found a place that rented horse trailers, so he and his girlfriend made the trek down to Denton hauling a rickety trailer they dubbed Rusty. After I got done dying laughing at the sight of B.A.R.T. pulling Rusty down the street, I helped them empty out the last of his stuff, locked the place up, and bid goodbye to the house on Wicker Way.

*I also accused him of picking me solely because he knew I would obsess over the Best Man speech for months and months, so the request was really a subtle form of mental torture. He never really denied it . . .
**Today, as a matter of fact

Reinventing the Blog Phase Three: Back at the Mothership

2010-09-10T21:35:00.000-05:00

The third step in my new blogging setup is the refocusing of the mothership of CoIM onto my day-to-day life and random thoughts that don't fit into Categorically Thinking or The Locquacious Librarian and the Reviews of DOOM. With luck, I'll actually be able to get out of the apartment and do enough stuff to keep the posts coming a little more frequently. I plan on using the next few posts to get everyone caught up on what's been going on with myself and some of the major cast members: who's moved, who's gotten engaged, who's joining the military, who's had a baby . . . y'know, minor stuff like that.

I almost started this post off saying that this was the final step in my new blogging set-up, and it is -- for now. However, as I get back into the swing of writing, I've considered starting another space to post some fiction; Bubblegum Tate has been toying with serialized fiction and was challenging me to do so as well. Not sure if I'm quite up to that just yet, but I really would like to put some stories down in print a little more often than once a year during NaNoWriMo. So, stay tuned for more on that if/when the urge strikes.

But for now, three blogs and I'm out.

Reinventing the Blog Phase Two: The Loquacious Librarian and the Reviews of DOOM

2010-09-09T22:07:00.000-05:00

Let me start off by saying this: naming things is hard, y'all!

Seriously, if my new review-centered blog is still named The Loquacious Librarian and the Reviews of DOOM within a few months, I will be amazed. But, I've already delayed rolling it out longer than I wanted because I've been struggling with the naming, so I finally bit the bullet and went with my most recent bit of "inspiration."

But I digress . . .

As you may have gathered, I have decided to go ahead and do a separate blog devoted solely to my reviews of literature, cinema, theater, etc. Which means no more Movie Mondays or TV Tuesdays here at CoIM. A moment of silence please.
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Okay, now that that's over, head on over to The Loquacious Librarian and the Reviews of DOOM to find out a bit more about changes to my rambling review structure.

Reinventing the Blog Phase One: Categorically Thinking

2010-09-07T16:43:00.000-05:00

My first step in the new multi-blogging format is the creation of a new blog tentatively titled Categorically Thinking. The idea for this blog was inspired largely by my friend Rebel Monkey who for the past several months has been posting a "Question of the Day" on Facebook, first as her status and then later on creating a Facebook group to move the QotD into the discussion boards. On days when her questions would veer into pop culture territory, I would generally find myself compiling long lists of possible answers, often with explanatory text; I'm pretty sure the times she specified "You can only pick ONE movie/book/song/etc." were aimed mostly at me.

This list-making facet of my personality is not exactly news to me -- not to long ago I went pretty crazy with the Living Social "Pick Your 5"application on Facebook, constructing pretty specific lists -- Top 5 Time Travel Drama, Top 5 Time Travel Comedies, Top 5 Time Travel Movies That Made Me Want To Strangle the Writer/Director, etc. -- but often feeling stymied by the inability to give any context to my lists in terms of criteria and limits.

And thus Categorically Thinking was born.

I was originally going to do Categorically Thinking as a Tumblr blog. Why Tumblr? Because I've seen a lot of folks move to it as their micro-blogging provider and I was curious to try it out and see what was what with it. But I quickly discovered that 'what was what' was that Tumblr is not comment-friendly for people without Tumblr accounts. And since I'm pretty sure few if any of my regular readers has a Tumblr account, that would be problematic, especially since I want to make this as interactive a process as possible. To that end, I will be asking for suggestions for topics -- Bubblegum Tate has already provided me with a few comic-book related suggestions, so feel free to chime in as well.

Reinventing the Blog: An Introduction

2010-09-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

Greetings, my blog monkeys; long time, no see.

Due to a combination of the start of the new school year, the start of the new TV season, partaking in Rebel Monkey's Question of the Day on Facebook, and the fact that I am living sans roommate for the foreseeable future*, I have found myself once again bitten by the blogging bug. However, I've also been struck by the need to change things up a bit.

So, partly inspired by some other bloggers I follow, I'll be shaking things up a bit by branching out to a multi-blog format. CoIM will still be the place to find all of my real-world adventures** but most of my pop culture-y stuff will start to live elsewhere. This way, people like Cap'n Shack-Fu who don't give a flying flip about what TV shows I watch but still want to read about my neurotic life have a place to go without having to wade through my Top 10 [Insert Random Genre] Movies lists or TV/Movie/Book reviews -- and vice versa.

The next question you might be asking is "how multi is this multi-blog format going to be?" Well, that's a work in progress; still trying to decide just how specialized I want to be in the pop culture stuff. My initial thought was to split it up into two -- one focusing on reviews of what I'm currently watching/reading, and another that is more general thoughts on different genres, creators/actors, tropes, etc. -- but now I'm wondering if that's necessary.

Ugh, haven't even started and already second-guessing myself. The more things change . . .

Anyway, within the next day or two we shall have the introduction of the first phase in my own personal blog reinvention.

*More on that soon
**Too strong a word, perhaps?

And Then Came Mourning

2010-04-13T08:19:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday morning my phone started ringing at around 9:30 AM. My first thought was not "who in the world would be calling me this early on a Saturday?" as it would have been most any other time. No, instead my thought was this: "Grandma Ann must have passed away." I answered the phone and found that my prediction was true, and that my last surviving grandparent had passed away sometime around 5AM. My parents gave me the details, and I visited with them for a little bit before they had to go because someone was at the door. Once I hung up I immediately sent a text to several friends, and then posted the news on my Facebook status, and then went back to watching whatever it was I had been watching before the call came in. By that afternoon I had received dozens of condolences from friends, family, and co-workers, chatted briefly with a cousin about plans for services, and watched several more hours of movies and TV.

I had not, however, yet shed a single tear.

This, as those who know me well can attest, was a bit unusual. After all, I'm the sort of person who tears up at the drop of a hat; tears of joy, tears of rage, tears of despair -- if the emotions are powerful, they escape from my bleary, reddened eyes, and there's nothing I can do to stop them. At best, I can delay them; when I got word of my Grandma Kidwell's passing several years ago while I was at work, I almost managed to get to the front door without losing control. But then my shock-induced clumsiness caused me to accidentally rip a box of markers from the wall next to the whiteboard where I was signing myself out, and all pretense of self-control went crashing with them.

Still, while the lack of overwhelming emotion was odd, I was able to rationalize it. After all, when my mother first called me to say that Grandma Ann had started to go downhill and the doctors said she probably wouldn't last a week and that I should probably head home immediately if I wanted to say goodbye, I had a breakdown so overwhelming that I was glad TopGun wasn't at home to witness it. Then I got a call from dad several hours later saying that Grandma had bounced back a little bit and wasn't in quite the danger zone they had originally thought, but it would still be a good idea to come say goodbye if I wanted her to know who I was. So I headed to Miami so I could find closure and peace with the idea of my Grandmother's impending mortality.

That was a month and a half ago.

Since then, Grandma's health has been a roller coaster ride, with her going back and forth between periods of confusion and coherence, times where my dad and uncle were sure she was about to pass and times where it seemed like she might last for months. But every time she'd fade, the bounce back would be just a little less than the time before. And even when she seemed to be making progress, he health had deteriorated to such a degree that she was unable to take care of herself and needed supervision 24-7 -- a situation that was complicated by her unwillingness to go to a nursing home. Back when she was in full control of her faculties, she even threatened to starve herself to death rather than go into a home, so my dad and uncle were put in the unenviable position of trying to balance respecting her wishes against doing what was best for her. For most of the last few months, my uncle had been staying with her full-time, first at the nursing home and then at her own house, but he finally had to return home to Maine, at which point my dad took time off of work to stay with her. By that point the writing was definitely on the wall, as Grandma was sleeping the majority of the day, and even when she was awake, she wasn't really there. In less than a week, she finally went to sleep and did not wake up.

All of which is to say, in effect I've been mourning the loss of my grandmother for the better part of two months, so maybe the fact that I didn't have a repeat of my initial breakdown wasn't that unusual.

Except, of course, that it's me we're talking about, and a lack of overwhelming emotional response should really be a red flag to anyone around me.

Now, that's not to say I wasn't sad, or that some tears hadn't fallen. When I read the card a friend from church had written, I teared up a little; words of comfort and support from my best friends did the same. But when Sunday evening rolled around and I still hadn't really been able to feel the impact of her passing, I started worrying a bit. As I told L'il Brother late that night, I was a little scared of when and where the emotional dam was finally going to break. I even tried to jump-start it as I lay in bed, focusing on the sense of loss and the realization that I would never see her again on this earth, but all that did was make it harder to go to sleep.

The next morning I got up at 6 AM to get ready for my morning work-out with TopGun. While waiting for TopGun, I started watching an episode of Torchwood, the slightly darker spin-off of Doctor Who. Although the tone of this particular episode had been fairly light-hearted through most of it, towards the end the characters attended a funeral, at which the estranged father of the deceased sang "Danny Boy." And while that didn't quite bring on the waterworks, I could tell it had primed the pump.

Shortly after the funeral scene ended, TopGun came out of his room, cranked up the music on his iPod docking station, and it was workout time. We started doing Hindu push-ups, and I found myself struggling with them more than usual; I switched to regular push-ups, and found that even those were proving unusually difficult. I punched the ground and cursed at myself in frustration. TopGun shook his head at me and said the same thing he always said when I let my frustrations get in the way: "Stop with the negativity; it doesn't help, just makes things worse."

Cue the waterworks.

I did manage to walk hurriedly into my room and close the door before really losing control, but for the next several minutes it all came pouring out -- all of the sadness and sorrow that had been building up in me for the past two days. After I had exhausted that first torrent of emotion and had composed myself a bit, I headed back into the living room. Not too long after I had gone into my room, TopGun had taken his iPod and went back to his to continue his workout; I could hear the music coming from the other side of the house. Feeling strangely invigorated, I dropped down and knocked out a couple of sets of push-ups with no problem; apparently my earlier attempts had suffered from the emotional weight I had been carrying around.

TopGun came out to check on me, and I told him I was feeling much better. He said that he could tell I'd been holding everything in, and he was glad I was finally able to let it all go; I told him that I had been trying to let go and had failed utterly, and then joked "Who knew all it was going to take was you yelling at me?"

The mind is a funny thing; two days of sympathy and condolences and sad thoughts hadn't made a dent in my emotional shut-down, but let me watch one British Sci-Fi show with a funeral and have my good friend give me the same advice he's given me time and time again, and the dam gets blasted to smithereens.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking that it's not a very fitting memorial for my grandmother, and you would be right; very little of this post has been about the person she was, or what she meant to me. I'm not sure I'm quite up to that at this point.

A Wii Temper

2010-01-28T08:35:00.000-06:00

There are some people out there who would describe me as a very laid-back, easy-going, even-tempered kind of guy.

These people have obviously never watched me play video games.*

I have long maintained that video games bring out the worst in me; I probably have a harder time controlling my temper -- and my tongue -- when playing a video game than any other time . . . and that includes dealing with The Lovable PigPen.

TopGun has recently borne witness to this less than stellar aspect of my personality thanks to my new Wii. At first he just caught a glimpse when he would get home while I was playing one of the Finaly Fantasy games at the beginning of the month, but I tended to stop playing when he came in so as not to embarrass myself too much. But now he has seen the full force of my video game fueled frustration thanks to countless hours of Wii Sports . . . particularly the tennis game, which seems designed to drive me completely insane.

After my ten gazillionth primal scream of rage at my inability to successfully return a volley with my backhand or keep a regular return in-bounds, I turned to TopGun and said "Sorry, Champ." He told me there was no need to apologize, as he found my imminent mental breakdown highly amusing and entertaining**.

The obvious question is "If you find these games so frustrating, why keep playing them?" Well, the obvious answer is that I am a bit masochistic and a glutton for punishment -- for evidence, see pretty much any blog post tagged "Roughhousing." But even beyond that, the overly competitive side of myself that is responsible for most of my negative outbursts refuses to let me quit. My desire to master the game is more powerful than my desire to maintain my sanity -- unfortunately, my ability to master the game feels nigh unto non-existent at times, and so my grip on sanity and serenity is sure to be fleeting.

*Or play racquetball. Or volleyball. Or anything requiring hand/eye coordination.
**Alternate post title: "With Friends Like Champ, Who Needs PigPen?"

TopGun's Turn of Phrase

2010-01-27T08:00:00.000-06:00

This past weekend TopGun and I got caught up on a lot of shows which had been languishing on my DVR waiting for us to both be free to watch. One of these was the first four episodes of Chuck, including the highly entertaining two-part episode with a heavy focus on Chuck's brother-in-law, Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb. During one scene, Sarah makes a comment about how Devon is great at everything, to which Chuck replied "Hence the nickname." Naturally, this prompted TopGun to turn to me and say "So I guess I should be called 'Captain Awesome' from now on, huh?"

A little later we watched an episode of Better Off Ted in which Veronica and Linda become embroiled in a highly competitive game of Linda-bagel . . . don't ask. Anyway, Veronica has a monologue about how she's great at everything, and the word "hubris" gets thrown around a few times by different characters. So, when TopGun was jokingly bragging about something later, I responded, "Wow, what hubris -- so, should I call you Captain Awesome or Veronica?" After that, while we were playing Wii Sports I settled on combining them and called him "Captain Veronica Awesome" for the rest of the evening.

He played along quite nicely, and soon, whenever he would make a particularly impressive shot he would exclaim "That's Ver-awesome!"

I'm actually a bit jealous he came up with that before I did, but I suppose I should expect nothing less from ol' Veronica Awesome.

TV Tues - Law of Conservation of Jackassery

2010-01-26T08:05:00.000-06:00

I have no idea why I'm still watching Heroes.

What's sad is, this is the third season in a row where I can say that; you'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now. But, no, I've clung on to this train-wreck long past the point where it gave me actual pleasure to watch it.

At the beginning of the current season there was a glimmer of hope; the carnival storyline held a hint of mystery, the new characters were more interesting than annoying on the whole, and there was nary a sign of Mohinder anywhere at all. But it wasn't too long before that glimmer faded and died in the face of the asinine "Put Nathan's memories in Sylar's body" storyline left over from last season, coupled with what I've decided is Heroes' fundamental rule: there will always be at least one character on the show who will be self-righteous for no good reason and/or act like a complete idiot for no good reason, regardless of how the character has been portrayed in the past. Now, most of the time, both roles would be served by Mohinder -- oh, how I loathe that character -- but with him gone for most of the season, the torch of annoyance was passed on primarily to Parkman, although Hiro, Claire, Peter, and Noah have all borne it at one point or another. Last week's episode where Peter storms into Emma's apartment and smashes her cello instead of just talking to her about his vision is one example; last night's episode which found Claire heading to the carnival instead of talking to her dad is another. And don't even get me started on how often people have had a chance to kill Sylar and let him walk. Yes, I know, he's supposed to be immortal, but if you lop off his head, then that takes care of that -- Parkman's attempt to play "Cask of Amontillado" with the comatose Sylar last night drove me up the wall.

And yet, I'll be sticking with the show at least through the end of the season and, if it somehow, miraculously gets renewed, there are good odds I'll be watching it next year as well. Because, if history has taught us anything, it's that I'm a glutton for punishment.

Besides, I have to have something to complain about in my TV Tuesday posts, right?

Movie Mon. - "Well Played, Kable."

2010-01-25T20:54:00.000-06:00

Only one review today, my blog monkeys; I'll try to pick up the pace next week.

Gamer: a sci-fi action flick starring Gerard Butler as Kable, a death row inmate who gets drafted into participating in a game that could allow him to win his freedom by being a living avatar controlled by a teenager playing in a flesh-and-blood video game. At times quite predictable, but for me it was worth watching just for a handful of surprising (and sometimes surreal) scenes, including a cameo by Milo "Peter Petrelli" Ventimiglia as a pervy character named "Rick Rapist" and a bizarre song-and-dance number by Michael C. "Dexter Morgan" Hall. As a mater of fact, most of the scenes I enjoyed in the film were ones featuring Hall as the eccentric genius responsible for the technology used in the game. Not a great movie by any stretch, and the ending felt forced and inorganic -- especially the horrendous "Well played, Kable," line -- but on the whole, I enjoyed it for its bursts of randomness if nothing else.

If TopGun Tells Me "Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body" One More Time . . .

2010-01-21T16:58:00.000-06:00

As mentioned last week, I am once again on a quest to lose weight and get in shape. As part of this I have drastically reduced my soft drink intake, cut fast food out of my weekday diet, joined a gym, and -- perhaps most telling of all -- got up at 6:30 AM this morning in order to exercise before heading to work, and plan to do the same thing Monday through Friday from here on out. As anyone who has had to live with me can probably attest, a morning person I am not. But, since there's always a danger when I work out solely at night that my evening exercises will be derailed by the siren call of the recliner, a morning workout seems to be called for. Not to mention the benefits of kick-starting the metabolism first thing.

I actually got on the early morning workout kick several months ago, when TopGun and I were doing P90X. Granted, we didn't make it up every morning; there were multiple times when I would roll over to see my cell phone flashing with a text message from TopGun saying he wasn't going to work out that morning due to insomnia or sinus problems or what have you, but that I was more than welcome to go on without him. I, of course, almost always declined to get up and workout without him. Solidarity, you know. Still, despite the occasional hiccup, we managed to keep to the morning workout schedule for several weeks, before other scheduling conflicts made it too difficult to maintain at the time. But now those conflicts are behind us, so back to the early workouts we go.

It's good to have TopGun around as a workout partner, as his overly healthy eating habits and obsessive need to work out tend to shame me into trying to emulate him. Not to mention that I always push myself harder when there's someone else working out with me than when I'm working out alone. TopGun likes variety in his workouts, so we are now on probably the 4th or 5th different workout schedule since he moved in last May. That includes the time we did P90X and the much more intense Insanity. It was at the end of our first month of Insanity that I got really sick for a few weeks, so TopGun had to finish the second month without me -- considering that Insanity was about to make my knees explode at the time, I wasn't too heartbroken. Of course, the downside was that by the time I felt up to working out again, I had lost a lot of the strength and stamina I had gained before.

At times it's hard for me not to focus on things like that; even now, I have to force myself not to dwell on the fact that I'm not as strong as I was back when I was working out regularly with Cap'n Shack-Fu and Li'l Brother a year or two ago. When that happens, I try to remind myself that, while I may not be back to where I was at the peak of that time, neither have I fallen back to where I was at the beginning. A small comfort, perhaps, but I need all the help I can get, if for no other reason than to keep TopGun from smacking me around for getting all mopey and self-deprecating.

A few weeks ago, I got a message from one of the Parkerites letting me know that several of them are taking part in The Cowtown 5k at the end of February, and asking if I wanted to participate. Now, on the one hand, it would be a good excuse to see the gang, most of whom I haven't seen since the weekend of GMC's wedding, as well as serving for an additional motivator for getting in shape. On the other hand, I've never been a fan of running at the best of times, and my current weight makes it hard on my knees. After much hemming and hawing, I decided to go ahead and sign up for the danged thing, and so on my next trip to the gym for some cardio I will be heading to the treadmill instead of the elliptical. Depending on how that goes, I might have to reevaluate the idea . . .

Fragmented Fri. - Goodnight, Champ

2010-01-15T18:38:00.000-06:00

Since I haven't blogged regularly for quite a while, I thought I'd use today to catch all you blog monkeys up on what's going on in my neurotic little world . . . but then I realized there really isn't all that much to report.

I suppose there is one thing; remember last year when I resolved to start eating better and lose some weight? Well, I'm resolving it again, only this time I'm hoping to stick it out a bit longer. My current goal: to fit back into size 34 jeans while I'm still 34, which gives me about 4 1/2 months to do so. Today marked my 5th day without a soft drink of any kind, as well as my 5th day without fast food. TopGun and I have been working out, and tomorrow I plan to join the gym so I can have access to an elliptical and work on my cardio again.

This past week on Facebook has somehow been declared "Retro Week" prompting people to replace their normal avatars with younger pictures of themselves. I decided to be a good little sheep and follow the trend.

Zinger asked me if this retro-picture would be accompanied by some retro blogging. "Is there something exciting from you past you haven't blogged about yet?" he asked. Sadly, I'm still drawing a blank.

Last night The Lovable PigPen came up to Denton to hang out for a bit. He was about ready to leave around 11 when he decided to challenge me to a quick game of tennis on the Wii; despite my better judgment I agreed, and so it was that "one quick game" turned into several hours worth of game play. I wound up not getting to sleep until almost 3*; it was a lot like when we were still rooming together and would stay up all night playing video games, with the exception that neither of us picked a fight with the other this time around. Oh, well, maybe next time.

A while back, TopGun and I were watching a movie where somebody sent their kid to bed saying "Goodnight, champ!" I turned to TopGun and told him that's what I was going to say from now on when he went to bed; surprisingly enough, I have done this pretty faithfully for several months now, and now "Champ" has become the real-world nickname I use when I text/email him**

I don't normally talk about my friends' relationships here, but I just had to mention that my best bud Li'l Random McEvil is now engaged to be married, so I'll be heading to Florida next year for his wedding. Congrats, Li'l Brother!

*This evening TopGun told me I needed to inform PigPen he's not allowed to come over on school nights anymore
**Much like how in real life Li'l Random is Li'l Brother, Cap'n Shack-Fu is Bubba, and The Lovable PigPen is Ginger Bastage

NaNoWriMo Year 2

2010-01-14T13:01:00.000-06:00

As I mentioned before, last November I took part in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo) for the second time, and once again was successful in meeting the goal of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. The experience was a little bit different this time around for a few reasons.

First of all, I didn't start off with a massive lead like I did the first year. Part of this was because in Year 1 the 1st of November fell on a Saturday, giving me a full weekend's worth of virtually uninterrupted writing, whereas Year 2 fell on a Sunday. Add onto that the fact that I was sick that whole weekend* -- plus I didn't have the extra incentive of trying to build a buffer to allow for moving like I did in Year 1 -- and I never had the commanding word count lead this time around. Of course, not being thousands of words ahead of everyone else did reduce the amount of death threats I received from fellow participants, so that was a bit of a bonus.

Probably the biggest difference between Year 1 and Year 2 was the type of story I was trying to tell. Not in subject matter, but in structure and complexity. Year 1's effort, Gateway Drug, was, with the exception of an epilogue, told entirely from the perspective of the main character. As such, I was able to to just let the story unfold organically, following Panic** through his misadventures as they occurred to me. However, with Year 2's effort, tentatively (very tentatively) titled Talent on the Rise, I started out with four different sets of characters in four different locations and then had to figure out how I was going to do justice to each of their individual arcs and still bring them all together for the climax without forcing it or resorting to a deus ex machina. So, a few more balls to juggle this time around.

Along those lines, when writing Gateway Drug, I honestly had no idea how it was going to end. The beginning was crystal clear in my head, but until I started writing, I didn't have a clue where Panic was going to wind up. With Talent on the Rise*** however, I had an idea of where I wanted it to start, and how I wanted it to end, but very little idea of how to get from point A to point B.

Then there was the interference from my borderline-OCD which flared up when I was trying to structure the rotating P.O.V.s in the story. After some fits and starts, I finally wound up deciding to have it rotate not just between the four locations, but also between the protagonists and antagonists. So, I'd have a chapter from the P.O.V. from a character from Location 1, followed by a brief interlude with the P.O.V. of an antagonist somehow connected to Location 1; then the next chapter would be the P.O.V. of a character from Location 2, followed by an antagonist interlude; and so on for Locations 3 and 4, at which point it would loop back around to Location 1. This worked out well at first, and actually forced me to flesh out the characterization and motivation of the antagonists, which was a definite bonus. Unfortunately, as some portions of the story zipped towards the climax more quickly than others, and I had to find ways to make one group of characters mark time until the other groups could catch up, it became cumbersome. But I was committed to it at that point, and so persevered until I reached the word goal and stopped, even though the story wasn't even close to done yet.

And yes, that's another difference between Year 1 and 2; in Year 1 I brought the story to an ending, even if it was very cliff-hanger-ish, but with Year 2 I pass the target word count and said "That's enough for now" and took a break . . . a break which is still going, even though I'd planned to resume writing again over Christmas break. I do want to finish the story, if for no other reason than this story has lived in my head in one way, shape, or form since I was in 6th grade, and I really, really, really need to get it out of there. I just hope I can find motivation to do so sometime before next November.

*Being sick that weekend meant I missed out on the Singles Halloween party on Friday and the church's Carnival 31 festivities on Saturday for the first time since2003.
**Yes, the character's name is Panic
***Man, I hate that title; as placeholder titles go, it's okay, but I really want to come up with something else.

To Blog or Not to Blog? That Is the Question.

2010-01-13T22:14:00.001-06:00

Been a busy day, started to type up a post about NaNoWriMo earlier but wasn't able to make much headway. I could finish it and get it posted, but that would interfere with my attempts at getting onto a better sleep schedule. And so, I find myself being forced to put up a filler post in order to honor my "something every day" commitment; however, I realize that I might get a pass for posting something so frivolous once or twice, but that I'll need to step up the content/entertainment quotient quite a bit before the blog monkeys start to get restless.

And speaking of restless, it's time for me to get some shut-eye. More substantive blogging tomorrow (I hope)

TV Tues - My Winter Schedule

2010-01-12T10:28:00.000-06:00

In my last TV Tuesday blog I looked at the then upcoming Fall season and predicted which shows I would and wouldn't be watching; figured today would be a good time to update y'all on how my viewing schedule has panned out

MONDAYS

7:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS), Chuck(NBC)
8:00 Two and a Half Men (CBS), Heroes (NBC)
8:30 Big Bang Theory (CBS)
9:00 Castle (ABC)

As predicted, Castle, HIMYM, 2 1/2 Men, and BBT are still squarely on my schedule (although 2 1/2 Men is increasingly hit or miss with me) while Accidentally on Purpose barely lasted two weeks before getting deleted from the DVR. Not a horrible show, per se, but not nearly engaging enough to keep me hooked.

As for Heroes . . . ugh. Think I'll save all of my ranting and raving about the train wreck that is Heroes for its own post. And yet, I'm still watching it . . . I have a sickness.

The one addition to the viewing schedule for Monday is Chuck. I haven't had a chance to watch the three hours worth of episodes that aired over the last couple of days, but they're high on my list.

TUESDAYS

7:00 - 9:00: Better Off Ted and Scrubs (ABC)
9:00: Blue Mountain State (Spike)

I would be more specific with the airing information, but ABC has been burning off episodes of both shows like crazy, and I never know from week to week which one will be on when. Once again, thank heavens for my FIOS DVR.

My parents got me the first season of Ted on DVD for Christmas, and mom and I spent the two days dad had to work over break plowing through the DVDs. So far the second season has been just as entertaining as the first, which makes it all the more painful to know that its ratings aren't that good and it probably won't get picked up for a back 9 episode order.

I'm not quite as enamored of the new iteration of Scrubs, although it is growing on me, and seems to be a lot better now that J.D. is gone and the new characters are really getting a chance to grow. Doubtful that it will get a back 9 order either, though.

Of course, in about a month it won't matter anymore, as their time slot will be taken over by the final season of Lost. February 2 cant' get here fast enough for me.

Tonight's the premiere of a new comedy on Spike, Blue Mountain State which looks like it might be funny; we'll see if it manages to work its way into my viewing rotation.

WEDNESDAYS

7:30 The Middle (ABC)
8:00 Human Target (Fox), Modern Family (ABC)
8:30 Cougar Town (ABC)
9:30 Tosh.0 (Comedy Central)

The (mercifully) short-lived Hank was pretty much as bland and unfunny as I had expected it to be, so no surprise there. What is surprising is just how much I enjoy every other sitcom ABC has airing on this night; even more surprising is that all three shows have become big hits, and as of today have officially been picked up for a second season.

Starting next week, Glee's time slot will be taken over by The Human Target, an adaptation of a DC comic book about a man who pretty much gets hired to stop assassination attempts. In addition to the comic book angle hooking me, the show also features three actors I really like: Mark Valley, Chi McBride, and Jackie Earle Haley. Hoping the quality of the writing is up to the quality of the cast.

THURSDAYS

7:00 The Deep End (ABC, iffy), Survivor (CBS), Community (NBC)
8:00 Grey's Anatomy (ABC), Fringe (Fox, definite),
8:30 30 Rock (NBC/Hulu)
9:30 Archer (FX)

Remember how in my previous post I said "The Office is a no-brainer"? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. After a string of episodes that left me either cold or uncomfortable instead of amused, I have relegated the show to my "will watch on DVD someday" list.

For the record, I did watch almost all of FlashForward, although I still need to catch the mid-season finale if it's still online. Think it's an okay show, but I'm watching it more for answers to the main mystery than for any of the characters. Although, the fact that there's been a bit of a regime change in the show-runners gives me hope that when it comes back from hiatus in March it will be improved. In the meantime, its slot will be filled by a new lawyer series, The Deep End, which benefits enough from a likable cast that I might give it a try . . . although probably only if it's available online, since I can't miss Survivor or Community.

The other addition to this night's schedule is the animated spy spoof Archer on FX. TopGun and I caught a sneak preview of it several months ago after an ep of It's Always Sunny and enjoyed it quite a bit.

FRIDAYS

8:00 Dollhouse (Fox), Caprica (SyFy)

Even though it's almost over, there's still one more episode of Dollhouse to air this week, so it's getting a mention, dagnabit!

I know it was a bit of a love-it-or-hate-it show, but I fell mostly on the "love it" side for Stargate: Universe so I'm looking forward to its return in the Spring. Until then, I have the BSG prequel Caprica to fulfill my "spin-off of popular Sci Fi show I loved" jones.

SATURDAYS

Now that college football is over, have a feeling Saturday will become my day to get caught up on DVRed shows and DVDs.

SUNDAYS

7:30 The Cleveland Show (Fox, iffy)
8:00 Family Guy (Fox)
8:30 American Dad (Fox)

Yes, I'm still a sucker for Seth MacFarlane's shows; even American Dad has grown on me.

That about wraps it up; I'm sure there will be some changes when more new shows start premiering/returning following the Winter Olympics.

Movie Mon. - Six Degrees of Star Trek

2010-01-11T10:30:00.000-06:00

Considering that I haven't done a Movie Monday post since last June, odds are good that there are plenty of films I could talk about; heck, I watched at least a dozen films while I was at my parents' house over Christmas break. As usual, I tried to introduce my folks to a few films that I figured they probably wouldn't watch on their own -- Tropic Thunder, Watchmen, Dr. Horrible, etc. One thing that really stood out to me during the break was how many people from the recent film Star Trek film popped up in other movies we watched over the break. Chris Pine (Kirk) played a massive jerk in a B-grade horror film called Carriers; Zoe Saldana (Uhura) was in a different B-grade horror flick, The Skeptic, as well as the big budget 3-D extravaganza Avatar; Anton Yelchin (Chekov) turned out to be a young Kyle Reese in Terminator: Salvation; Eric Bana (Nero) turned up as Adam Sandler's romantic competition in Funny People; and Chris Hemosworth (Kirk's dad) was pretty much unrecognizable as a possibly sociopathic hitchhiker in the highly entertaining A Perfect Getaway.

My point? Don't really have one; just probably won't have time to do real reviews this week, and needed something to post to keep my new blogging commitment fulfilled.

Speaking of the reviews, do any of you blog monkeys have any thoughts on them? Would you rather I keep doing the pellet reviews of everything I see, or do more in-depth thoughts on films that really affected me one way or another? I figured after such a long blogging hiatus, I might as well examine my format a bit.

The Great Texlahoma Blizzard of Aught-Nine

2010-01-08T10:27:00.000-06:00

As most of you blog monkeys are probably aware, this past Christmas Eve was marked by an enormous blizzard that shut down highways throughout Texas and Oklahoma. Luckily for me, I headed up to OK on Tuesday afternoon -- stopping off in Tulsa to hang out with Cap'n Shack-Fu before heading on up to Miami on Wednesday -- so I was able to avoid getting caught in the horrible weather. Many of my friends weren't quite so lucky: it took Coronela 16 hours to get from Ft. Worth to Oklahoma City; TopGun's normal 5 1/2 hour trip to his family in Midland took him 19 hours, with people skidding out of control all around him; and the winner of the "longest Christmas Eve ever" award goes to Shack-Fu's sister and brother-in-law, whose 9 hour trip from Houston to Pampa took them over 28 hours due to the highway becoming a virtual parking lot at times.

And then there was The Lovable PigPen, who called me while he was on the road to let me know that if we ever decide to go on another ski trip, we could probably take his car, which was handling fine in conditions very similar to what we encountered on our way home from Breckenridge a couple of years ago . . . of course, then he wound up getting stuck while turning into his mom's driveway about 50 yards from her house, so maybe we should rethink that suggestion . . .

When I got PigPen's call I was out doing last minute Christmas shopping with my parents in Joplin -- my mother was all giddy about shopping on Christmas Eve, and I was along for the ride. The bad weather didn't hit us until we were heading back to Miami, and it didn't really start coming down hard until after we made it home. We did venture out once more that evening, heading to the video store so we could rent some movies for Mom to watch while we were snowed in, but after that Mom and I didn't leave the house until Sunday afternoon when we went to visit my Grandma Ann.

A great deal of my entertainment/exasperation on Christmas Eve came courtesy of my parents' cat, Snitzelfritz. Not too long after we got home, Snitz decided that he wanted to go outside, and so positioned himself by the back door and meowed to be let out. I opened the door, and as the bitterly cold and damp blast of wind hit him he backed up, shivered, looked at me with a baleful stare, and emitted an accusatory meow that I couldn't help but translate as "What did you do?!!?!?!" That was the amusing part; the exasperation started to set in as his tiny cat brain seemed to think that if he waited three minutes the outside conditions would change completely, and so he would be at the door meowing again, only to turn tail and run as soon as the door was opened and the cold hit him. I have no clue how many times we went through this ritual before he had a burst of feline inspiration and demanded to be let out into the garage instead. Of course, my parents have it set up so he can exit the garage and go outside, so probably 10 minutes after letting him into the garage there was some frantic scratching and meowing at the back door as the dummy* desperately tried to regain entry into the house. This, too, was repeated several times, until finally the fact that being out-of-doors was not a viable prospect for him finally sunk in.

The biggest downside to the bad weather** was that it derailed my post-Christmas travel plans; even if the weather was supposed to be okay in our neck of the woods on one day, then it was supposed to be bad somewhere else along the route -- and then the conditions would be flip-flopped the next day. By the time it was all said and done, I didn't head back to Denton until New Years Day, which meant I missed out on the Singles New Years Eve party with its super-hero theme. Luckily, I had thought to drop the stuff I'd promised they could use for decorations beforehand, so all of my action figures were available to guard the DJ from evil-doers.

But unfortunately it meant I didn't get to see all of the super-costumes everyone had thrown together.

Although I'm even more upset that I didn't get to have fun playing with the visual sound effects.

On the plus side, by heading back on Friday, it meant I got to stop off in Tulsa and see my best bud Cap'n Shack-Fu again for a bit, and as he's the closest thing to a real Action Hero I know, it was practically like being at a super-hero party. Only, y'know, fewer girls in interesting outfits.

Yes, they're wearing super-hero boxers; Marvel on the left, DC on the right.

*When I visit my parents, I often amuse myself by coming up with "Weird Al" style songs about how stupid/crazy the cat is. The festive one I settled on this time around was "You're a Dumb Cat, Snitzlefritz" to the tune of "You're a Mean on, Mr. Grinch," which was probably on my mind mainly because Zinger had sent me this link while I was there.
**Besides the fact that there was tons of snow and none of my friends to play in it with

Arctic Blast!

2010-01-07T18:50:00.000-06:00

Last night TopGun and I had a lot of fun mocking one of the local news channels because of their panic-mongering "Arctic Blast!" coverage; TopGun, having lived in Colorado for over a decade, was highly amused by the people going crazy over a drop in temperature with next to no precipitation forecast. However, it appears we mocked a little too soon, as his early morning drive to work found him encountering a lot of black ice, and my not-quite-as-early morning drive was non-existent as I got an Eagle Alert text message around 7:15 this morning letting me know that UNT was closed for the day. Which was followed about 10 minutes later by an Eagle Alert phone call with the same message. Which was followed by anohter Eagle Alert text about 20 minutes later. Which was then followed by a third and final Eagle Alert text another 15 minutes later. Someone needs to let UNT know that not all of us have unlimited texting. Still, better to get multiple notifications than none at all, I suppose. I feel bad for any of my co-workers who went in before the notification went out; they missed out on getting to sleep in some more.

So how did I spend my impromptu day off work? Well, after I finally got up, I spent the next several hours playing one of the games I rented for my new Wii which I got for Christmas. Yes, that's right; after 34 years my parents finally gave me a video game system. According to my mother, they had to wait to make sure I was mature enough first.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Monkeys . . .

2010-01-06T13:37:00.000-06:00

I had every intention of starting up the blog again on January 1st, with a resolve to post something new every day . . . the fact that it's now almost a week later and I'm just now getting around to it probably doesn't surprise anyone who's been waiting on a new blog post from me since August.

It's strange looking at the numbers; in 2006 I wrote over 300 blog posts, in 2007 and 2008 that was fell below the 200 mark, and then in 2009 I wrote less than 30. Quite a drop off, I know, and there were plenty of reasons for that, but really what they all boiled down to was that 2009 was a year where I was lacking inspiration: inspiration in my blogging, inspiration in my teaching, inspiration in most anything and everything I did. I started to come out of that by the end of the year by forcing myself to partake in NaNoWriMo again -- yes, I met the word goal, but I still need to finish the novel itself -- but every time I'd sit down to write a blog post it would be like pulling teeth. I'm hoping to overcome this blogger's block the same way I made it through NaNoWriMo: by not obsessing over trying to find the perfect phrase and just accepting that sometimes getting words down on paper is enough.

With luck, this will last longer than every other time I've made this same resolution.

TV Tues - My Fall Schedule

2009-08-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again, when the broadcast networks trot out the bulk of their new and returning shows. After seeing Television Without Pity's "Watch, DVR, or Skip" Fall Preview, I thought I'd do something similar to show what my TV viewing schedule is starting to look like.

MONDAYS

7:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS, definite), Heroes (NBC, iffy)
7:30 Accidentally on Purpose (CBS, iffy)
8:00 Two and a Half Men (CBS, definite)
8:30 Big Bang Theory (CBS, definite)
9:00 Castle (ABC, definite)

DEFINITE: Much like last year, my Monday nights will be dominated by the returning CBS comedies, which shouldn't surprise anyone. I'm also looking forward to the return of Castle, which I haven't talked much about; this one is carried past its so-so premise by the strength of Nathan Fillion's personality.

IFFY: I'm not too hopeful for the new comedy, Accidentally on Purpose, but I'll give it a shot if for no other reason than it's shoehorned into the 7:30 time slot now that Big Bang Theory is being moved to 8:30, although that reasoning doesn't compel me quite as much now in the DVR age. As for Heroes, well, odds are good that I'm going to keep watching it out of a combination of inertia, morbid curiosity, and a never-ending hope that they will finally wise up and bump off Mohinder, but my patience with the show was pushed nearly to the breaking point last season, so we'll see if I can stick it out all season.

MID-SEASON HOPE: This Spring will see the return of Chuck, which should wipe out all the bad taste left behind by Heroes.

TUESDAYS

7:00: Nothing
8:00: Nothing again
9:00: And yet more nothing . . . oh, wait, no, thanks heavens for cable! Sons of Anarchy (FX, definite)

DEFINITE: TopGun and I recently plowed through the entire first season of Sons of Anarchy, and I can't wait to see how the internal strife of the club manifests this season. Plus, Katey Sagal kicks all kinds of butt as the manipulative motorcycle mama Gemma, and the show is worth watching for her alone.

IFFY: Okay, I might have been a bit harsh above; I suppose there's a chance that the Christian Bale procedural The Forgotten or the Juliana Margulies legal drama The Good Wife might be worth watching, but the first sounds pretty forgettable (pardon the pun), and the latter is only on my radar because its cast includes Christine Baranski.

MID-SEASON HOPE: The Spring will bring the return of Better Off Ted (allow me to do my dance of joy at this show's renewal yet again) and the re-vamped Scrubs, of which I am cautiously optimistic.

WEDNESDAYS

7:00 Hank (ABC, iffy)
7:30 The Middle (ABC, hopeful)
8:00 Glee (Fox, definite), Modern Family (ABC, definite)
8:30 Cougar Town (ABC, hopeful)
9:00 Eastwick (NBC, iffy), The Ultimate Fighter (Spike, definite)

DEFINITE: Only one returning show on my radar here; really looking forward to the new season of TUF if for no other reason than to see how Kimbo Slice does. I watched the sneak preview of Glee when it premiered a while back, and I enjoyed it quite a bit, even if it did get "Don't Stop Believing" stuck in my head for months. Meanwhile, the ads for the new sitcom Modern Family have consistently cracked me up, and all of the positive critical buzz has earned it a firm spot in my viewing schedule before having seen a single full ep.

HOPEFUL: Although in many ways new sitcom The Middle feels a bit like a Malcolm in the Middle clone, the online preview did make me chuckle a few times, and I feel obligated to support Neil Flynn in his first big post-Scrubs project. Along similar lines, although I haven't been wowed by the ads for Cougar Town at all, it's generated some good advance reviews, and the fact that it's created by Bill Lawrence, the mastermind behind Scrubs, I'll definitely give it a shot.

IFFY: The previews for new Kelsey Grammer vehicle, Hank, did little for me, but since all the scenes came from the pilot, there's a possibility that the show could grow, right? As for Eastwick, well, you should know by now that any SF/Fantasy/Horror themed show will get at least a token viewing by me, as bland as the premise sounds . . . unless it's The Ghost Whisperer, of course

MID-SEASON HOPE: In the Spring, Glee will be replaced by The Human Target, a comic book adaptation starring one of my fave actors, Mark Valley.

THURSDAYS

7:00 FlashForward (ABC, hopeful), Survivor (CBS, definite), Vampire Diaries (CW, iffy)
8:00 Grey's Anatomy (ABC, definite), Fringe (Fox, definite), The Office (NBC, definite)
8:30 Community (NBC, definite)
9:00 Private Practice (ABC, iffy), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, definite)

And, if you're thinking "wow, that's a lot of TV shows for one night," you aren't alone; have a feeling some shows are either going to drop off the schedule, or get relegated to online only viewing.

DEFINITE: The Office is a no-brainer, as is Fringe, my favorite new drama of last year. Yes, 9 years and 18 season in, and I'm still hooked on Survivor. And while Grey's has its ups and downs, as long as Yang and Bailey are on the show, and have not had total personality transplants, I'll keep watching. As for Community, I thought the pilot was brilliant, and can't wait to see where it goes from here. And, finally, TopGun has got me watching It's Always Sunny, and I am hooked.

HOPEFUL: Although vastly different from the novel which inspired it, I think FlashForward shows a ton of promise.

IFFY: Private Practice was *this* close to losing me last season; the promise of a Bailey-centric Grey's crossover could be all that keeps me in the loop on this one. And while I wasn't planning on giving The Vampire Diaries the time of day, I've actually heard enough positive things about the pilot that I'll give it a try.

MID-SEASON HOPE: Partway through the season, 30 Rock will return, which will bump Community to 7:00.

FRIDAYS

7:00 Nothing, especially not the horribly painful new sitcom Brothers. *shudder*
8:00 Dollhouse (Fox, definite), Stargate: Universe (SyFy, hopeful)
9:00 Sanctuary (SyFy, definite), Psych (USA, definite)

DEFINITE: I wasn't sold on Joss Whedon's new series Dollhouse for the first several episodes, but as the show progressed and its mythology grew, I became a much bigger fan, especially after seeing the unaired episode "Epitaph One" on the DVD. I recently watched the first season of Sanctuary on my laptop thanks to Netflix streaming video, and enjoyed it enough to want to see where it heads. And while Psych does sometimes make me uncomfortable, on the whole it makes me laugh more often than not.

HOPEFUL: I was a big fan of Stargate: SG-1, and a sorta-fan of Stargate: Atlantis, so I will most definitely give the newest addition to the universe a try, while attempting not to make the inevitable Star Trek: Voyager and BSG comparisons.

MID-SEASON HOPE: Come January, we have the highly anticipated BSG prequel series, Caprica; having loved the pilot, I can hardly wait for the series to get here.

SATURDAYS

As always, Saturday is not really a banner day for TV watching outside of college football and the occasional MMA match.

SUNDAYS

7:00 The Simpsons (Fox, iffy)
7:30 The Cleveland Show (Fox, iffy)
8:00 Family Guy (Fox, definite) Dexter (Showtime, definite)
8:30 American Dad (Fox, iffy), Bored to Death (HBO, hopeful)
9:00 Nothing

DEFINITE: Family Guy is one of those polarizing, love/hate sort of shows; I fall on the "love" side. And although I still need to get caught up on the last season of Dexter, there's little doubt that I'll be watching the new season as soon as I do.

HOPEFUL: The ads I've seen for Bored to Death have me pretty intrigued with its quirky cast and premise; hope it lives up to my expectations.

IFFY: It's been years since I've really enjoyed The Simpsons on a regular basis, and American Dad never gelled for me; both of these shows fell off my radar while I was at Benjiman Street, but they might get a reprieve thanks to the DVR. As for The Cleveland Show, I've seen some ads which I've really liked, and others which have left me less than impressed. Will have to wait and see.

MID-SEASON HOPE: Between HBO and Showtime, I'm sure there will be plenty of new programming to keep the DVR busy on Sunday nights.

Texting Tuesday, or "Laziness, Thy Name is Neurotic"

2009-06-30T10:13:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before, TopGun and I are doing the P90X workouts now. Because his work schedule is all over the place, we've decided to do our workouts first thing in the morning, which has lead to much zed-word-like behavior from yours truly in the evenings as I adjust to the new schedule. But it's also been the foundation of some mildly amusing texted conversations between my roomie and myself, which I now post here in lieu of having to come up with new material for a post.

First up: a conversation generated by one of many instances of me cursing TopGun's name on behalf of my sore muscles following a workout.

Me: Today's cursing of your name comes courtesy of my biceps, which were apparently sulking quietly yesterday but are now ready to voice their discontent
TopGun: I love it! I read your blog introducing me. I was not impressed with myself at all! :)
Me: So, was that a compliment from The Gray Man, or a complaint from TopGun/Showboater . . .
TopGun: A bit of both my friend! I like to be impressive but not brag about it! :)
Me: Humbly impressive, got it. I'll be sure to work that into the cast page entry I'm working on as we speak

On the second day of our early morning workout plan, I woke up to find a text from TopGun saying he wasn't feeling well, so he was giving me a break that morning. However, since I was already up, I decided to go ahead and work out by myself.

Me: Worst thing about this morning was I had no one to curse but myself. You made me curse my own name, TopGun, and for that, I curse you ;)
Me: Biggest regret of the morning: when you said you were nauseous, I should have said "I know you're scared you might throw up, but you gotta risk it for the biscuit!"*
TopGun: I must work out when I get home tonight.
Me: Damn straight you must, slacker!
TopGun: That word is prohibidabidibido!**
Me: Hehehehehe. I'm just saying . . .***

The next day, we were both back in the early-morning workout saddle

TopGun: Man, I'm tired
Me: You and me both, brother, you and me both.
TopGun: I worked hard this morning, why are [you] tired?****
Me: Trust me, putting up with you is enough to wear anybody out. Jackass***** LOL
TopGun: Shut up Todd. My feelings are in pain. Jerk wad. That's right! I called you a jerk wad. Take it, eat it, put that in your pipe and smoke it! :)
Me: Can't . . . breathe . . . laughing . . . too hard . . . you win this round, TopGun. Well played. Double Jackass :)
TopGun: Yes! I am so doing the running man in my head right now in honor of this victory!

Finally, a conversation that started when I decided to let him know that the dumbbells he had ordered for the workout had arrived, along with something extra.

Me: Your weights arrived, and you got a package from your mom. All I got were bills. You win again, TopGun!
TopGun: Not everything is a competition Todd geez!
Me: That's not what PigPen says . . . ;)
TopGun: But, even still, if we had to pick a winner for this situation, I guess it would be me . . . so I accept the victory!
Me: How gracious of you :)

Okay, that's enough of that; maybe next time I'll have actual content here.

*We had just watched Fired Up the evening before, and that was one of the lines we had been quoting back and forth.
**As was that one
***And that one as well; what can I say, FU was much more quotable than expected
****Yes, he left out the "you" in his text, so it took me a second to realize that I had just been insulted.
*****I'd like to remind all you blog monkeys that, to me, Jackass is practically a term of endearment

A New Plateau

2009-06-22T22:05:00.002-05:00

No Movie Monday post today, although I will say that Fired Up was a heck of a lot funnier than I expected; instead, we have what will probably be the first in what I have a feeling will be a long, long series of posts in the new "TopGun and I giving each other crap" genre because, well, we both enjoy giving each other crap.

Earlier tonight while flipping through the channels, I happened upon an episode of COPS. I turned to TopGun and mentioned how it was one of Cap'n Shack-Fu's favorite shows. TopGun said he rarely watched it, and I replied that neither did I, except when Shack-Fu was around and forced it upon me. I related how when he would come over to the house to watch TV and I'd flip past an episode he would start pestering me to change the channel back; I also related that my quickness to respond to his request was proportional to how much I felt like picking a fight with him. I then did a nicely exaggerated imitation of Shack-Fu's threats, followed by the statement "and then he'd kick my butt and watch COPS after all."

"So, he's just a bully," deadpanned TopGun. "Beats you up, then forces you to watch a show that you didn't want to watch. He's just a user, man."

"You're right," I replied. "I'm going to call him up right now and tell him he's a user. And then, he'll raise my rent. And then I'll tell him that you said it first, and he'll raise yours too."

"That's ok," he said with no hesitation, "I'll just beat you up and make you pay my half too.

That caught me off guard and cracked me up; when I stopped laughing I said "You know, that's the first time you've actually threatened to beat me up; we just reached a new plateau in our friendship!"

I hope PigPen and Shack-Fu don't get jealous.

Fragmented Fri - Five Posts in One Week? That's Unpossible!

2009-06-19T02:05:00.000-05:00

When I was starting to get the blogging bug again last week, I made sure to ask TopGun if he minded me writing about him, what with him being a Grey Man and all; his response was that he would be honored to be included in my ramblings. Poor, naive fool had no idea what he was getting himself into, did he?
One thing I neglected to mention in last Friday's Shack-Fu-centric post was the conversation I had with him when I got back to Texas following my Virginia trip. I called him up to see how he was doing, since he had left out super-early that morning to drive from Quantico to Denton. When I asked if he was on schedule, he replied that he had been for a while, but now was having to make up some time. Anyone want to guess what had delayed him? If you said "saw an accident and stopped to help," then you've obviously either met Shack-Fu or read this blog before.
Sometime during TopGun's first week at the house, I was talking about my roughhousing around with PigPen and Shack-Fu and the subsequent injuries and made a crack about how for some reason my best friends always try to kill me. He responded that I didn't have to worry about that with him, going on to explain that he only uses violence on those who deserve it. My response at the time was that PigPen would probably say that I did deserve it, but if the conversation had taken place just a week later, when I was fully comfortable giving TopGun a hard time, I would have instead used the first response that popped into my head at the time, cutting him off after the first half of his statement with a wounded "You mean we're not going to be best friends, TopGun?" with maybe some puppy dog eyes and a quivering lip thrown in for good measure. Hate to have missed that opportunity.
In my jiu-jitsu class on Monday I managed to submit somebody twice, with two different submission moves, even. The first was a North-South arm triangle choke which has become sort of my go-to move from side control, and one of the few moves I can catch people in on a semi-regular basis; the second was a kimura, administered while he had me in half-guard, which was quite an achievement for me because I always mess up my arm placement when I go for that. Anyway, a nice little ego boost for me; always nice to feel like I'm not perpetually the lowest man on the totem pole.
Midway through last week I got a text from TopGun asking me if I would call up an exterminator, as my roomie had had some extra protein in his cereal that morning courtesy of the ants which had infiltrated the box. After asking around, I decided to first try the liquid ant bait traps that Zinger suggested; within a day of setting them out, the kitchen infestation vanished. However, last night TopGun was assaulted by a couple in his room; apparently they know he was the one who ratted them out and were taking their sweet revenge on him.
Saturday morning I was being my usual lazy self, lying in bed and wondering if I should get up or not, when I heard the front door open, followed by the sound of TopGun talking to someone else in the living room. Curious, I got up and moved towards my bedroom door, whose handle started to turn. By that point I had recognized the other voice, and so I whipped open the door just as PigPen was starting to stick his ginger dome in. Turns out he had been driving back from crashing at a friend's house, and was passing through Denton when he was struck by hunger and decided to come see if TopGun and I wanted to go grab some breakfast. Thank heavens I was awake; I'd hate to think what evil things might have befallen me otherwise.
Figured I should share an example of TopGun's smartassery towards me so you don't all feel sorry for him for all the pot-shots I've taken at him so far. As we were driving to breakfast on Saturday, PigPen and I were talking about our rappelling trips* and PigPen was trying to remember who all went on our first trip. I said it was just him, Shack-Fu, and myself; he said he could have sworn there was a girl with us; TopGun piped up from the backseat "No, that was Todd."
Shack-Fu gave me a call on Sunday afternoon, and when I asked how he was doing he said he was doing all right, although he was horribly sore. When I asked why he was sore, he responded "Oh, had a bit of a crash the other day." My first thought: not the Challenger! He then went on to explain that he had crashed his bike and scraped himself up pretty bad; when I told him what my initial thought had been, he responded that if he had crashed the Challenger, I wouldn't have been hearing from him, as he would have had to have killed himself.
As I mentioned in my last post, despite only having known TopGun for a little over a month, I have felt unusually comfortable just being myself around him -- this, of course, has lead to me feeling compelled to explain to him several of my neurotic tendencies and try to prepare him for what storms may come. Honestly, I think I might need to just type up a pamphlet: "So You're Going to Be Todd's Friend: 10 Neuroses, Quirks, and Idiosyncrasies to Watch Out For.**" I'm sure it would come in very handy.
Last Sunday I got a call from my old pal Papa Lightbulb, who I rarely get to talk to these days since his family moved to Houston. They were in town, and I had seen them briefly after church but hadn't gotten a chance to visit, so wasn't totally surprised to get the call, but wasn't expecting the question he asked: "What can you tell me about Red Tornado?" Seems his son had just gotten a Red Tornado action figure at the store, and had asked Papa L. to call me up for the 411 on the character, since he knew I had been the source of primo Green Lanter intel a few months back. I weighed the pros and cons of illuminating the Lightbulb boys on Reddy's convoluted history, but finally settled for "He's a robot who controls the wind, can fly and blast people," thus maintaining my place as "useful comic geek" and not "horribly pedantic ubergeek." And yes, we did visit about other things besides comic book characters after that; man, I sure do miss Clan Lightbulb.
A few weeks back, TopGun let slip the date of his birthday to Slick (formerly MeiMei), and has regretted it ever since, as Slick has been pestering our resident Gray Man about how he wants to celebrate, and won't take "I'd rather just be totally ignored and not have anyone acknowledge my existence" for an answer.
At the beginning of the month I travelled to Asheville, NC for the North American Serials Interest Group (NASIG) Annual Conference. Sounds thrilling, doesn't it? It was actually pretty cool in a way, since most of the other conferences I've gone to for work have not had a whole lot of relevance to my job, whereas this conference was directed precisely at people who do what I do. Kinda nice. Plus, while exploring the streets of Asheville one night, we happened upon a drum circle and a huge mosh pit of college kids dancing wildly to primitive beats; don't get to see much of that around here.
The one down side to attending conferences is that they force me to try to get outside myself and meet new people, not exactly my forte. After my first night, I instigate the following texting conversation with fellow wallflower TopGun.
Me: Now I remember why I hate going to conference: MINGLING.
Him: I'm about to start a workout then just hang out. No mingling for me!
Me: Just for that, I'm throwing you the biggest birthday party in the history of the Singles department. Mingle *that* bucko!
Him: Hahaha! You clever bastard!
Yes, this is definitely the beginning of a beautifully smartassed friendship***

*Okay, actually we were talking about Taco Casa, but that required talking about rappelling.
**Oh, who am I kidding? I could come up with at least 25.****
***Last weekend when TopGun and I were synching up our smartass natures to pester Slick, she looked at us and said "You guys just feed off of each other, don't you?" We both instantly went into wounded innocence "I don't know what you're talking about!" mode . . . I don't think she was fooled.
***Crap; I am now seriously thinking about what my list of 25 things would be. Thanks a lot, creativity-driven borderline-OCD, thanks a lot!

Move Over, Li'l Random, There's a New "Grey Man" In Town!

2009-06-18T13:06:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of May, another poor soul found himself subjected to the psychological torture that is being my roommate. I learned pretty early on that TopGun shares Li'l Random's desire to be the Grey Man and fade into the background; so, naturally, I'm doing a special spotlight post all about him.

When I moved into Shack-Fu's house last November, the arrangement was that after he finished the academy and moved out, I would search for someone to rent out the extra room, a process I wasn't really looking forward to. So, when Shack-Fu called me to say that a friend of his was going to be moving to the area and needed a place to live, I was more than happy accept the excuse to avoid the roommate interview process for a bit longer. I was a bit leery about having someone I'd never met move in; I figured that the Shack-Fu Seal of Approval meant he'd be a stand-up guy, but that didn't necessarily mean that our personalities would mesh well. After all, when I asked Shack about my future roomie, he told me "he reminds me a lot of you, actually," and, well, let's face it: historically I have not always been my favorite person -- luckily, while TopGun and I have discovered some similarities, none have been of the overly-neurotic nature.

One personality trait that we discovered in common on his first night in town was that we are both people who don't do so well being thrust into new groups of people, and both tend to keep to ourselves in the beginning until we get a good sense of the group. Being cognizant of that, I tried hard to be a bit more outgoing in our initial conversations, in order to overcome the awkward zone. Luckily, we found our own ice breaking commonality pretty easily -- swapping Shack-Fu stories. And while that definitely opened up avenues of conversation, I think our burgeoning friendship really began to gel when Shack-Fu came back into town for a week. TopGun and I had been getting along pretty well, but I think the presence of our mutual friend made us both a little more comfortable letting our true selves show, and I quickly discovered another common bond: the bond of smartassery. Granted, thanks to his generally laid-back persona, TopGun's brand of smartass behavior is a bit more dry and deadpan than what I've grown accustomed to after the past few years of hanging out with The Lovable PigPen and Cap'n Peanut, but as they say, variety is the spice of life.

However, while we do have some traits in common, there are also some pretty big differences. First of all there's the whole "Grey Man" thing; as I've noted before, although I am prone to Cap'n Cellophane moments, I actually kind of like being the center of attention. TopGun, on the other hand, is not likely to perform a humorous interp in front of his co-workers or dance his fool head off at a New Year's Eve party or sing the Popular song in a crowded restaurant. But at least that's a fairly innocuous difference, and not one that's likely to cause many problems; some of the other differences though . . . I mean, look, I'm a pretty tolerant guy for the most part, but even I have my limits. Seriously; rooming with a laid-back, self-motivated, productive person who eats healthy food and works out every day? It makes me shudder just to think about it! I frequently accuse him of only working out so diligently because he's trying to shame me into getting off of my butt and doing something, and have threatened to make his nickname "Showoff" of "Showboater"; even worse, it's actually worked -- he's got me to agree to do the P90X program with him. I think he may have gotten some mental-manipulation tips from Count Shackula

All kidding aside, I'm very surprised at how quickly I've felt comfortable just being myself around him; as all the loyal blog monkeys know, it usually takes me several months before I let down my guard around new folks. Whether my new-found openness is a product of our personalities clicking just right, or my feeling generally more comfortable with myself than I used to, or something else entirely, I don't know; whatever the reason, I'm glad that I've been able to bypass most of my neurotic hangups and just let the real Todd manifest, and even more glad that getting to know the real Todd has not sent him off running, screaming into the night.

Then again, it's early days yet -- it took PigPen at least a couple of months of rooming with me to start plotting my death . . .

Welcome to the roller-coaster ride that is being my friend, TopGun; hope your sanity survives the experience.

Written Word Wed - So, I'm Slightly Better Read Now . . Slightly

2009-06-17T02:20:00.000-05:00

Several months back, I filled out one of those "how many of these books have you read?" surveys on Facebook, once again confirming that in terms of The Classics I'm a pretty poorly read English major, having read only 27 of 100. I asked for suggestions for which of the 73 unread books I should tackle; these are the ones I've gotten to so far.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon: Suggested by a friend of PigPen and Cap'n Peanut. Story told from the P.O.V. of an autistic teenager who becomes fixated on solving the mystery of who killed his neighbor's dog. Really enjoyable book, which I have since heard referenced by at least three different people in different situations.

The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The one book from the list that I decided on all by my lonesome because the synopsis caught my attention. Story of a book-dealer's son who is introduced to the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, where he is tasked to select a book at random to become a caretaker for; his choice is The Shadow of the Wind, a choice which will have huge implications as a shadowy figure begins to stalk him -- a shadowy figure reminiscent of the book's version of the devil. And that just barely scratches the surface of the many plot threads suffusing the book; sometimes funny, sometimes maudlin, but always engaging.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck: Suggested by Redneck Diva, who wanted to know what was wrong with me that I hadn't read it yet. To be honest, I had never read any Steinbeck before this one, mainly due to my mother's long-standing dislike of his work filtering down to me. However, I found that I enjoyed this tragic tale quite a bit. Enough to try some of Steinbeck's other work? We shall see.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: Read this one largely thanks to Flunky Lover's prodding, although I have to admit that the then-upcoming release of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies helped encourage my decision. Out of the books I read for this little exercise, this was by far my least favorite; I can see why people enjoy it, and there were sections that amused me greatly -- particularly any scene with Lady Catherine -- but overall, the plot's focus on Lizzy misinterpreting Darcy's motives and actions just wore me down. Yes, you can add that to the list of things that I don't particularly care for in my fiction: misinterpreted actions. All in all I'm glad I read it, though -- it made Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that much more enjoyable when I read it a month or so later.

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving: Suggested by Cap'n Disaster and one of my co-workers. My favorite of the books listed here, this novel is the story of Owen Meany, whose brilliant mind is stuck in an underdeveloped body, a fact that doesn't keep Owen from deciding that he is a servant of God with a special mission to fulfill. I think I would have to do a full-blown review to really do justice to this book; suffice it to say that the Christmas pageant sequence in the book was one of the funniest things I've ever read, and that I really wish I could have used part of it for a prose piece back in my Competitive Speech days -- although, how I ever could have done justice to Owen's voice, I couldn't possibly tell you. Anyway, highly recommend this one to any and all.

And that's it so far; I plan on picking up one of the complete Sherlock Holmes collections next time I'm on campus, since Coronela has been championing those stories for almost as long as I've known her. But after that, it'll be time to ask for more suggestions.

TV Tues - Ups and Downs

2009-06-16T17:20:00.000-05:00

Again, just trying to keep the blogging momentum going, so just some general TV thoughts.

First, things that have made me happy

Better Off Ted is one of the funniest shows to come down the pike in a long time; I did a big dance of joy when it was renewed
Did smaller joy-dances when Castle, Dollhouse, and Chuck were renewed.
Did a much bigger joy-dance when word came down that Futurama is coming back on the air with 26 new episodes, courtesy of Comedy Central.
Am beyond happy that the new season of Wipeout has started; can't go wrong with the continual proof of my favorite adage: "People getting hit in the face -- always funny. Always."
The penultimate season of Lost started off really strong, lost its way just a tad towards the end, but ended with a massive mind-frak that makes me want it to be 2010 right now so I can see how it all ends
Best late night comedy sketch in quite a while: Twitter Tracker!

Things that made me not quite so happy

Cancellations of Pushing Daisies, The Unusuals, and My Name is Earl.
Continuing decline of Heroes, which not even the return of Bryan Fuller could help
Lackluster reboot of Cupid; the original version with Jeremy Piven and Paula Marshall was filled with rapid fire wit and incredible chemistry -- the reboot fell short on both counts, despite too leads I like a lot.
Parks and Recreation, the lackluster new show from the creators of The Office. Can't believe just how bland and uninteresting the show is.

Maybe next week I'll get back into more timely reviews . . . maybe

Movie Mon. - Drag Me to FUN!

2009-06-15T12:34:00.000-05:00

Just a handful of reviews, to keep the blogging momentum rolling

The Burrowers: Entertaining horror-Western about a rescue party who sets out to save some missing settlers from Indians, only to discover that the settlers were taken by something far more dangerous. Solid script is enhanced by a talented cast (including two of my favorite character actors, Clancy Brown and Doug Hutchison) and the novelty of the monsters and their m.o. Recommended for horror fans.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop: Kevin James stars as an over-weight mall security officer who takes it upon himself to pull a John McClane when the mall is taken over by a band of crooks who take the girl of his dreams hostage. Not one I was looking forward to seeing -- the commercials did absolutely nothing for me -- but had heard enough positive word of mouth that I decided to give it a try. Not one I'm going to be watching again any time soon, and it had a few "Oh, come on!" moments that made me cringe, but over all, better than I had been expecting.

Defiance: Historical drama about the Bielskis, a group of Jewish brothers (played by Jamie Bell, Liev Schreiber, and Daniel Craig) who banded together to protect a community of Jewish refuges in the forests of Russia during WWII. Liked this one; interesting look at a facet of the war that I had never really heard about before.

Darkon: Documentary about a community of Live Action Role Players (or LARPers) who take part in the shared world known as Darkon

Some people will watch this and spend their whole time laughing at the dork in chainmail with padded swords; I confess to doing that a bit, but mainly aimed at those who take it so danged seriously that they can't separate relationships between characters in the game from relationships with the people playing the characters in real life. At the same time, the film shows multiple people who have used the game of Darkon as a way of improving their social skills in a way that benefits them in the real world, and it's much harder to laugh this hobby off when taken in that light. Either way, a fascinating film.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons: Excellent film about a strange boy who was born an old man, and ages backwards . . . kind of like Mearth from Mork and Mindy only a bit more attractive to the lady folk. Great writing, great directing, great performances; an off-beat movie, but one that I think can still hold great appeal to more mainstream audiences.

Drag Me to Hell!: A return to the horror genre from Evil Dead creator Sam Raimi filled with the sort of horror-comedy moments that made him a bit of a cult figure in the first place, DMtH is the story of a young bank loan officer who is stricken with a terrible curse which will doom her soul to hell. Saw this one with Li'l Brother, and we both loved it; at one point early on, he leaned over to me and whispered "Are we the only ones laughing?" And, for the most part, I think we were, and nearly falling out of our seats while doing so; guess not everyone appreciates a good old-fashioned horror-comedy romp these days. So, not for everyone by a long shot, but if you're a fan of Raimi's early work, you should definitely give this a try.

Okay, that's it for now; I'll try to catch up on some other reviews next time around.

Fragmented Friday - Giant Goofball

2009-06-12T02:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm back; no, I haven't any good excuses; yes, I plan to post regularly again; no, I don't guarantee it. In order to kick-start the blogging process, I figured I'd devote today's posting to the one man who has provided me with more blogging fodder than anyone outside of The Lovable PigPen: everyone's favorite action hero, Cap'n Shack-Fu.

In my last Fragmented Friday post back in April, I mentioned that I would be heading up to Quantico for Shack-Fu's graduation from the academy. I had a really good trip; would have been a great trip except for this nagging little "couldn't get a decent night's sleep for almost a week and so was pretty out of it most of the time" issue

I will admit to getting a little teary eyed at the graduation, although it was at a sort of strange time; before the graduating cadets even came into the auditorium we got to watch a video about what people at the academy go through, and as I sat there watching it, thinking about all the struggles my best friend had to get through to get to that graduation day, well, I got a bit choked up. Was pretty much back in control by the time Shack and his classmates came in; at that point, all I felt was intense pride in Shack.

Probably the question I got asked most often right after I got back from the trip was if the academy had changed Shack-Fu any; initially my answer was "no." He seemed like the same giant goofball I'd known and loved like a brother for the last several years. But during the week I took off work to help him move, I did get to see that his time at the academy had taught him how to handle stressful situations better -- so, for example, when there was a huge miscommunication with the movers that took several days and several iterations of plans to straighten out, Shack handled it all with great patience and grace instead of turning into Disaster Mode Shack-Fu which, trust me, is never fun to be around. Still a giant goofball, though.

Speaking of changes, as I was riding with him a few hours after his graduation, I asked him if he felt any different; he responded that it hadn't really sunk in yet, and that he really just felt like he was breaking the law because he was going around in public fully armed. Within a week, though, he was so used to it that he felt awkward when he wasn't packing heat. Honestly, if there was any job tailor-made for my gun-loving buddy, it was this one.

During his all too brief time back in Denton getting things organized for his move up to OK, I encouraged him to cover as many of the usual Shack-Fu activities as possible, and I think he did a fairly good job: had at least one meal at each of the usual restaurants; did the usual work-out routine at the UNT gym; had a couple of Guys nights and a couple of All-Singles gatherings; went to the firing range with PigPen; organized a game of flashlight tag; used his inhuman powers of persuasion to make me play flashlight tag even though I don't care for the game; and last but certainly not least, kicked my butt in a wrestling match. All in all, a pretty action packed few days, but what else would you expect from Super-Shack?

About a week or so after graduation, Shack-Fu decided to reward himself for all his hard work by buying a new car -- this car, to be exact.
Yup, that's a limited edition, numbered, 2008 Dodge Challenger. You would not believe how many comments, double-takes, looks of lust and/or envy I witnessed during my brief time riding around with Shack in the new Shack-mobile. If nothing else, the car is definitely a conversation starter . . . because, y'know, Shack needs so much help with meeting new people, shy, retiring wallflower that he is . . .

Shack only stayed at Wicker Way one night during his time off, and that was pretty much just so he could pick up some stuff and head up to OK for his house-hunting trip. When he came back from house-hunting to move his stuff out, he actually stayed at Li'l Random's place. Why? Because a couple of days after Shack went on his house-hunting trip, my new roommate -- a friend of Shack-Fu's who just moved to the area for work, tentatively nicknamed TopGun -- moved in. Things were a bit cramped for a few days as TopGun moved in his stuff before Shack-Fu was able to move his out, but we seemed to manage okay.

I can't tell you how awesome it was to have Shack-Fu around again for most of a week; unfortunately, getting used to having him around again meant that I had to get used to not having him around all over again when he finally packed up the last of his things and drove off into the sunset in his shiny new car. Man, I really miss that giant goofball.

Movie Mon. - Please Deliver Us From Obnoxious Children

2009-04-20T02:53:00.000-05:00

Dark Matter: Well done, if bleak, drama (loosely based on a true story) about a Chinese doctoral student in cosmology whose joy over getting to come to the states to study under his idol (Aidan Quinn) turns into disillusionment and depression after he runs afoul of university politics. Interesting, although quite a downer in the last act.

Splinter: Enjoyable horror movie about a young couple whose camping trip starts off bad, turns worse after being taken hostage by a couple of felons, and then goes completely off the rails when they are trapped in a gas station by a deadly creature. Liked this one quite a bit; a fairly original creature, which was nice, plus some interesting tweaking of the usual horror character tropes. Plus, I only really had one "Oh, come on!" moment through the whole film, which is a refreshing change these days.

Slumdog Millionaire: Oscar winning drama about a young man who becomes a contestant on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and attracts police attention because of how well he does despite his humble beginnings. An enjoyable film, although I wish I'd seen it before all of the hype and awards had piled up; with such heightened expectations it was hard not to have a bit of a "That's it?" feeling by the end. To be clear: yes, I liked it, but was not blown away by it.

Bedtimes Story: Sub-par family comedy about a man who discovers that the bedtime stories he tells his young niece and nephew are starting to come true. This one got on my nerves something fierce; I had a few minor chuckles here and there, but overall, something about it rubbed me the wrong way.

Twilight: Adaptation of the incredibly popular teen vampire romance novels about a high school girl who moves to a new town and becomes involved with another student who turns out to be a vampire. Don't really have a lot to say about this one; I've seen better, and I've seen worse. Although, I do have to say that if Edward telling Bella "You're like heroin to me" is what passes for romance in this day and age . . . yikes.

Dead Like Me: Life After Death: Straight to DVD movie continuing the story of Georgia Lass and her fellow grim reapers, although minus group leader Rube, whose absence and replacement by a new reaper (Lost's Henry Ian Cusik) is the driving force of the plot. I was a pretty big fan of the TV series, but didn't really care for the movie, especially the new actress playing Daisy; she just did not fit the character at all.

Special: Off-beat film about a depressive meter maid (Michael Rapaport) who signs up for an experimental drug trial which causes him to believe that he has super-powers; his natural inclination is to become a super-hero, of course.

Some excellent ideas present here, but the overall execution is a bit lacking. Liked it, but not as much as I'd hoped from the trailer.

Timecrimes: Enjoyable Spanish time travel film about an ordinary man who finds himself caught up in bizarre events that send him back in time. Somewhat predictable at first, but that actually works in its favor towards the final act as some twists occur. Fans of time travel flicks will enjoy; those who are horribly confused by Season 5 of Lost, probably not.

Tell No One: French thriller about a man who was cleared of the murder of his wife 8 years earlier, only to have suspicions aroused again after a couple of dead bodies are discovered near the scene of her death, a situation that is further complicated when he received an email featuring video of his wife, alive, admonishing him to tell no one. Well done film with some interesting twists and some engaging characters, particularly the main character's less-than-reputable help in his investigation, and the main heavies employed by the big bad.

Doubt: Excellent film about a stern nun at a Catholic school in 1964 (Meryl Streep) who suspects that a priest (Philip Seymour Hoffman) has been abusing a young student. Powerful performances from all involved -- including the always excellent Amy Adams -- compliment a smart and engaging script. As much as Slumdog failed to meet my expectations, Doubt exceeded them.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Dull yet annoying remake of the classic SF film about a strange visitor from beyond whose arrival invites aggression and paranoia from humanity. The disobedient kid made me feel borderline homicidal, and the CGI work was horribly distracting. Add onto that the film's inability to engage my interest in any character other than John Cleese during his 5 minutes on screen, and you have a big fat "meh" of a movie.

Fragmented Friday - Easing Back Into Blogging

2009-04-17T02:40:00.000-05:00

It has now been over two weeks since I last posted, and even the posts I had done before that were quite anemic -- sad state of affairs, I know. I have no really valid excuse other than a hectic schedule and a lack of blogging motivation.

A few of the things that have been going on in the past couple of months

A few weeks ago, Parkerite GMC got married, which led to a mini-Parkerite reunion. The bulk of the Poker Football League crew made it, as did Coronela and Little Man Stud, although Clan Flunky was unfortunately unable to attend, to the disappointment of all.
I started taking Brazilian jiu-jitsu classes the last week in Februay at TXElite MMA here in town. Once again I tried to keep it a secret from PigPen so I could try to catch him off-guard with improved grappling skills, and once again I let the cat out of the bag sooner than I had planned. I'm enjoying the class a lot; it has a more informal structure than my karate and judo classes -- no bowing as you enter and leave, the instructor isn't "Sensei" but "Coach," etc. -- which actually makes it a much more inviting learning environment for me, and most of the guys there have been really cool, helpful, and encouraging. I've gone to MMA class a couple of times as well, and while I'm not as big a fan of the striking as I am the grappling -- the whole "have trouble seeing this far in front of my face without my glasses" affects punches and kicks much more than it does chokes and submissions -- it is a great workout, and I plan to attend it at least once a week. I've taken this week off because I hurt my shoulder a couple of weeks ago and wanted to give it a chance to heal up, but I plan on jumping back in next week.
Two weeks from today I will be in Quantico, VA for Shack-Fu's FBI graduation ceremony; can't wait. There will be a few other Denton folk heading up for it as well, which is cool, so I won't feel quite so odd-man-out as I probably would have if it had just been me and his family.
Tonight the Singles are hosting another Murder Mystery; the theme this time is "Murder Me, I'm Irish." Like last year, we had more people wanting to participate than we had roles, so I created 9 additional characters with clues, plus my own character who will serve as M.C./host. I will be playing Rick O'Shea, well known spiritual medium and host of the cable TV show "Bouncing Back from Beyond with Rick O'Shea." And yes, I plan to speak in an accent all night long, and no, I do not guarantee that it will be stable.
I recently informed Li'l Brother that I was instigating a new policy; for every day that goes by without him returning my phone call/email/text/carrier pigeon/etc., he shall incur a penalty: 30 minutes worth of being practice dummy for my jiu-jitsu and MMA. After first being informed of the policy, he responded very quickly, but it's now been over a week since I left him a message which he has not yet returned, so it looks like I'm going to have to prove to him I'm serious . . .

Movie Mon - Guan You, Guan Me, Guan Di

2009-03-30T11:28:00.000-05:00

The Last House on the Left: Wes Craven's remake of his directorial debut about a group of criminals who find themselves at the mercy of the vengeful parents of one of their victims. One of those "sorry I paid to see it" films; not horrible, per se, but ultimately feels pointless. There were a couple of scenes that had Li'l Random and I laughing at the unintentional comedy, but there wasn't even enough of that to recommend it for MST3King.

Rock'n'Rolla: Latest effort from Guy Ritchie about a group of criminals getting in over their heads starts off pretty slow, but by the time the first robbery is pulled, the movie moved into full swing, and I was hooked. The first in a proposed trilogy of films following these characters; while my love for the film isn't equal to my love for Ritchie's earlier films like Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels or Snatch, I'm eagerly looking forward to the next installment, especially if it contains anything as genius as this dance scene

Changeling: Drama based on the true story of a single mother in 1928 Los Angeles whose son is abducted; months later, when the police claim to have found the boy, she refuses to believe it is him, and begins a crusade to find her real child, a crusade that makes her a target for the corrupt police department. Well done film that goes places I hadn't expected.

My Name is Bruce: Low-budget B movie featuring king of low-budget B-movies, Bruce Campbell, playing himself, albeit a more exaggerated, blowhard version; the plot revolves around a young fan of low-budget B-movies who accidentally unleashes a Chinese god of war (and bean curd) and tracks down Bruce as an expert on the sort of creatures you would find in low-budget B-movies and asks for help, which Bruce mistakes for a birthday present from his agent wanting him to enjoy live role-playing his low-budget B movie role. So, how was it? As far as low-budget B-movies go . . . kind of disappointing. Oh, and it had its moments here and there, but overall, I expect more from Mr. Campbell. Although, I did find the Ballad of Guan Di kind of catchy (warning: mildly bloody towards the end)

Wonder Woman: Animated movie featuring everyone's favorite Amazonian here -- sorry, Xena -- coming to "man's world" to fight the forces of Ares. I've been pretty impressed with the overall quality of the recent slate of direct-to-DVD animated films from DC animation, and I think that this one is actually the best so far; the chemistry between WW and Steve Trevor (as voiced by Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion) is excellent, and the humor throughout was well done -- really wish I could find a clip of Diana teaching a young girl excluded from playing sword-fight with the boys in the park the proper way to disembowel your opponent; good stuff.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Woody Allen film about two American women summering in Europe who both fall for a volatile artist. I know it won an Oscar or two, and I know people who enjoyed it, but I honestly could not wait for the credits to roll on this one; bored me silly. Might have been a different story if I actually cared about any of the characters.

Rachel Getting Married: Indie film about a recovering addict (the excellent Anne Hathaway) who is released from rehab in time to attend her sister's wedding. I have to confess, I had been expecting to enjoy this one more than I did after all the raves I'd heard -- although I had heard at least one dissenting opinion from a co-worker* -- but the film felt overlong, and the feuding between the two sisters wore on me. Interesting side note: the actress who plays Rachel, the sister who complains because she feels like her more troubled sibling gets all of the attention, also plays Tara's sister on United State of Tara, on which her character is always complaining because her more troubled sibling gets all of the attention . . . Anyway, I did enjoy the movie on the whole, but I tended to enjoy the scenes centered around Anne Hathway's character more than anything else. She definitely deserved all the praise she received for the role.

Bottle Shock: So-so drama about "The Judgement in Paris" wine-tasting of 1976 which placed the California wine-making community on the map. A solid cast, but an uninspired script. Not great, not awful, just kind of there.

Nobel Son: Dark comedy about a selfish scholar (Alan Rickman) whose winning of the Nobel prize in chemistry is overshadowed by the kidnapping and ransom of his son -- a kidnapping that he initially doesn't believe is real and so repeatedly hangs up on the kidnapper. I'd say I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the film at least, maybe even 3/4; but, as it moved into its final act, the decisions and behavior of the characters we were supposed to be cheering for took me out of it. On the whole, would give it a thumbs up, but it would be much more enthusiastic if they had reconsidered that final act.

Let the Right One In: Swedish vampire film about a bullied young boy who is befriended by a vampiric young girl. A more serious take than the last Swedish vampire flick I watched, this stylish film actually lived up to the hype I had heard about it. Recommended for all you fans of foreign language horror films out there -- yes, all two of you.

Happy Go Lucky: British film about an overly perky young teacher who decides to get driving lessons and is paired with a curmudgeonly instructor who is her polar opposite. This film was much more character driven than plot driven, and as such, your enjoyment will probably be tied directly to how much you can identify with or enjoy the lead character. For me, she was a bit too perky/quirky/giddy/what-have you for my taste; however, the scenes with the abrasive driving instructor were almost all pure gold, as were the scenes with the Flamenco instructor. Most of my time without those two on screen was spent wondering when we'd get back to them.

Role Models: Entertaining comedy about two guys (Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd) who have to serve community service working for a "Big Brothers" style charity to avoid prison time and get assigned particularly challenging "littles" to care for. The heart of the film is Paul Rudd's grouchy, sarcastic character developing a friendship with the geeky, LARPing Auggie (played by McLovin), and probably the funniest scenes in the film revolve around the two of them. Not that there's not entertainment to be found in Scott's bonding with Tracy Jr. from 30 Rock; plenty of funny stuff there as well. All in all, a really enjoyable comedy; sure, the plot is pretty predictable, but the humor trumped that.

*One day his Facebook status simply read "Rachel Getting Married = Andrew Getting Angry"

Fragmented Friday - Who Watches the Watchmen's Man-things?

2009-03-13T09:14:00.000-05:00

Latest diet update: as of yesterday morning, I was down 25 lbs since the beginning of the year.

Last night I went to a birthday dinner at Chili's in honor of Sunshine and Trouble, even though Trouble had declared multiple times that she was not having a birthday this year. Because of the timing of the dinner, I didn't get to watch OSU and OU play in the Big 12 quarterfinals, and had to settle for checking the score regularly on my cellphone. It was probably a good thing I didn't get to watch it, as the close score probably would have given me a heart attack. By the end, I had set the ESPN site to refresh automatically every 15 seconds, and so it was that it popped up the following info: "OSU 69 OU 70 FINAL." I sighed and announced it to the table, saying I was sad but was at least glad that the Cowboys had played them close. About 5 or 10 minutes later, one of the other guys said "Hey, Todd -- OSU won." Turns out he had just gotten a text from our former Singles pastor Freezeout who was actually at the game, and who is a big OU fan. I went back on my phone, and sure enough, the score now read OSU 71 OU 70. I later learned that OSU had gotten fouled with only a couple of seconds left and made two free throws to win the game; ESPN.com had just jumped the gun.

It amuses me greatly that most of the complaints I have heard from people about Watchmen have all centered around Dr. Manhattan's penchant for total nudity and the blue CGI private parts that accompany said penchant; who cares about plot, or acting, or direction or any of that jazz, just don't make us look at Dr. Manhattan's special purpose!*

My first time playing racquetball after the night of multiple buttkckings, I had made my first hit of my first game when Trouble said "What's wrong with your racket?" A quick glance showed that the top strings had broken. I went ahead and finished the game as is, since Trouble herself was playing with a cracked racket and had been for a few weeks, only waiting for payday to go buy herself a new one. Later, I emailed Cap'n Peanut to let him now that I had decided that the only possible explanation was that when he had borrowed my racket to play PigPen he had warped my racket with his crazy gorilla strength, and that a bill for a replacement would be forthcoming; he replied that it was nice to know that it was my shoddy racket that had been responsible for his less-than-stellar play that night.

Have you ever found out a piece of information that you were kinda glad to know, because you would hate to have been kept in the dark about it, but at the same time you kinda wish you didn't know, because that little piece of secret information fills you with concern and worry? Welcome to my world.

Last weekend the Singles had a game/movie night at Mei-Mei's parents' house; as always, the movie was shown out-doors, projected onto her parents' garage door. When the email invite went out, Cap'n Cluck urged everyone to remember lawn chairs and blankets. When I saw that, I decided to do one better than bringing a regular blanket, and instead brought one of my Christmas presents from my mom. So it was that about 20 minutes into the movie, as I started to get a little chilly, I wrapped myself up in a nice warm Snuggie**. The rest of the movie was spent with me looking for excuses to move my Snuggie-wrapped arms around for some reason, as every movement would sent Trouble and Lizard into paroxysms of laughter. One of those "you had to be there" times, to be sure, and I know most everyone else was lost as to what the three of us were dying laughing over.

I know I need to start up with the TV Tuesday posts again, but until I actually get around to it, I'd like to take this chance to say that this season of Lost is shaping up to be my favorite season, and I can't wait to see where it all leads. I also want to make sure everyone who is without the joys of TiVo/DVRs knows that Scrubs is moving to Wednesdays at 7:00. I'm also looking forward to the new sitcom which will be on between Scrubs and Lost, Better Off Ted.

Just looks like my kind of weird, doesn't it?

*Yesterday Zinger asked me if I had heard anyone make a "Dongtor Manhattan" joke yet; I assured him he was the first I had encountered.
**For the record: not only did I not request a Snuggie for Christmas, until I opened my present I had no idea that such a thing existed. It was a week or so later before I finally saw an actual Snuggie commercial.

Hanging Out

2009-03-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Cap'n Peanut mentioned that he and PigPen were planning on going somewhere to watch UFC 96 and invited me to tag along and I, of course, said sure. However, a few days later Peanut let me know that the plans were off because his parents were having a birthday dinner for his older brother that evening. In the end it worked out, since I would have had to have left early from the Singles Game and Movie Night to meet up with them, and thus would have missed out on tormenting Trouble and Lizard with one of my Christmas presents while watching Back to the Future on Mei-mei's parents' garage door*, but I was still a little bummed not to get to hang out with PigPen and Peanut. Since I'm trying to be more proactive in maintaining my friendships and not not sitting around waiting for people to come to me, I emailed Peanut earlier today to ask if he and PigPen had any plans in place for this weekend, or if they might be free to hang out with me. Peanut replied that they were both free, and wanted to know what sort of plans I had in mind.

I really wanted to reply "I already said: to hang out. Duh!" but thought that such a tone might be counterproductive to actually getting them to hang out with me.

Peanut's reply asking what I wanted to do is a pretty good example of a difference in mindset I've noticed between several of my friends and myself, with my friends being much more action/event oriented while I often couldn't care less. It happens often with Peanut, who isn't much of a sit-around type of guy; it happens with Shack-Fu, who is very task-oriented at times; it happens with Li'l Random, who is difficult to pin down even with very specific plans, let alone nebulous ones; and it happens with Zinger and Pooh-Bear, who will often meet my requests to come visit with questions of if I had anything special I wanted to do. And almost every time my friends try to get some solid plan out of me, I respond with a "doesn't really matter to me" sort of attitude.

It's not that I don't want to go out and do stuff; it's just that, for me, going out and doing stuff isn't necessary for me to enjoy myself. When I call someone up and ask if they want to hang out, it's because I want to be around them, talk with them, joke with them, pick on them, etc. To me, it doesn't matter if this happens waiting in line at the movies, in the middle of an amusement park, or just sitting at one of our homes around the TV set. As long as I'm spending time with my friends, I'm content. And, yeah, some of my favorite memories stem from going out and doing stuff with my friends: the birth of Hyper Force 3000; Bumper Bowling; St. Valentine's Day Meal of Doom; any number of trips to Texas Road House with Cap'n Shack-Fu . . . the list goes on and on. But by the same token, I have incredibly fond memories of just sitting around the house with my friends, swapping stories and goofing around.

Once upon a time, such a focus on activities would get to me as, in my usual neurotic way, I would turn it around in my head as a sign that people really didn't want to hang out with me without something else going on to distract them from me. But as I've matured, I've come to accept that this is just another one of the personality quirks, much like the True Colors system or the Languages of Love/Appreciation; I may be content to sit at home and gab, but others need more stimulation, need to get out of the house and experience something. And as long as both sides understand that about the other, things can run much more smoothly, and with luck not devolved into "What do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do? I asked you first" territory.

So, which category do you fall into, my blog monkeys? Are you a "go-go-go-go-go!" person? Or a "Stay or go, it doesn't matter as long as I'm with my pals" person? Comment hungry bloggers want to know!

Back to my email conversation with Peanut: I did respond with a crack about how if I had to plan things the deal was off, which followed by some ideas about what we could do -- ideas that I had already come up with before my original email because I pretty much knew that a request for concrete plans would be forthcoming.

Who says I can't learn?

*A story for another time . . . perhaps

We Watched the Watchmen*

2009-03-06T10:42:00.000-06:00

Last night Li'l Random and I headed to the Movie Tavern for the midnight screening of Watchmen. When I bought the tickets a few days earlier, the guy suggested we get there by 10:30 or 11:00, and that they'd probably start seating at 11:00. I, being a perpetual early bird, got there about 10:15, and there were a handful of people already there and waiting; Li'l Random showed up right at 10:30, which is when the bulk of the people started to flow in; by 10:45 the lobby was incredibly crowded. They did indeed start seating at 11:00, but only allowed 20 people in at a time, allowing enough time in between each wave for people to find seats and possibly order their food. Li'l Random and I wound up barely missing the first cut, but were the lead offs of the second wave and so were easily able to get seats in our regular spot; I think it took most of that hour before showtime to get everyone in and seated.

One of the things I like about going to the Movie Tavern on premiere nights is that there are usually a couple of their wait staff dressed up as characters from the movie; last night there was a Silk Spectre and a Rorschach. I did turn to Li'l Random and remark that if someone showed up painted blue and in a speedo (or worse), I was out of there; when I mentioned this fact to Zinger this morning, he posited that that guy was there, but that I just didn't see him because he was too busy cooking in the back. Thanks for the nightmare fuel, Zinger!

The crowd was pretty lively leading up to the show starting, and Li'l Random wondered if we were going to have to sit through that the whole time; I assured him that from the rabid fangirl conversation I had overheard in line before he got there, there was at least one scrappy female who would be willing to crack some heads if they got in the way of her enjoying the film experience. Still, the concern seemed like it might be justified when the trailers started and the promo for Wolverine: Origins started; have never heard such clamor over a trailer in my life. The noise level continued through the Terminator: Salvation trailer as well, but died off when the movie itself started . . . mostly. There was one idiot who kept making whooping noises early on during the initial fight scene and Rorschach's investigation, but someone near him yelled at him to shut up, and despite a quick rebuttal along the brilliant lines of "No, you shut up!" the troublemaker shut his pie hole, and we made it through the rest of the film with no other incidents -- except, that is, for some distractions provided by the girls seated on either side of Li'l Random and myself.

The girl seated near Li'l Random spent a good portion of the last quarter of the film sounding like she was about to cough up her lungs, which always makes for an enjoyable experience for all involved, but at least her significant other seated in between her and Li'l Random served as a bit of a buffer. The girl seated right next to me, however, was slightly more distracting as two thing quickly became apparent: (1) She was incredibly squeamish when it came to blood and gore, and (2) That said squeamishness took the form of much squirming, squealing, and whimpering for the duration of the bloody sequence. And while the film was far from a non-stop gore-fest, director Zack Snyder definitely didn't shy away from ramping up the brutality factor when violence was called for.

As for the movie itself, well, I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that I thought that on the whole Snyder did a good job adapting a very difficult text. Was it perfect? Hardly, although I can probably chalk some of my problems to being such a big fan of the comic that when Snyder's interpretation didn't quite jibe with my own, I found it jarring; most of those moments revolved around Ozymandias. Not quite sure what it was, but the movie version of Veidt rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go. On the flip-side, pretty much every scene with Rorschach was pure gold, as Jackie Earle Haley (probably best known for his role as the rebellious Kelly Leak in the original Bad News Bears films) managed to perfectly capture the spirit of my favorite character from the book.

Much has been made among the comic geek world about the ending of the film, which differs from the book; I have to say that, from my point of view, the culmination of the villainous plot in the movie works just as well as that of the book, if not more so, but I know your mileage may vary on that one.

On the whole, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, as did Li'l Random, although it's interesting to me that we came at this enjoyment from two vastly different areas. After all, for him this was a new story, whereas for me it was simply a long awaited adaptation of a work that I have read countless times since I first got a copy of the trade paperback for Christmas of 1988. Yes, that's right, it's been 20 years since I first read Watchmen; if that doesn't make me feel old, nothing will. Anyway, those of us comic geeks who have basically grown up in the aftermath of Watchmen have become a bit jaded to its deconstruction of heroics what with the preponderance of grim'n'gritty books that followed, but to someone whose only real exposure to super-heroics is TV and Movies, the overly humanized heroes here are something of a revelation.

I really hope some more of my non-comic-geek friends see it soon; I'm incredibly curious to see how the bulk of the uninitiated react to it.

*For the record, in my head that title has the word "Watched" pronounced with two distinct syllables: "We Watch-Ed the Watchmen." Why? Partly because the meter better matches the original quote that way, and partly because it amuses me. Okay, mostly because it amuses me.

A Dynamic Shift

2009-03-03T02:47:00.000-06:00

As I've mentioned before, I often spend great portions of my time dissecting the ins and outs of the interpersonal chemistry and group dynamics of those around me. While my previous posts focused on questions of what forms the basis of such dynamics, my blog post the other day brought to mind an example of a dynamic in which I have observed a sizable shift in a positive direction. Gradually over the last couple of years, I have reached the point that time spent with PigPen and Cap'n Peanut leaves me feeling like part of a trio of good friends, and not just a third wheel tagalong.

It's not that I always felt like a third wheel when hanging out with them, but more often than not, if I was around the two of them for an extended period of time, I would eventually slip into that self-defeating, Outsider state of mind. There were several things which contributed to this, on both ends. On my end of things, there was my natural, neurotic Outsider tendencies, which are really always just a moment away from kicking into full gear in any social situation. But there were a number of factors in the PigPen/Peanut dynamic that exacerbated my neurosis. To start off with, PigPen and Peanut had been best friends for years and years before either one of them met me, breeding a bevy of inside jokes, commonalities, and shared experiences that can be daunting to a newcomer at the best of times, but even more so when you factor in the specifics of the duo's behavior.

For you see, much as the combination of PigPen and Cap'n Shack-Fu results in HyperTwin activity that dwarfs their usual hyper behavior, and the combination of Li'l Random and myself leads to Odd Squodd weirdness which sometimes makes our individual randomness seem logical, so does the combo of PigPen and Peanut result in a ratcheting up of their normal behavior to a sometimes intimidating degree. In their case, the amplified behavior is of the trash talking, insult/put-down humor variety. Once the two of them get on a roll, it's a sight to behold, as they feed of each other's energy and go all out to one-up each other; woe to any outsider who tries to get a shot in on one of them, for they are then hit with both barrels from the united pair.

Adding to the joy was the fact that my status as PigPen's perpetual whipping boy was also usually amped up. So, for example , if Peanut made a crack at my expense, PigPen would jump in and join in the attack; if I were to take a crack at Peanut, PigPen would retaliate on his behalf, even if my crack at Peanut had me taking PigPen's side; can't imagine how that could spark my Outsider complex, can you?

A brief aside: Since people tend to read much more bitterness and vitriol into these sort of posts than what I intend, let me take a moment to state for the record that as far as I'm concerned none of this was malicious or purposeful. PigPen was just trying to zing me like he always did day in and day out, just like I tried to zing him; once again, our friendship is based on mutual antagonism, and I am as guilty of starting crap with him as he is of starting crap with me. That being said, when Peanut got added into the mix, I couldn't help feeling like I was constantly being ganged up on and marginalized. I know that wasn't his intent, but it's how I perceived it, and over time I began to feel more and more like PigPen didn't want me around in general, and resented me impinging on his time with his best friend in specific.

So, what changed? A couple of things.

I think the first and most significant change was that Peanut and I became good friends. You see, even though Peanut and I had known each other for a while before I even met PigPen, let alone moved in with him, we were more passing acquaintances than friends. For the longest time, I thought he didn't like me for some reason; after I moved in with PigPen and got to hang out with Peanut more, I soon learned that what I had read as disdain and dislike was actually a variation of the same misunderstanding that occurred when I first met iamam and Rebel Monkey -- turns out that Peanut wasn't always comfortable when in a new group, and kept to himself until he got more acclimated. Sound like anyone else you know?

Anyway, over time Peanut and I got more chances to hang out one on one, and I gradually began to dismiss the thought that he only put up with me because I was rooming with his best friend, and started to accept that he considered me a friend in my own right. Once I made that mental shift, and began to believe that Peanut actually wanted me around and I wasn't just getting invited along out of pity, that third wheel mentality started to fade. But it wasn't quite vanquished, because I had only dealt with one part of the equation.

The other part of the equation, of course, was my growing paranoia that PigPen really didn't want me around. How did I confront this problem? By employing a radical solution: I talked to him about it. Using my patented Paranoia Resolution Formula, we each figured out where the other one was coming from, and moved on from there. Sadly, by the time I'd finally burned away all of my self-consciousness regarding my place in the group, it was only another month or so before they both moved to Lewisville, and my chances to see them vastly decreased. But at least now that I do get to see them, I can just relax and have a good time, and not question my place in the group.

Although I'd been cognizant of the shift in our mini-group dynamic on some level, it was the day after the evening of multiple buttkickings that I really started to reflect on how large a change there had been. Yeah, PigPen and Peanut still egg each other on to a crazy degree, and yeah, there are times when they gang up on me; but there are also times when Peanut and I gang up on PigPen, and there are times when it's every man for himself, and there are times when we're all united against someone or something else. I no longer let their long standing friendship trigger my Outsider complex; instead I just sit back and enjoy the moments when their long history manifests itself, and spend the rest of my time forging the bonds of the newer friendship I'm building with both of them now.

Amazing what can happen when I get out of my own way, isn't it?

Movie Mon - Craftiness

2009-03-02T13:23:00.000-06:00

Haven't really watched a whole lot recently but here are a few brief reviews.

Friday the 13th: Franchise reboot that features a slightly craftier* version of everyone's favorite hockey-mask-clad slasher. Enjoyable enough slasher film; definitely a step above several of the previous installments in the series -- I'm looking at you New Beginning and Jason Takes Manhattan! -- but not one I foresee becoming a "classic" in its own right. Still, it will hold a special place in my heart for the deaths of the couple out water-skiing; both of their demises had Li'l Random and me about to fall out of our seats laughing. Doubt that was the director's intent, but oh well.

Blindness: Allegory about a nameless country which is overrun by an inexplicable plague of blindness, with the focus on several of the first people infected who are quarantined in an abandoned asylum which becomes packed to the gills as the epidemic spreads. Did not like this one at all; I can understand why it got good marks from critics, since it was very effective in achieving the effects it wanted to achieve. But while I can appreciate what they were going for with the film, the crumbling of society and its resultant thievery, violence, and rape were not things I enjoyed watching. While I may be a fan of the dark and twisty, I prefer my dark and twistiness to be either more subtle or more humorous; the stark brutality of Blindness made it a tough pill to swallow. Again, can appreciate the craftsmanship of the film, but doesn't mean I ever want to see it again.

Choke: Adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's novel about a sex addict (Sam Rockwell) who scams people in restaurants by pretending to choke to death in order to raise money to pay for his delusional mother (Anjelica Huston)'s hospital fees. I had expected to like this one, what with its dark and twisty nature, but somehow the different plot elements never fully gelled for me. My favorite moments all revolved around Huston's character, both in her delusional present, and even moreso in the flashbacks to her younger days and questionable parenting skills.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley: Ho-hum horror flick about a girl who transfers to a new school after her mother goes crazy and tries to kill her, only to soon start hearing voices and seeing things as well. Really not worth the time it would take to critique it; I say give it a pass.

Sex Drive: Teensploitation film about a geeky virgin who goes on a quest to hook up with a girl he met online. Even as teen sex comedies go, this one was pretty bland; there were some amusing bits here and there (the bizarrely over-confident Randy and Andy, James Marsden as the violent older brother) but over all, I was pretty bored throughout most of it.

*Crafty as in sneaky intelligence, and not crafty as in "Oh, look at the nice macrame owl I made in Arts & Crafts." An understandable mistake, since Camp Crystal Lake is known for its macrame owls, ranks right up there with their high body count.

Of Bro Codes and Buttkickings; or "An Evening With PigPen and Peanut"

2009-02-28T22:11:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from The Lovable PigPen asking if I could take off work a bit early on the following Friday afternoon to pick him up from the airport after his return from a business trip. To make it worth my while he offered to buy my lunch and pay for a day pass at his and Cap'n Peanut's gym so that I could work out with them and play some racquetball. Never one to pass up free food and an excuse to take off of work, I quickly agreed; of course, the fact that I don't get to hang out with PigPen too often anymore, and hadn't played racquetball with him since a couple of months before he broke my finger might have had a little bit to do with it.

I got to the airport about 10 minutes before his flight was scheduled to land, which turned out to be excellent timing, as his flight was about 10 minutes early. I was standing by the baggage claim that had been indicated online when I saw PigPen walking out, looking around; he looked right through me and turned to walk the opposite direction. I of course did the only logical thing; sped walk to catch up to him and invade his personal space so that he almost spun around and decked me. When he realized it was me and didn't give me crap for coming up on him like that, I knew something was distracting him. Turns out as soon as his plane landed and he turned on his work Blackberry, he had a ton of missed calls. You see, although he had been out of town on company business all week, he had also been primary on-call all week, and so didn't get a full night's sleep all night from dealing with calls. And, of course, while he was on the flight, some major technical issues sprang up, the end result of which was that his planned afternoon off went up in smoke; bummer for me, who had been looking forward to hanging out with him, and double-bummer for him who had been looking forward to being able to escape from work stuff for an afternoon.

We stopped to get a quick bite to eat at KFC, and then swung by his place so he could grab his car. Luckily, Cap'n Peanut was home, so I hung out with him while waiting for PigPen to get back from work. Well, except for the hour where Peanut had an appointment, during which time I sat around reading their copy of The Bro Code by Barney Stinson*; not surprisingly, I discovered that I am a frequent code violator, but was more than pleased to note that Peanut had a couple of infractions under his belt as well. Anyway, PigPen was finally able to escape from work, and by the time all was said and done, we made it to the gym probably close to 7pm.

It was at this point that Peanut and PigPen tried to kill me.**

Okay, so maybe, that's a bit of an exaggeration; really, they just tried to make my arms and legs fall off with a work-out far beyond my meager capabilities. I would periodically inform workout mastermind Peanut of my intense loathing of him, and how I would do him great bodily harm if I were actually still capable of moving any of my limbs. After they finished breaking my spirit with the workout from hell, we headed to the racquetball courts.

I managed to beat Peanut in my first game***, but had a brief fear of being shut-out by PigPen when he broke out into an impressive lead early on in our first game; I told them afterwards that if he had managed to shut me out after not playing for over a year and a half when I had been playing with Trouble for the last month or two, I would have just walked back to their apartment and then driven off into the night, vanishing along with my dignity. Luckily, this was not necessary, as I finally got my head in the game enough to stage a minor comeback. Not enough to beat him, of course, but enough to keep me from feeling like a total screwup. We kept playing until the gym shut down at 10, at which point we finally picked up some dinner and headed back to their place.

Before we had gone to the gym, Peanut had been giving PigPen a hard time about the previous weekend, when they had stayed up late reliving their college days by playing Tekken 3, during which time Peanut had managed to rack up quite a few more wins than PigPen. After all the trash talking, PigPen of course had no choice but to instigate a rematch. And while it apparently wasn't as one-sided as their previous all-nighter had been, Peanut was still turning out to be a bit more on his game than PigPen, a fact that frustrated the always competitive PigPen to no end. At one point, Peanut handed me his controller while he went to get something to drink, and so after getting my butt kicked by the workout and again in racquetball, I received my third butt-kicking of the evening as PigPen mercilessly took out his aggressions on my poor electronic avatars -- poor because they were being guided by someone who had never played any version of Tekken before and being attacked by someone who had devoted countless hours to learning all the nuances of the game. After several games in which I was barely able to lay a virtual hand on PigPen, I passed the controller back to Peanut with great relief.

One of the features of the Versus mode of Tekken 3 is that it keeps a running tally of how many wins each player has, making it easy to keep track of just how far ahead Peanut was. This lead to the following exchange:

PigPen: "Man, I can't believe Peanut is up on me 13 games."
Me: "Actually, if you subtract the wins you had against me, it's more like 17 games."
PigPen: "Shut up, Todd!"

This exchange was repeated several times over the next hour, with each iteration leading to a more forceful tone of voice from PigPen, as well as threats of physical violence. And so it was that my smart mouth lead to my 4th and final butt-kicking of the evening, as PigPen followed up on his threats and engaged me in our first sparring match since the night he moved out 6 months previously. And while the part of me that had missed our semi-regular grappling matches was pleased, the part of me that was so worn out from the workouts and racquetball that it couldn't move its arms and legs was less so.

By the time my hosts had decided they were ready to call it quits, it was around 4AM. I crashed on their couch, and managed probably three or four hours of sleep before I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I just laid there on the couch waiting for the others to get up. Eventually they both emerged from their respective rooms, and Peanut called out for pizza for lunch. After we ate, Peanut and PigPen headed to Era to pick up a table from Peanut's parents, and I headed back to my place. I was sore from the workout, but both of my tormentors, I mean, friends, assured me that it would be even worse the next day. However, after a brief chat with my mom when I got home, my sleep deprivation caught up with me, and I crashed for several hours, waking up 30 minutes before I was supposed to head to Cap'n Bubbles' birthday party with a massive headache and even more massive pain in my limbs; apparently, my body had taken my three hour nap as a signal to move into second-day-soreness mode. The upside, of course, was that although I wound up having to beg off the party, I got most all of the discomfort out of the way on Saturday, and felt pretty good on Sunday.

To recap: initial plans scrapped, received massive butt kickings at everything I attempted, and wound up feeling pretty miserable the following day. Factor in the fact that I got to experience all of the above while hanging out with two of my best buds who I don't get to see nearly often enough since they moved to Lewisville, and I'd have to say that on the whole it turned out to be one of the best weekends I've had in a while.

Even if the bastages did try to kill me.

*Pretty entertaining little book; I'm tempted to purchase the audiobook version which is read by NPH in character.
**While never explicitly spelled out, I can't help but feel like attempted homicide flies in the face of the Bro Code
***A fact that I would be much more willing to brag about if it weren't for the fact that that night was Peanut's first time to play racquetball ever, and my win was not by a very impressive margin. Cursed athletic, coordinated people, making me look bad!

Another 25 Random Things - The Wyandotte Edition

2009-02-15T10:57:00.000-06:00

Well, since Flunky Lover complained that my last list of random things wasn't anything she didn't already know, I figured I'd try to come up with another list that might be more enlightening, focusing on my pre-collegiate years.

1. I never really skipped school because (a) I was a bit of a goody two-shoes -- okay, a MAJOR goody two-shoes -- and (b) I knew that if I had skipped, my mom would have found out about it very quickly, and that would have been that. About the closest I ever came to skipping was when a group of us were heading to Miami to compete in an Academic Bowl. We were just getting ready to get in the car when someone came running out to say that there had been a mistake, and we weren't really supposed to leave for another couple of hours. We all looked at each other, yelled back "tell them you missed us," hopped in the car, and headed to NEO, where we feigned ignorance and goofed off in the Student Union for a couple of hours.

2. I have not always bled Orange and Black; in my younger days, I was raised in a very Sooner-friendly household. It wasn't until I got to go to OSU to play at a half-time show for High School Band Day that I began to see the light. Getting to sit right next to the OSU band and get caught up in the energy and excitement of the game made a huge impact on my appreciation for the school; it makes me ashamed to know that the first thing I did upon putting together my saxophone earlier that day was play "Boomer Sooner" and laugh about it -- so, so ashamed.

3. When it comes to Christmas tree toppings, I have always preferred stars to angels. For ages, we had a very funky, art deco-ish star that graced the top of tree after tree, and despite it becoming worn down, beat up, and faded, I loved that ugly, ugly, ugs-in-the-ugly thing. So, when mom tried replacing it with an angel, I objected. And while I personally don't remember saying the following, my mom will never let me live down the fact that my objection apparently came by way of me complaining that I didn't want to see an angel with a tree up its butt.

4. When it comes to social situations, I am almost always early, sometimes to the point of having to sit outside in my car and wait for it to get close enough to the prescribed arrival time for me to go in. There's a lot of factors involved (fear of getting lost, fear of missing out on stuff), but a lot of it comes from the fact that mom and dad were always very lackadaisical about such things. "Oh, don't worry the bus won't leave without you," mom once said to me as we were running late to drop me off for a TSA trip; she, however, was wrong, as the bus was pulling away from the school as we drove up. After that I became much more insistent about being early, which actually earned me the "Early Bird Award" at Speech Camp that following summer.

5. Speech Camp was not exactly the most thrilling time of my life, and outside of finding a new creepy prose piece to replace "The October Game" and discovering that Extemporaneous Speaking wasn't as bad as I'd thought and was a prime way of meeting Mrs. Sharbutt's "you must compete in 3 events at each tournament" rule without actually having to prepare more material, most of the time we spent there consisted of us finding other ways to entertain ourselves. The one that sticks out the most was our compilation of a list of movies with one word titles, a list I became somewhat obsessed with and fixated on as I'm wont to do, working on it at home as well, a fact that earned me strange looks and derision from others when I mentioned it; of course, they also didn't understand why I insisted on disqualifying films for having initial articles or a subtitle. Yes, I was that anal.

6. Going along with that whole "goody-two-shoes" thing, I rarely if ever cussed when I was younger, but by the time I had gotten to Jr. High I had settled into the mind-set that most curse words were really just frowned upon because of social mores and not for any inherent evil in the words themselves; I still avoided using them because I knew I'd get in trouble, but not out of any inner distaste at the language. So, when one of my classmates dared me to say a curse word and I did with little to no hesitation, she was both startled and entertained, and soon made a game out of it, randomly turning to me and saying "Hey, Todd . . . say [expletive deleted]." I would good-naturedly roll my eyes and comply. The only exception: taking the Lord's name in vain. Even during my moderately foul-mouthed college years, I might not hesitate to drop an f-bomb from time to time, but nary a g.d. would pass my lips.

7. The same classmate who delighted in getting me to cuss later on declared that she was going to marry me when we grew up because she knew I'd be successful, a promise that she made sure to include while signing my yearbook. However, I was not going to be her first husband; no, she also planned to marry Troy Aikman first, but would leave him for me at some point. Later on, she also added another one of my classmates to the list, bumping me back to husband number three; my mom informed her that she didn't know about letting her baby boy be third on the list, to which my erstwhile future spouse replied "Oh, don't worry Mrs. Enoch, I'll save myself for him; I'm practically president of the V Club!." Later, when she found out I was majoring in English, the promises of matrimony disappeared . . .

8. Up until some point in high school I was pretty sheltered and naive about quite a few things; I can't count how many times somebody would make a sexual innuendo and I wouldn't have the foggiest idea what they were talking about, often putting my foot in my mouth. The odd thing is, my parents did not consciously shelter me; if I came up to them and asked "What does so-and-so mean?" they would freely answer me. At least a couple of times, even they were surprised by how little I knew . . .

9. I have never really enjoyed being in a leadership position in any organization; honestly, most of the times I ran for an office it was because I felt like it was expected of me. If I wasn't the most lackluster Student Council president Wyandotte had ever seen, I was probably pretty high up the list. I guess most people just didn't realize that I was just a slacker at heart. Which is not to say that me getting beat out for an office was a relief; I hated losing regardless of whether I really wanted it or not.

10. The Student Council state convention was always interesting because you wound up staying at a host family's house. It got even more interesting my Senior year, when my host family was Asian, and another StuCo attendee and I got dragged along to the restaurant owned by the host family because it was the grandmother's birthday; however, being white devils, we were not allowed at the party itself, and so were stuck at a little table on the other side of the restaurant. On the up side, that's when I learned I liked shrimp tempura . . .

11. I did not get my drivers license until after I'd been away at college for a couple of years. To be honest, the biggest reason why I didn't try to learn to drive was because I'd convinced myself I was too uncoordinated and lacking of spatial sense to handle a motor vehicle and would probably kill myself if I ever tried. While this put a definite crimp in my social life, it worked to my advantage at the aforementioned StuCo state convention, when the kid whose family we were staying with tried to drag us to a drunken party and wanted me to be designated driver. If I had just tried to play the "I"m a goody-two-shoes, uncomfortable with going to a drunken party, and really don't want to navigate my way around the big city at night carting around a couple of inebriated underagers" card, the debate might have lasted for ages, but saying that I didn't have a license put it to bed pretty quickly. He wasn't all that friendly to me after that, for some reason.

12. For most of my life, my parents have been pretty hands off when it comes to my decisions about what avenues to pursue, not wanting to become those pushy parents who try to live vicariously through their children. So, there are only two times when I can remember my mom forcing me to join an organization: 4-H in 4th grade and TSA in 8th. They both turned out to be great moves for me, as 4-H helped me discover my knack for public speaking, and TSA expanded on that knack, gave me the opportunity to travel places I might never have otherwise, and also helped me break out of my shell. In retrospect, maybe they should have been pushy a little more often . . .

13. My first year in 4-H, our chapter did a circus themed skit for the local Share-the-Fun. My role was that of a hyper-active poodle whose trainer finally cries out in exasperation "get down!" . . . at which point, I would start to boogie-oogie-oogie on down off the stage. However, when it came time for us to come on stage, the Ringmaster's index cards stuck together, and he skipped right over our intro and we never got to go on stage. While I was pretty upset at the time, in retrospect I should probably thank Brandon for saving me from humiliating myself in public like that.

14. My Senior year I took two classes as independent study because the times of the actual classes conflicted with two other classes I really wanted to take. The two independent study classes where Chemistry, which I took at the same time as the Physics class, and Geometry, which I took at the same time as an Algebra I class. For Chemistry, I was pretty much a part of the actual Physics class, for which I will be eternally grateful, because watching my classmates do their best to drive Coach Crowley to distraction was endlessly entertaining. But for Geometry I was segregated to the computer room attached to the main math class room, for which I will be eternally grateful, because it meant that I was able to goof off endlessly when I was supposed to be hard at work, especially since the teacher didn't give me any assignments to hand in, trusting that I would work all the problems because I was a good little over-achiever. Again; people really didn't pick up on that whole "inner slacker' thing.

15. I still remember the first time I saw one of those 3-d hidden pictures; it was the afternoon of Senior Day at North Eastern Oklahoma A&M. After we got done, we weren't expected to go back to school, so some of us decided to head to Joplin to the mall. Somehow I wound up going with Regan and Craig, which was a little odd since none of us ever really hung out with each other; can't remember how that grouping got formed. Anyway, while we were roaming around the mall we came across a display of one of the pictures at Off the Wall, I believe. Later, when I watched Mallrats, I would greatly identify with Willam's dogged determination to see the picture. When it finally clicked, I was treated to a collection of dinosaurs. I don't remember if I saw it first, or if Regan did; I just remember that Craig was having a devil of a time getting the hang of it and we burned a lot of time because he refused to leave until he finally saw something.

16. In 12 years of attending school at Wyandotte, I never once ate cafeteria food for lunch. In the beginning, this was a product of my extreme pickiness as a child; as I grew older, it became a strange and twisted point of pride. The day after Freshman graduation when I could finally walk uptown to Butterfield's and get my own burger instead of having to rope some upperclassman into it was a grand, grand day.

17. Going back to the goody-two-shoes thing again-- that does seem to pop up a lot in my youth, doesn't it? -- I also made it through my entire scholastic career without getting swats. Which is not to say I never got in trouble; I did get detention and have to write sentences once in a while, but I never acted up enough to warrant swats -- much to the dismay of Mr. Phillips, my 7th and 8th grade history teacher, who sort of prided himself on being able to provoke students into acting out so he could give them swats; he once complained to my mom that I refused to rise to his bait. I'll never forget the day he told one of my classmates "Travis, you laugh like a little girl," and Travis replied "Yeah, well, you laugh like a pig." Boom, swat time.

18. Not too long before starting kindergarten, I misheard something someone said about the playground at the school and the slides and concrete; I thought that instead of "concrete" they had said "some creek," and so I was freaked out about going there, because all of the slides would be in the middle of the water, and you'd have to swim to them, and I couldn't swim.

19. Because we can't hit the goody-two-shoes theme too many times: I was so incredibly worried about not breaking rules that I would occasionally drive me parents to distraction. When I was about 6 or 7 we were over at my Papaw's house and he had some cinnamon schnapps which he let dad try; dad only took a sip, but I freaked out, because he was the one who was going to drive me home and, y'know, he'd been drinking. Another time mom and dad had to change plans and drop me off at Papaw's instead of taking me to the movies with them because I had realized the movie they were going to take me to was rated R, and I knew I was far too young to see anything like that.

20. The day I realized I was going to have to get glasses was one of the worst days of my young life. I was in Jr. High, and trying desperately -- without much success, may I add -- to "reinvent" myself, break out of that "super-nerd" mold I'd been stuck in forever. The thought of suddenly becoming a Four Eyes tore me up, even though in all my years I had never heard anyone at my school actually being taunted for their eye-wear. Of course, my very first day at school with my glasses, one of my classmates who shall remain nameless saw me in the halls and loudly made a crack along the lines of how funny it was that "Mr. Perfect" -- his words, not mine, trust me -- had to wear glasses now; just the sort of positive reinforcement my young neurotic self needed, no?

21. I remember sitting on the band bus in the 9th grade on the way to an away football game and hearing all of the upperclassmen spouting such bizarre phrases as "A sphincter says what?" and "Schwing!" which made me very curious to check out this "Wayne's World" thing everyone was so into. And thus began my love affair with early 90s Saturday Night Live, which was pretty much my first ever "water cooler" show -- or water fountain, as the case may be. Although my tastes might not have always been in step with my schoolmates -- I couldn't understand why everyone was talking about that first Chicago Superfans skit the next day at school when it hadn't even made me chuckle at all -- my discovery of that iteration of SNL gave me more of a consistent conversational common ground with the people around me than pretty much anything else had ever. A shallow connection, perhaps, but socially backward teen Todd was thankful for any crutch he could grab on to.

22. When I was in 7th grade, our school had a policy of having an Exemption Day for semester tests for students with high enough grades and attendance; despite having the highest GPA in my class, and hardly ever missing school, paranoid, worst-case-scenario neurotic that I was I would never allow myself to believe that I was actually going to be exempt until the list was actually announced. I know on at least one occasion this earned me the enmity of most of my classmates when one teacher asked everyone who was going to be exempt to raise their hands, and I wouldn't do it. I'm not sure if my classmates thought I was showing false modesty, trying for attention, or just being incredibly stupid for a smart kid, but I can clearly remember the rancor in their voices as they cajoled me "come on, Todd, put your hand up, you now you're going to be exempt, just put your hand up, stop being stupid, just put your hand up already!" But in my mind, Murphy's Law was paramount, so I remained steadfast. And I wonder why I wasn't more popular . . .

23. During recess in elementary school,when my friends were playing basketball, I would avoid getting drawn into the actual game, and would instead pretend that I was a sports reporter, trying to interview them about the game in progress. Man, was I a colossal dork.

24. My sophomore year our class decided to do a walk-a-thon as a fund raiser for some reason; however, the day we were scheduled to do it happened to be incredibly rainy, so instead of walking around the track as originally planned, we instead walked around the Old Gym. To help pass the time, someone decided to play some music; however, they only had one tape available: Vanilla Ice's "To the Extreme." Not sure how many times I got to hear Mr. Van Winkle's magnum opus that day, but let's just say that there's a good reason why, even though I have never listened to that album all the way through anytime before or since then, I will still randomly get the chorus to "Stop That Train (I Want to Get Off)" stuck in my head.

25. My graduating class had quite a reputation; okay, so we had several. A reputation for running off math teachers; a reputation for steadily losing members so that our Senior graduating class was just a fraction of our Freshman graduating class; a reputation for intense slackerdom and internal strife. I can only remember the class as a whole pulling together one time, and that was our Junior year, when word came that the Seniors were convinced that we were going to throw them a horrible prom; the common joke was that we were going to have it at Farley Hill, and the banquet would just be a wiener roast. For some reason, this particular bit of derision galvanized my classmates, and we set out to throw the Seniors pretty much the same prom they had thrown the year before, raising enough money to hold it on the Cherokee Queen. In retrospect, maybe people should have ticked us off more often, who knows what we could have accomplished . . .

Fragmented Friday - Ulterior Smile

2009-02-12T03:39:00.000-06:00

Was getting ready to type up a Fragmented Friday post when I noticed that there was one saved in my drafts which I had started last November, before NaNoWriMo derailed my blogging but good. So, first, some old stories from before Cap'n Shack-Fu set off to Quantico.

One weekend Shack-Fu, Li'l Random and I got together for dinner and a movie. At one point during our meal -- which was shockingly not at Texas Roadhouse -- Shack left himself wide open for a crack at his expense, and I took full advantage of it. As Shack gave me the menacing death glare, Li'l Random began to laugh; Shack quickly turned the glare in Li'l Brother's direction and asked "What are you laughing at?" Random replied "Oh, I just took a bite of my sandwich, and the lettuce tickled." He then quickly took another bite, let out a little tee-hee and said "Look, there it goes again."
A little while later during the same meal, Li'l Brother got a funny little grin on his face as Shack-Fu and I were having some more back-and-forth, prompting Shack to ask what he was smiling about. Li'l Brother asked "What, I can't smile now?" My response was that it was obviously an ulterior smile.
Another time a week or so later, the three of us were eating at Texas Roadhouse -- I know, how unlike us, right? We wound up with a waitress who had not had the pleasure of serving us before, nor had her co-workers warned her about the joys of dealing with a trio of HyperForce 3000ers. Li'l Random almost blew her brain with his randomness, but she got her revenge - albeit inadvertent - a bit later. First she asked Shack-Fu if he was a preacher -- "You just give off that kind of vibe," quoth she -- and when he told her that actually he and Li'l Brother worked together, she expressed disbelief, stating that she had been sure Li'l Babyface was only 16.

And now for a few more recent things

Let's start with a more up-to-date Shack-Fu tidbit; my best bud has received his orders for his first assignment after the academy. For his first two years as an agent, Shack will be working out of Tulsa, OK. While he had been hoping for an OKC assignment, due to it being closer to friends and family, Tulsa really isn't that much farther away. Sure, the extra two hours distance will mean the day trips to visit aren't quite as feasible, but at least he'll be close enough that we won't need air fare to make a quick visit possible.
For the first time in my life, I completed my tax return before April. Part of this whole "trying to be organized" thing I'm trying out. We'll see how long that lasts
Hand in hand with my move towards organization is my New Years resolution to start eating better and exercising regularly in an effort to lose some weight. Okay, not just some weight; a lot of weight. So far, it's going well. I'm working out at least 5 times a week, even without Cap'n Shack-Fu around to drag me off my butt; I've been fixing my own meals at home rather than succumbing to my fast food cravings; and, most impressively to some, I have cut down my Coca-cola intake to one day a week. I'm finding it much easier to stick to the diet now that I'm living alone and don't have to worry about tempting food brought in by my roomies. I'm also being much more open about my attempt than I have in the past; I used to tell very few people, because I was afraid of failing, but now I figure that the more people who know, the more accountability there is. My initial goal is to lose 40 lbs; I'm already a little over 1/3 of the way there.
A few days ago I posted a few pictures from high school on Facebook; being from the early 90s, there were many examples of female hairdos that defied the laws of physics. For some reason, some of these females weren't exactly happy to have their early stylistic choices put on view for all Facebook to see. And thus began a wave of photos being posted online in what I like to call The Nostalgia Wars; at this moment, Redneck Diva seems to be the clear winner, armed as she is with a range of Student Council, Band, and Competitive Speech photos, but it's early days yet in the war; early days*.
Zinger posited the other day that the reason for the lack of blogging was because my life is so much more boring now that I'm living alone. I do think that's part of it; life without day-to-day interaction with The Lovable PigPen is definitely not as interesting, although it might be slightly healthier for my ego. And with Cap'n Shack-Fu at Quantico, and Li'l Brother travelling with work, most of the sources for good blog fodder just aren't as handy as they once were. But the recent Wyandottian explosion on Facebook is stirring up the high school memories like crazy, so there may be some more nostalgia-laden posts from that as well.

*Sadly, I don't have much more ammo in my arsenal, having lost a ton of pictures when our house burned down years ago

TV Tuesday - Schedule's Filling Up Again

2009-01-27T08:31:00.000-06:00

As February approaches, returning shows and mid-season premieres are making my viewing schedule a bit packed; may have to start cutting a few things soon. Although, if I ever get around to getting a TV for my living room that might help, as I could at least have something going while I'm working out.

THE WEEK THAT WAS

TUESDAY, January 20

Fringe (Fox, 8:00): Glad this one is back. Was good to see Olivia kicking major butt. I was glad that she stood up to the jerk with the vendetta against her; him standing in her way for no reason was going to get old real fast.

Privileged (CW, 8:00): One of the better episodes they've had of late, but not sure it was enough to keep it from the chopping block for me.

WEDNESDAY, January 21

Lost (ABC, 7:00-10:00): Loved it, very excited to see where exactly this season is headed. It made me want to go back and rewatch the Desmond-centric episodes about his time travels again.

THURSDAY, January 22

My Name is Earl (NBC, 7:00): Was very glad to see the return of Estrada or Nada. Lots of good stuff in this one, most all of it centering around Joy, whether it was her proving that she was indeed an Estrada, or her diving into her witness protection identity.

The Office (NBC, 8:00): The Dwight/Michael story had its moments, especially the chase for the contact info, but the real highlight of the episode was the on-going "Hot or Not?" debate; wonder what Hilary Swank thought of it?

30 Rock (NBC 8:30): Like with The Office, it wasn't the A storyline of Jack and Liz at the retreat that entertained me the most, it was the Jenna/Frank and Tracey/Kenneth storylines. The Wikipedia bit was priceless, up to and including the "Janis Joplin eats kittens" moment.

Grey's Anatomy (ABC 8:00): The best part of the episode was Christina and Meredith finally coming together again . . . that and the sign that the silly Izzy/Dead Denny story is about to move on to its inevitable "Izzy's sick" conclusion.

Private Practice (ABC 9:00): It's always a bad sign when your least favorite character on a show is the one who's supposed to be the main focus, isn't it? And I think they've just about done the "Dell lets his emotions cloud his judgement" story a few too many times. Once the crossover with Grey's is done, I'll be re-evaluating this one's spot on my viewing roster.

Burn Notice (USA 9:00): Love this show with a bloody passion; watched most of the second season in one day. Think my favorite episode was the one where Michael played a geeky scientist -- that was a lot of fun to watch. Great writing and great ensemble. If you're not watching this one, you're missing out.

FRIDAY, January 23

Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network, 7:00): Was so nice to see Ted Kord treated with respect; his death in the comics was such a waste, at least the show made it a meaningful sacrifice. Plus, the writers always seem to do their best work when the focus is on the Jaime Reyes Beetle; I'd love it if they were able to spin him off into his own show.

Wolverine and the X-Men (Nicktoons, 7:00): A pretty entertaining new take on the X-men, filled with little touches for long-time fans. Its continuity seems to borrow from several different iterations, from the regular books to the movies to X-Men: Evolution to Ultimate X-Men. Was nice to see Rockslide and Dust pop up; kinda looking forward to seeing Pixie.

Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9:00): I just don't enjoy the show nearly as much when its focus is primarily on the humans; not a bad episode, but I'd rather get a closer look at the inner workings of the Cylon culture. Plus, Mr. Gaeta has started to grate on my nerves more and more.

Psych (USA, 9:00): Not much to say about the "arsassin" episode other than I'm glad to have this show back on my regular viewing schedule.

SATURDAY, January 24

Meadowlands (Showtime Beyond, 2:00 AM): At this point, all I'm hoping is that the big mysteries of the show get resolved by the end.

SUNDAY, January 25

Flight of the Conchords (HBO, 9:00): Although the songs were better in this ep than in the last, it's still not quite living up to the first season for me.

United States of Tara (Showtime, 9:00): Two episodes in, and I'm still enjoying it.

MONDAY, January 26

Trusts Me (TNT, 9:00): So far, so good; Thomas Cavanagh does his usual thing, which is a positive, and I like the main female lead with all of her borderline anti-social quirks. I'm just hoping that they don't revisit the "Connor is jealous of Mason's promotion" idea too often; I'd much rather see the two of them work together in synch than be at each other's throats.

THE WEEK TO COME

TUESDAY, January 27

Fringe (Fox, 8:00): The team investigates a phenomenon that literally melts people's brains.

Scrubs (ABC, 8:00): Two episodes back to back again, one of which answers the question of who will take over the vacant chief of medicine position, as well as the fallout of J.D. and Elliot's rekindled relationship.

WEDNESDAY, January 28

Lost (ABC, 7:00-10:00): A focus on Desmond's search for Faraday's mother.

THURSDAY, January 29

Private Practice (ABC 9:00): Addison's brother returns, and Violet talks to the two potential fathers of her child.

Burn Notice(USA 9:00): Michael helps a football coach concerned for one of his players.

FRIDAY, January 30

Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network, 7:00): The Atom and Aquaman do their own riff on Fantastic Voyage, shrinking down and travelling inside a poisoned Batman.

Wolverine and the X-Men (Nicktoons, 7:00): The third part of the introductory storyline introduces Emma Frost to the team.

Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9:00): Mutiny on the Galactica.

Psych (USA, 9:00): Shawn and Gus sign up for training camp for a pro football team. Yeah, that can only end well.

SATURDAY, January 31

Meadowlands (Showtime Beyond, 2:00 AM): Jack's body turns up, and the investigation begins anew.

SUNDAY, February 1

Wipeout (ABC, Superbowl halftime): The biggest break-out hit of the summer returns with a special football themed "cheerleaders vs. couch potatoes" episode which will be shown during halftime of the Super Bowl.

The Office (NBC, post-Super Bowl): Michael tries to get the office crew to relax.

Flight of the Conchords (HBO, 9:00): Bret tries to form his own gang

United States of Tara (Showtime, 9:00): Tara's date night goes awry when Buck comes to the forefront.

MONDAY, February 2

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 7:00): Sheldon's actions lead to a confrontation between Leonard and one of Penny's musclebound exes.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS 7:30): Robin needs a job to keep from getting deported back to Canada, and agrees to let Barney produce her video resume.

Chuck (NBC, 7:00): Chuck save a rock star

Two and a Half Men (CBS 8:00): Alan's receptionist/girlfriend invites him to move in with her and her stoner mother.

Heroes (NBC 8:00): Chapter 4, "Fugitives" begins as Hiro tries to train Ando, Claire stumbles onto Project Wideawake, I mean, Nathan's plot, and Sylar starts the search for his real father.

Trust Me (TNT, 9:00): The client decides they hate the tagline, and the team scrambles to come up with a new one to keep the account.

Movie Mon - Return of the Odd Squodd Movie Night

2009-01-26T11:10:00.000-06:00

City of Ember: Entertaining post-apocalyptic family film -- yes, that's right, a post-apocalyptic family film -- about the remnants of humanity who live in an underground city which is starting to fall apart around them, and a couple of teens who think they've discovered the secret to their society's salvation. The trailers for this one were a little iffy for me, but the movie itself turned out to be enjoyable.

Amusement: Okay horror movie that follows three girls who had been friends in high school who find themselves the targets of horrific happenings.. The structure is interesting, as each girl's initial encounter is presented as a self-contained tale until they all dovetail at the end. Unfortunately, I found it at its most engaging when it felt more like a classic portmanteau horror film; once it actually brought all the threads together, it lost a bit of steam.

Repo! The Genetic Opera: Dark and twisty musical about a future where organ failure has become a common problem, and one company has become the leading force in organ replacement surgeries, even offering payment plans, but with a catch: if someone misses a payment, they get hunted down by the murderous RepoMan (Anthony Steward Head, a.k.a. Giles from Buffy) who repossess the organs in question. This was the selection for last Thursday's Odd Squodd Movie Night because, on the face of it, this sounds like our sort of movie, right? Bizarre plot, lots of horror-tinged themes, and people singing about it, headlined by a former Buffy star . . . should have been a home run, right? Not quite. My biggest quibble was the music; it's set up like an opera in that the bulk of the dialogue is sung, but in the majority of the cases there is no internal rhyme scheme, or consistent meter, or coherent musical structure; instead, it's often like they just wrote the script, started playing their electric guitars, and told the people to start singing. My love of a musical is largely tied into clever wordplay and catchy/memorable songs; in Repo! there were really only two songs that made any sort of positive impact on me, everything else fell flat. Interestingly enough, those were also the only two songs I had heard before I saw the film, so I probably had unrealistic expectations about the nature of the soundtrack. Li'l Random enjoyed it more than I did, but then again he's much less of a musical snob than I am. Outside of the music, the film had quite a bit going for it, in an Odd Squodd sort of way, but I just had trouble getting into it.

Ghost Town: Surprisingly enjoyable romantic comedy about a misanthropic dentist (Ricky Gervais) who briefly dies during a routine medical procedure and gains the ability to see ghosts, one of whom enlists him in trying to break up the dead man's widow and her current beau. I was unsure about this one going in because Ricky Gervais is very hit or miss with me, but it actually turned out to be a pretty funny movie with only one or two parts that made me squirm in uncomfortableness.

Savage Grace: A dramatization of the true life murder of Barbara Baekeland (Julianne Moore) by her mentally unbalanced son Tony, with the film chronicling the strange family dynamics from the time of Tony's birth. A well acted film, but not one I particularly enjoyed, even before it veered into incest.

Mirrors: Horror film about an alcoholic former cop (Kiefer Sutherland) who takes a job as a security guard at an abandoned building and finds himself being haunted by a force that attacks through mirrors. Pretty entertaining horror flick, although the strained dynamic between Kiefer's character and his estranged wife got a little tiresome.

Disaster Movie: A spoof film brought to you by the same team as Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie; as such, the film relies mainly on the "pop culture parody overload" theory of comedy. Seriously, while talking to a co-worker about it, I was able to think of 30 separate pop culture references crammed into it, and out of those I'd say maybe a fifth were actual disaster movies. As with most of the slate of spoofs that have flourished since Scary Movie, the sheer number of jokes they cram in will usually result in at least a couple hitting; for me, this one had a higher hit-to-miss ration than usual, most of the successful comedy bits revolving out of the spoof of Amy Adams' character in Enchanted, who turns out not to be a princess from a fairy tale world, but a delusional homeless woman living in the sewers. Pretty much any scene with her in it cracked me up.

The Dead One: Supernatural super-hero tale about a young man who has been chosen to serve as a catalyst for the return of the Aztec gods, but who struggles against their compulsions in order to save the woman he loves. Based on the comic book El Muerto: The Aztec Zombie, this indie film may have had a shoe-string budget, but turned out to be pretty enjoyable overall.

Death Race: Surprisingly well-put together futuristic action film about a man who has been framed for murder in order to bring him in as a driver for a race where the drivers are criminals, the cars are equipped with live ammo, and the grand prize is freedom. Predictable to be sure, but somehow it never felt cliched to me. Some nice action sequences.

Traitor: Well done thriller about a man infiltrating an Islamic terrorist group. Pretty solid little film; it was interesting to see Don Cheadle kicking butt, and I especially liked the way he thwarted the big bombing plan at the end -- took me by surprise. This was another film where I found myself scrutinizing the depiction of FBI agents; it really is odd how sensitive I've become to that since Cap'n Shack-Fu headed off to the academy. Guy Pierce's character passed the "doing the FBI proud" test; Neal McDonough, however, fell a bit short with his lacking interrogation skills.

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising: Adaptation of the second volume of Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising series of books about the battle between the forces of good and evil; in this case, the battle is centered around Will Stanton, the 7th son of a 7th son who is prophesied to lead the forces to light to victory over the rising dark. I enjoyed the film the most in its earlier parts when it focuses on Will dealing with his very large family; as the fantasy elements rose to prominence, the film seemed to lose its way. Not a bad film, but I couldn't help feeling like it squandered its potential.

TV Tuesday - One More Day Till Lost! One More Day Till Lost!

2009-01-20T03:21:00.000-06:00

THE WEEK THAT WAS

TUESDAY, January 13

Scrubs (ABC, 8:00 & 8:30): Man oh man am I glad that Courtney Cox's character is gone; didn't care for her at all. Not quite so glad to see Elliott and JD doing the relationship tango yet again; at least since this is Zach Braff's last season regardless they'll finally resolve the issue once and for all.

Privileged (CW, 8:00): I just realized this week that when everything is new again, this show will be on up against Scrubs and Fringe; in other words, so long, Privileged, it was nice knowing you, but you squandered what good will I had invested in you by making Megan unbearably self-righteous at all times.

THURSDAY, January 15

Smallville (CW, 7:00): I won't say much about the ep, since Bubblegum Tate hasn't seen it yet, but I will say that I had some minor quibbles with the direction they took the Legion, but that it was all worth it to see The Persuader swing his Atomic Axe, hear Garth say "grife" and "sprock", hear Rokk make a Subs joke, and see the Legion flight rings in action. Plus, it actually made me wish that I hadn't missed the last several seasons; DVDs, here I come.

My Name is Earl (NBC, 7:00): The idea of Estrada or Nada was genius, as was the extraction of Darnell and Joy from the trailer. Looking forward to the conclusion this week.

The Office (NBC, 8:00): The idea of Michael being brought in to explain what he was doing right was funny; pretty much everything that came out of his mouth made me want to reach into the TV and slap his mouth shut. So, so painful. In contrast, the Andy/Dwight feud was classic, and made the episode well worth watching.

Grey's Anatomy (ABC 8:00): This episode was a nice change of pace from the last several; don't think the show is totally back on track, but it could be getting there. The scene with Hunt having his breakdown really got to me for some reason, made me tear up a little.

Private Practice (ABC 9:00): The Cooper/Charlotte storyline was well done, but the rest of the episode either did nothing for me or, in the case of the idiotic "Addison's love life" storyline, grated on my nerves.

FRIDAY, January 16

Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network, 7:00): A pretty solid episode; while it may not have strictly followed comic book cannon, I liked having Boston Brand be spurred onto a search for justice thanks to dealing with Bats.

Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9:00): I shall remain as spoiler free as possible while discussing BSG from here on out, since I'm sure there are some of you out there who only see it on DVD. I will say that the identity of the final Cylon was a bit of a let-down for me, but that the major character death took me completely by surprise. I'm really looking forward to having all of the questions answered as the series wraps up.

Psych (USA, 9:00): I always enjoy episodes that have Shawn showing signs that he actually likes Lassiter on some level, and this one was no exception.

SATURDAY, January 17

Meadowlands (Showtime Beyond, 12:15 AM): Not sure how long I'd stick with this series if it was open-ended, but knowing that there are only 8 episodes in total means I'll stick it out until the end.

SUNDAY, January 18

Flight of the Conchords (HBO, 9:00): Plot-wise, a fun episode; musically, I was disappointed. Hope this isn't signs of a sophomore slump.

United States of Tara (Showtime, 9:00): I enjoyed the pilot quite a bit. So far, no glaring inaccuracies about DID jumped out at me; bonus points for calling the other personalities "alters." I'm interested in seeing how the series deals with the reasons for Tara's condition, and if it explores how she was first diagnosed.

MONDAY, January 19

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 7:00): So many great Sheldon moments in this episode; the facial ticks when he couldn't talk, his time in the children's section, his wall climbing experience . . . priceless, all of it.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 7:30): Think this episode contained the best telepathic conversation ever; on the down side, I think I might have "Kokomo" stuck in my head for days.

Two and a Half Men (CBS 8:00): Best part of the episode had to be Alan's nightmare at the end where he imagines what his possible daughter would look like as a teenager; greatness.

THE WEEK TO COME

TUESDAY, January 20

Fringe (Fox, 8:00): My favorite new series of the season returns with an introduction to Olivia's sister.

Privileged (CW, 8:00): No new Scrubs this week, so the show is getting one last chance with me, mainly because I'm curious to see how they tie up the story of Megan's mom running off with Will's money.

WEDNESDAY, January 21

Lost (ABC, 7:00-10:00): Lost is back! Lost is back! The first hour is one of their usual catch-up clip shows, with the 2 hour season premiere starting at 8:00. Cannot wait!

THURSDAY, January 22

My Name is Earl (NBC, 7:00): The conclusion to the two parter about Darnell's compromised identity.

The Office (NBC, 8:00): Dwight and Michael pull an undercover op to spy on a competing paper company.

30 Rock (NBC 8:30): Jack drags Liz along to a corporate retreat

Grey's Anatomy (ABC 8:00): The conclusion of Eric Stoltz's run on the show

Private Practice (ABC 9:00): The show drags out yet another tired cliche as Violet discovers she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is

Burn Notice (USA 9:00): Thanks to the DVR I'm getting a chance to get caught up on the first half of Season 2 in time for the second half to begin. If you're not watching this show, you should give it a whirl; great stuff.

FRIDAY, January 23

Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network, 7:00): The third appearance of the Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle on the show which makes me glad, not only because I enjoy this version of the character greatly, but because so far the Blue Beetle eps have been the best. Plus, we also get to see the Ted Kord version, which is both a blessing and a source of sadness, as I really miss Ted. Still ticked at DC for killing him off.

Wolverine and the X-Men (Nicktoons, 7:00): The U.S. premiere of the latest animated version of the X-Men finds Wolverine trying to put the team back together after a year apart. Main characters include Shadowcat and Nightcrawler, so you know I have to watch.

Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9:00)

Psych (USA, 9:00): Shawn and Gus investigate an arsonist.

SATURDAY, January 24

Meadowlands (Showtime Beyond, 2:00 AM): Detective Wintersgill interrogates Danny.

SUNDAY, January 25

Flight of the Conchords (HBO, 9:00): Brett buys a new cup, and unwittingly bankrupts the band doing so.

United States of Tara (Showtime, 9:00): Tara unleashes an alter better equipped to deal with the stresses of parenting

MONDAY, January 26

No new sitcoms on tonight for some reason, but there is one new show on I'll give a try . . .

Trust Me (TNT, 9:00): New series about an advertising agency that is really only on my list because it stars Thomas Cavanagh, who I hope has found a better post-Ed showcase for his talents than Love Monkey was.

Mega-Movie Monday Pt. 2 - Odd and Scary

2009-01-19T05:11:00.000-06:00

For the second batch of movie review catch-up, I'll be focusing on the less mainstream films I've watched over the last month or two.

HORROR

Spiker: Horribly low budget slasher film about a serial killer who uses railroad spikes as his weapon of choice. Dad and I started to watch this my first night home for Christmas, and were more than happy to stop watching it when mom got home from the store about 20 minutes in. I finished it up after I got back to Denton, but it was more like background noise as I was playing around on the laptop. Avoid with all your might.

Slash: Another low budget slasher film, this one about a rock group who go to visit their lead singer's estranged father's farm for a funeral and then become victims of a crazed killer who believes human blood helps crops grow. Much more watchable than Spiker, but again, that's damning with faint praise. This one's not exactly going to go down as a classic, unless you're talking about a classic example of horrible racial stereotyping. Honestly, the single Black character in the film is such a mass of negative stereotypes that it was painful; was glad when he got bumped off just because I didn't have to endure any more.

Frostbiten: Interesting and entertaining Swedish vampire flick . I could go into more detail about the plot, but honestly, either the phrase "Swedish vampire flick" intrigues you or it doesn't, and I doubt my talking about how funny and well-done it is could sway your mind if you're one of the latter. I do wish I could find some clips of the talking dog sequences to share, though; those cracked me up.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds: Inferior sequel to one of my favorite horror films of recent years. This one ramped up the gross-out factor, but seemed to lose most of the originality and wit. Plus, none of the characters are all that likable, making it difficult to slog through.

Jake's Closet: Incredibly annoying film about a little boy whose parents divorce coincides with the appearance of a monster in his closet. No real redeeming characters anywhere in this one, and the ending just made me roll my eyes and wonder why I'd wasted my time.

Shiver: Spanish horror film about a teen afflicted with an intense sensitivity to light, making him an outcast in his new community, and thus one of the first suspects when people turn up missing. Not a bad little film, definitely higher quality than most of the horror flicks I've seen recently.

P2: So-so thriller about a workaholic who is trapped inside her office building's parking garage with a crazed parking attendant who has grown obsessed with her. Watched this one on Video On Demand; glad the only thing I wasted on it was my time, and not my money.

The Breed: Surprisingly well done animals-gone-wild film about five friends who are stranded on an island with a pack of intelligent and murderous dogs. A likable cast coupled with a very small number of "how can anyone be that stupid?" moments made this one a pretty entertaining watch. Plus, how often are you going to get a chance to see Oliver Hudson take out rabid dogs with a bow and arrow?

Dead Silence: So-so supernatural horror film about a man whose wife is murdered right after receiving a ventriloquist dummy in the mail. The movie had its drawbacks -- particularly Donnie Wahlberg's character, who grated on my nerves something fierce -- and telegraphed part of its final reveal something fierce; however, the actual reveal itself went gloriously dark and twisty places that I hadn't foreseen, and I have to give it props for that.

The Plague: Inspired by a Clive Barker story, the movie tells the tale of a strange illness that sweeps the globe, rendering all children worldwide comatose for ten years, when they suddenly awaken, thirsty for blood. An okay movie, not at the top of my list, but not at the bottom, either.

Dance of the Dead: Horror-comedy about a zed-word outbreak on prom night which catapults all of the dateless losers of the Sci-Fi club and other prom holdouts into the role of heroes. Mildly amusing film that embraces some cliches but eschews others.

The Ferryman: Mildly diverting film from New Zealand about a deadly spirit that uses a mystical knife to swap bodies in order to escape death itself. The film had its flaws -- notably the stereotypical and annoying uptight rich girl -- but for me it was all worth it for the scene when the possessed boyfriend of the uptight rich girl takes her down a peg or three.

Shutter: American remake of a Thailand film about a photographer and his girlfriend who begin to notice strange shadows in appearing in their pictures, shadows that soon prove to be proof of a deadly ghost haunting them. An okay film; not sorry I saw it, but not one I'd really recommend.

The Abandoned: Story of a British woman who was abandoned at birth and tracks down her family in Russia, only to encounter something supernatural. I liked this one for the most part, especially the use of the doppelganger concept, but wasn't a fan of the ending.

The Unborn: Well done ghost story about a girl who is haunted by the ghost of her twin who died in utero. Some nice creepy special effects, and a couple of creepy little kids, add up to some creepy fun. The only downside was that it's rated PG-13; normally that wouldn't be a problem, but in this case it meant that when Li'l Random and I went to see it, we had to put up with a theater full of teen-aged girls shrieking and talking throughout most of the film. They actually had to stop the movie at one point so that the security guard could come in and lecture everyone about being considerate of others.

ODD SQUODD WORTHY*

The Cottage: Story of two estranged brothers who team up to kidnap the daughter of a connected club owner for ransom, only to have things go terribly wrong when their hideout happens to be right next to the home of a deranged killer. While this British horror-comedy should technically go in the above section, I feel like it is dark, twisty, and bizarre enough to be Odd Squodd fodder. Not for the squeamish, but my dad and I cracked up all the way through it; out of all the movies I saw while at my folks' house, this was probably my favorite.

Colma: The Musical: Low-budget indie musical about three recent high school graduates in the town of Colma-- a town whose land is chiefly devoted cemeteries -- struggling with the transition into adulthood. None of the cast is likely to wind up on Broadway anytime soon, but the soundtrack still grew on me, enough so that I wound up ordering it online and have been listening to it non-stop since I got it. This is one I'd have a hard time recommending to most people; two out of three of the characters are self-serving and self-destructive, which can make it a tad difficult to identify with them. Still, the writing shows some real wit, and there are some genuinely funny moments throughout. Just probably not going to be most people's cup of tea.

Mr. Foe: Drama about a young man (Jamie Bell) who has trouble dealing with his mother's apparent suicide, becoming first a peeping tom, and later a semi-stalker when he spies a woman who greatly resembles his mother. I liked this one a lot, was alternately funny, touching, and disturbing, but definitely not for everyone.

Hamlet 2: Over-hyped comedy about a washed up actor (Steve Coogan) who becomes a washed up drama teacher who tries to save the theater department by staging a musical he wrote about Hamlet traveling through time with Jesus. Yes, you read that right; fair warning, there is a musical number entitled "Rock Me Sexy Jesus," which isn't quite as blasphemous as it sounds . . . quite. Didn't really enjoy this all that much, even without the uncomfortableness generated by the religious stuff; Coogan's character annoyed the heck out of me all the way through and since he was the main character around whom all other things revolved, that made it hard to enjoy it. Yes, there were some funny moments, and I'm not about to say it was a total waste of my time, but on the whole, not something I'd want to see again.

Zebraman: Entertaining if bizarre Japanese film about an awkward high school teacher obsessed with a short-lived 70s super-hero show who duplicates the costume to escape the mundanity of his everyday life and soon finds himself drawn into conflict with villains ripped straight from the TV show. The strangest thing about this movie to me was that it was from Takashi Miike, but was surprisingly wholesome; yeah, there was some death and violence, but it was all exaggerated and cartoonish, not explicit and gory like so much of his other work. That being said, I liked this movie a lot. Funny and action-packed.

Sidekick: Interesting indie film about a comic geek who suspects that one of his coworkers has super-powers and sets out to turn the co-worker into a real life super-hero so that he can become his sidekick; the only problem is that the potential super-hero is a self-centered, self-serving jerk. This one might best appeal to comic book fans, but as far as interesting takes on the super-hero genre go, this one was well worth my time.

Final Draft: Psychological drama about a script-writer on the verge of a nervous breakdown (James van der Beek) who locks himself in his apartment cut off from the outside world to make himself finish his horror movie script, and in turn begins to hallucinate about the people who have wronged him in his life. The ending is pretty predictable, but watching van der Beek's slow descent into madness kept me engaged through most of it.

25 Random Things

2009-01-18T22:37:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week I got tagged in a meme on Facebook by Trouble's new roomie, Lizard (pre-existing nickname, I assure you). Since I was going to fill it out and post on Facebook anyway, I figured I'd go ahead and use it as a blog post as well.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

I'll do the tag thing on Facebook; here, you just get the list

1. I'm generally not a big fan of giving pets common human names like Jack or Pete or the like; I tend to like more eclectic/esoteric/bizarre names. This carries over into my fiction writing, where I tend to give animals names of comic book characters.

2. I've never fired a real gun in my life. Rubber dart guns, plastic disc guns, Nerf guns, paintball guns, yes; actual lethal weapons, no. Cap'n Shack-Fu has eagerly offered to rectify that situation for me, but things haven't worked out so far.

3. I have a horrible head for numbers; they tend to go in one ear and out the other. This also applies to dates, which is part of why I never really liked history in school. I can count on one hand the number of birthdays of friends and family I can remember that aren't linked to a holiday.

4. I have a reputation as a picky eater, which is probably well-deserved. When I was younger it was next to impossible to get me to try new things; my cousin Lori once threatened me with great bodily harm if I didn't try the lasagna she made. I'm much more willing to try new things these days, just as long as it doesn't cost me anything and I know I have something Todd-approved as a backup.

5. I don't know how to drive a stick-shift. I've had many people offer to teach me over the years, but never have actually followed through on it.

6. When I live by myself, it's a struggle not to turn into a bit of a hermit. I get home, change immediately into my comfy, not-going-back-out-in-public-tonight clothes, and am then ready for a night filled with doing absolutely nothing. If I get a call from someone wanting to do something spontaneous, my first thought is "but I'd have to get dressed in presentable clothes!" I am much better about accepting spontaneous invites now than I once was, but there are times when I just have my mind set on staying home being lazy, and nothing is going to change that.

7. I often get impatient waiting in drive-throughs waiting for people to figure out what they want to order, but that's probably because when it comes to eating out, I usually find one thing I like and order it every time. Clan Stoneheart would often joke about having a "Todd special" at Hideaway Pizza, i.e. pepperoni pizza and coke.

8. I stay in touch much better with friends who use IM than friends only email. For some reason, I have no problem just saying "hey" in an IM, but if I start to write an email I feel like it needs to be much more involved. Subsequently, I will often think "I need to email so-and-so" but will put it off because I don't have time at that moment to compose anything substantial enough.

9. When I was six years old, I got to go to Hawaii with my parents. My strongest memories are of standing on the shore letting the waves wash the sand away from around my feet; going to an aquarium and seeing a show starring a fat penguin called Fred; and watching a bizarre Japanese television show. It's the last one that sticks in my mind the most; something about a guy in a rubber squid-man suit shooting off the top of his head so that it flies through the air, knocking over another man, covering him up and transforming him into a small canister, which the squid man this puts into a container revealed in his head when the squid top flew off . . . something about that just stuck with me. If I could ever find out what that show was and somehow see it again, I would be a happy, happy man.

10. I generally don't do well being put on the spot and being asked to make quick decisions. I am a muller; I like to think things through thoroughly before voicing my opinion or advice.

11. One of the organizations I was most active in in high school was the Technology Student Association. My first year, I was part of the parliamentary procedure team that won first place at the national conference. A few months later, we were asked to film an instructional video to be given to other TSA chapters in Oklahoma. Many years later while I was working at OSU, I volunteered to help judge at the state conference in OKC, and was actually recognized by a few people from the video. Makes me wonder if that tape of 8th grade Todd acting as Sgt. at Arms is still floating around out there.

12. I rarely stop a movie once I've started it; there's always a part of me that hopes to find a redeeming moment in the film to make it not a total waste of my time. Sometimes this pays off; sometimes it doesn't. Every once in a while I run into something so painful I can't make it through; this seems to happen more often the older I get.

13. A lot of people I know talk about how when they read it's like a movie in their head. Me, not so much; yes, I love to read, but I'm not generally a "visual" reader. Yes, when I get into a good book I get sucked into it and tune out the rest of the world, but I suppose my focus is more on the writing itself -- cadence, meter, alliteration, dialogue, characterization, etc. -- so unless a writer is very heavy into descriptions, I don't automatically generate a mental movie. This, of course, has led to issues in my own writing, as I have to fight to avoid the "talking head" syndrome and actually write some descriptions and action sequences.

14. It's sometimes hard for me to focus or concentrate in total silence. I almost always have the TV on or some music playing so I can have background noise. Of course, I have to be careful what I use as background, otherwise I find myself watching the TV or, in the case of music, singing along.

15. I am not an overly organized person, as anyone who has ever lived or worked with me can attest. I will occasionally be overcome with a need to attempt to organize things, but I either (a) run out of steam before finishing or (b) succeed initially but then don't keep up with the system.

16. If most of my Parkerite friends hadn't been so gung-ho about moving out of the dorms, I probably would have stayed in Parker until I graduated. For some reason, the "no alcohol" policy and "no member of the opposite sex on your floor after curfew" rule didn't seem to bother me like they did others . . .

17. When I do something and feel guilty about it, I invariably tell on myself

18. I never realized I enjoyed spicy foods until after I went off to college; my parents neither one eat spicy stuff, so I never really tried any until much later.

19. The places I'd most like to visit are Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and the U.K. Yes, I primarily want to visit English speaking countries, but the language has nothing to do with it. I've just been fascinated by Australia and the U.K. for as long as I can remember, and have heard nothing but good things about New Zealand. As for Japan, well, I've always wanted to visit someplace that triggered total sensory overload . . .

20. My handwriting is horrible. When I was doing a research paper for my Senior English class in high school, my teacher made me type up my rough draft because she refused to try to decipher such a massive chunk of my illegible writing. And I couldn't even complain to my mom about the teacher since, y'know, my mom was the teacher.

21. I talk to my parents on the phone an average of a couple of hours a week . . . typically all in one sitting. We are a chatty people.

22. When I was in college, I picked up the skill of twirling a pen in my fingers from my roomie Wrath teh Berzerkr; that skill has now become a habit that I do almost without thinking. Over the years, many people have tried to emulate it, and invariable they ask me to "do it slowly," a request that robs all momentum from the object, making the twirling impossible. I will occasionally meet someone else who also does it; so far, everyone who has either (a) learned it in debate in high school or (b) learned it from someone who was in debate in high school.

23. Although I have eliminated or reduced many of my irrational insecurities over the years, they still rear their heads in my reluctance to initiate telephone conversations or instigate plans with others. Part fear of rejection, part neurotic certainty that my random call is an annoyance. I can probably count the number of people I'll call up with no hesitation on one hand.

24. I used to cheat at Candyland; I would stack the deck, and then ask my mom to play. As a cover, I would let her go first. That's one of the few deceptions I really remember perpetrating in my childhood. Yeah, I was a goody-two-shoes, but is anyone really surprised by that?

25. I spent way too much time coming up with this list because I was trying to come up with stuff that I haven't talked about in my blog, and I didn't want it to just be a bunch of one sentence statements. Yes, I have a problem, but we all knew that, right?

TV Tuesday - The Week to Come

2009-01-13T08:31:00.000-06:00

Now that I've finally gotten a DVR, I've been able to catch up on some cable shows I'd missed out before for one reason or another, partially thanks to being able to program it to record all episodes of shows without having to track down dates and times myself, and partially thanks to Video on Demand. Consequently, I spent a good deal of my Christmas break wading through marathons of several shows, including True Blood, Psych, Batman: The Brave and the Bold, and Robot Chicken. I still need to get caught up on season 3 of Dexter, but probably need to wait for a weekend when I have nothing else going on, since odds are good once I start watching it'll be hard to pull me away.

I won't bother trying to review all the shows that I watched in the last couple of months, so let's jump straight into my viewing schedule for the week.

TUESDAY, January 13

Scrubs (ABC, 8:00 & 8:30): Hallelujah, Scrubs is back! Tonight's episodes find Dr. Cox teaming up with Dr. Kelso to take down Courtney Cox's character.

Privileged (CW, 8:00): This show teeters precariously on the verge of dropping off my viewing schedule, especially now that Charlie is leaving the show; honestly, I almost wish Charlie and Rose would get their own spin-off, since they're about the only characters I'm liking these days. Anyway, tonight's episode deals with why Lily called Megan from jail last week.

WEDNESDAY, January 14

Nothing of interest to me this week, but the fact that we're just one week away from the season premiere of Lost bears noting

THURSDAY, January 15

Smallville (CW, 7:00): I haven't watched Smallville in ages, but tonight's episode was not only written by one of my favorite comic writers, Geoff Johns, but also features the introduction of my favorite comic characters, The Legion of Super-Heroes, to the show's mythos, and I can't miss that.

My Name is Earl (NBC, 7:00): Joy tries out for a reality show, and Darnell's witness protection status may be in trouble.

The Office (NBC, 8:00): Andy finally learns out that he's been cuckolded by Dwight, and the two decide to duel.

30 Rock (NBC 8:30): The cast is besieged by the flu, but Jack is selective about who gets vaccinations.

Grey's Anatomy (ABC 8:00): I haven't been too happy with the show overall this season, but I'm sticking it out for the foreseeable future.

Private Practice (ABC 9:00): See above comment about Grey's and apply here, only this one has a lot shorter leash.

FRIDAY, January 16

Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon Network, 7:00): This latest Batman cartoon follows the formula used by the comic series The Brave and the Bold in the 70s and 80s: Batman teams up with random superhero to take down the villain-of-the-week. A much lighter version of Batman is on display here, harkening back more to the Superfriends era than the Batman: The Animated Series version. This week's installment has an intro featuring Kamandi, Last Boy on Earth wielding some incredibly Kirby-esque weaponry, followed by a main storyline the has Bats teaming up with Deadman to take on The Gentlemen Ghost

Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9:00): After quit an interesting cliffhanger at the mid-season break, BSG finally returns to start the countdown to the end of the series.

Psych (USA, 9:00): Lassiter gets accused of murder, and has to turn to Shawn and Gus for help.

SATURDAY, January 17

Meadowlands (Showtime Beyond, 12:15 AM): I know this show runs several different times over the week, but this is the airing that doesn't interfere with any of my other scheduled recordings. Stumbled on this by accident while channel surfing a couple of weeks ago; it's a British series (called Cape Wrath when it aired in the UK) about an isolated community whose inhabitants are all in witness protection, meaning they all have shady, secretive pasts.

SUNDAY, January 18

Flight of the Conchords (HBO, 9:00): Everyone's favorite Kiwi comedy guitar duo are back for another season. This time around, the pair were forced to write a lot of new music rather than just dipping into their repertoire, composing 16 new songs for the season.

United States of Tara (Showtime, 9:00): I've of two minds about this one. On the one hand, it stars Toni Collette and features the writing of Diablo Cody, screenwriter of Juno; on the other hand, the fact that the hook of the show is that its main character has Dissociative Identity Disorder (better know as multiple personalities) will be sure to drive me crazy due to me having had a strange obsession with DID ever since Junior High and thereby having a low tolerance for inaccurate depictions of the condition. But, I'll at least give it a try, if for no other reason than to have something to gripe about in next week's post.

MONDAY, January 19

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 7:00): I didn't realize until a couple of nights ago that Sheldon was the "fast food knight" in Garden State; that really has nothing to do with this episode, just thought it was worth mentioning*

How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 7:30): Marshall and Lily go to a wine and cheese party while the single folk go out clubbing.

Two and a Half Men (CBS 8:00): Alan is convinced he's the father of Judith's child

*He also had a non-speaking role in School for Scoundrels, which is what prompted me to look him up on IMDB and discover the Garden State fact in the first place.

Delurk, Dagnabit!

2009-01-12T11:29:00.000-06:00

Many thanks to Rocket G'ovich for reminding me that today is Delurker Day, where all blog readers are encouraged to step forward and post a comment, letting everyone know that you're there.

And while this may smack of shameless pandering for comments, well, that's because it is. Doesn't mean you shouldn't humor me, though.

Mega-Movie Monday Pt. 1 - Lot o' Catching Up to Do

2009-01-12T04:51:00.000-06:00

I've seen quite a few movies over the last couple of months, especially over Christmas break with my folks. With over 30 films to review I figured I'd try to break them down into a couple of posts, and then label them with categories for your browsing pleasure.

ANIMATION

Horton Hears a Who: So-so animated adaption of the Dr. Seuss tale about an elephant trying to protect a microscopic world that only he believes exists. Nothing really negative to say about it, just didn't really hold my interest.

Happily N'ever After: Sub-par animated film about what happens when Cinderella's evil step-mother gains access to mystical scales that govern whether fairy tales turn out "happily ever after" or not. Couple of clever ideas here and there, but on the whole, I recommend just re-watching Hoodwinked or one of the Shrek films.

Kung Fu Panda: Animated film about a bumbling panda whose dreams of becoming a master of kung-fu become reality after being named as the chosen one from prophecy. One of the better animated films I've seen recently; not spectacular, but definitely enjoyable, especially the fight sequences.

Wall-E: Excellent animated film about a lonely trash-compacting robot whose solitary existence on a long-abandoned Earth is interrupted by the arrival of survey robot with whom he falls in love. Gotta love Pixar films -- well, except Cars, didn't really care for Cars -- and Wall-E is one of their best efforts. I know some folks felt it was a bit preachy with its "green" message, but I didn't think it was preachy at all.

ACTION/ADVENTURE/SF

The X-Files: I Want to Believe: The second big-screen X-Files film revolves around a defrocked priest besieged by visions of murder which bring Mulder and Scully back to duty to investigate. An okay film; I might have gotten more out of it if I'd been a more die-hard X-Files fan, but as it was, it just didn't hold my interest.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon: The third installment in The Mummy series sees the O'Connell clan once again battling a mystically reanimated mummy, only this one is Chinese and not Egyptian. As far as sequels go, I've seen worse, but this one definitely didn't live up to its predecessors, not the least of which was the lack of Rachel Weisz.

Sukiyaki Western Django: Highly stylized Western from Takashi Miike about a gunslinger caught up in a feud between two rival gangs on the hunt for treasure. Although filmed in Japan with a predominantly Japanese class, the movie was filmed in English, leading to some interesting line readings here and there.

Doomsday: Post-apocalyptic tale with heavy Mad Max vibe ; the plot revolves around a doomsday virus which decimated Scotland, turning it into a quarantined no man's land whose surviving inhabitants have turned savage. Quite a bit different from what I thought it would be, but in a good way. Although I have to say, the gratuitous exploding vehicles during the climactic chase sequence were waywayWAY over the top.

COMEDY

An American Carol: Super-right-wing spoof that takes copious shots at Michael Moore and other liberals in the most ham-fisted way imaginable. I won't say it was a total waste of time, but pretty close, and I say that as someone who can't stand Michael Moore. You'd think a movie mocking him would be right up my alley, and yet the utter lack of subtlety in its anti-liberal message drove me insane.

The House Bunny: Story of a ditzy Playboy Bunny (the always hilarious Anna Faris) who gets kicked out of the mansion and becomes house mother to a Sorority of misfits in danger of losing their charter if they don't increase their numbers. Pretty predictable plot, and occasionally squirm-inducing due to unbelievable awkwardness on the dorky girls parts. Still, there are plenty of laugh-out-loud sections, most of which are the work of Faris, such as this bit which never fails to crack me up.

Comedy gold, people, comedy gold.

Sydney White: Film loosely based on the tale of Snow White, with Amanda Bynes as the titular character who is drummed out of a sorority by a girl jealous of her burgeoning popularity, and is forced to move into a ramshackle house populated by Seven Dorks. Another pretty predictable film, but it managed to keep me entertained largely through the Seven Dorks, particularly "Grumpy" (Danny Strong of Buffy and Gilmore Girls) and "Dopey."

School of Scoundrels: Movie about a meek parking meter attendant (Jon Heder) who enrolls in a secretive class designed to make him more assertive lead by a manipulative jerk (Billy Bob Thornton). Had trouble getting through some sections of the film early on when Heder's character was in full-on spaz mode -- especially his first date with Jacinda from The Real World London -- but there were enough funny parts scattered throughout that I didn't feel like this was a complete waste of time. Still, glad I caught it on my DVR and didn't pay for it.

Mama Mia!: Big-screen adaptation of the smash Broadway hit musical about a girl who tries to find out the identity of her father in time for her wedding. This one didn't really gel for me at all, although my parents both loved it; mom even bought it for dad for Christmas*.

Fred Claus: Film centering on the centuries-old sibling rivalry between Saint Nick (Paul Giamatti) and his older -- and equally immortal -- brother Frederick (Vince Vaughn). Much better than I thought it was going to be, although that could be a case of damning with faint praise.

Step Brothers: Will Ferrell vehicle finds him playing a petulant man-child still living at home with his mother whose world is turned upside down after she marries a man with his own over-grown slacker child in tow. Alternates between cringe-worthy sequences and laugh-out-loud moments, such as the moment when Ferrell's character and his older brother try to hug for the first time**

Not Ferrell's best effort, but more than enough funny parts to make it worth a look

DRAMA

Shotgun Stories: Low budget drama about two sets of half-brothers who erupt into a blood feud following the death of their father. Acting is hit or miss, but on the whole, not a bad little film.

Red: Erroneously billed as a horror film, this drama tells the tale of a widower whose dog is killed by some rebellious teens, leading him to at first seek restitution, and later, retribution. A bit too slow-moving for my tastes, but that could have been a result of me going into it thinking it was a completely different sort of film than it really was.

The Visitor: Engaging drama about a listless college professor whose life is transformed after he discovers that his New York apartment has been illegally sublet to a couple of illegal immigrants. More of a character study than anything else.

Seven Pounds: Tear-jerker about a man (Will Smith) trying to atone for a mistake which claimed the lives of several people. Fairly well-done movie, although not one I'd enthusiastically recommend to people; for my money, I'd say wait for a rental. But, since I saw this with my folks and they bought the tickets, I can't complain.

Married Life: Period piece set in the 1950s about a married man who wants to leave his wife for his mistress, but hates the thought of causing her pain and so decides that the most humane thing to do is kill her. This one turned out to be nowhere near as dark and twisty as that synopsis might make it seem; don't know if that was a product of the period nature of the film or what, but while the movie had solid acting from its impressive cast (including Pierce Brosnon, Chris Cooper, and Patricia Clarkson) I felt a bit short-changed, which is why this is included in the "Drama" category and not the "Odd Squodd Friendly" category which will kick off part two of my reviews.

*She did, however, buy it in BluRay instead of DVD, which was a bit of a problem . . .
**When I showed that clip to my mom, she asked "Is that what's it's like trying to give PigPen a hug?" I responded "Pretty close."

Look Who's Back . . .No, Honest, I Mean It This Time

2009-01-09T02:39:00.000-06:00

Remember last month when I said I was back on the blogging track?

Obviously, I lied.

Sadly, no really good excuse for my lack of posts, other than a general lack of inspiration and desire. Had planned on getting back into it over Christmas break, but wound up just reading old comics and watching lots of movies. Then I had thought "alright, let's make 'posting regularly' one of my New Year's Resolutions!" But, yeah, that didn't happen either. And while I was trying again and again to motivate myself to post, as usual it fell to a pointed comment from Zinger to get me moving: "Can't believe Rosenberg is only going to be updating Goats three days a week. Next thing you know, he's only updating once a week, then once every couple of weeks, then not at all. We all know how frustrating it is to keep checking a site that never updates, right?"

Point taken, my friend, point taken

So, what's been happening in my life since the last time I actually posted?

CHRISTMAS: Cap'n Cluck and Angel hosted a White Elephant gift exchange at their house the Friday before Christmas. My contribution? A framed photocopy of the picture I had posted at work for the "Guess whose parents these are" game

Gotta love the 70s, right? Anyway, Fluffy was the lucky recipient of my parents' wedding photo, along with a beat up copy of the 2000 Video Hound Movie Guide, added to give the box some weight.

I spent the first week of my Christmas break in Miami, OK where I gleefully introduced my parents to such Odd-Squodd-esque films as In Bruges, Burn After Reading, Mister Foe, Sasquatch Gang, etc. Dad and I also got to enjoy a couple of entertaining horror-comedies The Cottage and Dance of the Dead, which I plan to talk more about on Monday. Honestly, a good portion of my enjoyment of spending time with my folks is introducing them to films I know they'll like but which they would never rent on their own.

The second week of Christmas break was spent largely just sitting around my house watching Netflix and DVRed shows. Man, I love my DVR.

NEW YEARS: I spent the bulk of New Year's Eve fighting with a nasty piece of malware on my PC which not only kept most of my anti-spyware and anti-virus from opening and/or updating, but also blocked me from accessing several web sites devoted to fighting such things. Luckily, I now have WiFi and a laptop, so I was able to download the software needed to clean up the PC onto the laptop and then burn it to disc to get it onto the PC. After about 6 hours or so of messing with it, finally get it all cleared up, and so was able to make it to the Singles New Year's Eve Luau with no problem, especially with the help of the new TomTom GPS unit my folks got my for Christmas.

The Singles party was a lot of fun, even if it did remind me just how horribly out of shape I've gotten in the last few months without PigPen and Cap'n Shack-Fu around to get me off my butt. Dancing can take quite a toll when you're old, fat, and have no endurance. I also about lost my voice doing karaoke. Good times, good times.

I got to try out the TomTom again on New Years Day when I drove out to Van Alstyne to visit Clan Flunky. Flunky's folks had bought around 8 acres there a few months back, and Flunky had spent most of his Christmas vacation helping his dad with landscaping. When he invited me out to visit, Flunky told me I could bring my work gloves and pay for my lunch with hard labor; I opted to just be a mooch instead. I was really glad I got to spend the day with Flunky, Flunky Lover, and their two spawn, since I hadn't seen them face to face in probably two years. The elder spawn is not nearly as hypnotically cute as he once was, but he makes up for it with his mind-bending joke telling ability.

Spawn: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Spawn: Chair! [erupts into gales of laughter] That's how we play this game!

CAP'N SHACK-FU: My best bud Shack-Fu has now been at the FBI academy for a little over a month. The first few weeks were pretty rough as they tried to weed people out, but things seem to have settled down a bit . . . of course, "settled down" for the FBI academy is relative term. He has put down Oklahoma City as his top choice for a duty assignment after graduation, so we're all praying that that pans out, since he'd only be a couple of hours away then. Right now I'm hoping to head up to Quantico for his graduation in May; with luck I can work it so I can also swing by Maryland and see Clan Flunky again while I'm in the general area.

And, for the record, yes, it is still horribly surreal for me to think that my best friend in the world is on the verge of becoming a full-fledged FBI agent.

FACEBOOK: I know I mentioned back in September that there had been an increase in the number of Wyandottians on Facebook, but it has been steadily increasing ever since then. As of this moment, I now have over 50 former classmates from Wyandotte as friends on Facebook. Kind of interesting, seeing where everybody is these days. Plus, I enjoy knowing that some of them who never had much exposure to the "real" Todd are now getting to see a brief glimpse of my insanity as evidence by my random status updates.

In addition to the Wyandottians, I've also managed to reconnect with my old pal from the Stillwater Public Library Days J.D., along with his wife and mother-in-law; now that we're in contact again, there may be hope that we can actually get our schedules to line up so that we can meet up at some point, since I can't even remember the last time I got to see them.

Oh, and earlier today I added CoIM to the Facebook Blog Network; if those of you blog monkeys with Facebook accounts could take a moment to go here and confirm me as the blog author, it would be greatly appreciated. If nothing else, I'd like to get the number of readers to rise above 2.

Miscellaneous Monday -- Look Who's Back, Back Again

2008-12-08T09:19:00.001-06:00

Infinite apologies for the lack of updates, my blog monkeys; November was a crazy month, and I apparently needed the whole first week of December to recuperate enough to start blogging again. A few updates on what's happened since I last blogged:

I finished my novel for NaNoWriMo, passing the 50,000 word goal by a little bit on the day after Thanksgiving ; if you click here and choose "Novel Info" you can see an incredibly unedited excerpt. Am taking several weeks away from it before entering the editing phase. Plan to blog more about the process later
I am now officially no longer one of the Boys of Benjiman Street, having moved into the spare bedroom at Cap'n Shack-Fu's house on Wicker Way -- or, as relatively new Single The Dread Pirate Squaberts* likes to call it when chaneling his inner record-scratching DJ, Wicka-wicka Way. I'm starting to feel more comfortable there, but it's really strange thinking of it as "my place" instead of "Shack-Fu's place." And speaking of the Shack-tastic one . . .
Today marks New Agent in Training Shack-Fu's first full day at the FBI Academy**. He drove up to Roanoke on Friday -- between a 17 and 18 hour drive, I believe -- and drove the rest of the way to Quantico on Saturday. The initial check-in and orientation were supposed to be yesterday; I chatted with him briefly a few times while he was on the road, but haven't heard anything since he actually entered the hallowed halls of Quantico. No telling how long before he'll get a chance to contact the outside world again; be sure to send your prayers and good thoughts his way.
I now have an iPod, a DVR, a laptop, and wireless Internet at my house; yes, that's right, I've finally joined the 21st century. An early adopter, I am not. Next step: flat-screen TV for the living room.

So, between writing, moving, organizing all of my music for the iPod, a few Singles activities, heading home for Thanksgiving, and just trying to squeeze in all of the quality time I could with best bud Shack-Fu before he headed out, a lot of stuff fell by the wayside. Heck, I went almost the entire month of November without watching a single movie, only breaking the streak the day after Thanksgiving, so you know my head's been in a different place than usual.

Here's hoping I can get back on track.

*Nick-name a work in progress, and a long story to boot
**Could I just take a moment to mention just how surreal it is that my best friend is now officially at the FBI Academy? Hard to wrap my head around it.

Written Word Wednesday - 16,192

2008-11-05T09:44:00.000-06:00

I figured that for the month of November I'd use my Written Word Wednesdays to keep you all abreast of my progress of my latest mini-obsession.

I'm keeping a running tally of my word count at the end of each day; figured I'd share it with y'all

I would just use this nifty word count widget to show you my progress

Or maybe even this one

but since the main NaNoWriMo site was not being cooperative the first couple of days due to the large number of people logging on, I couldn't update my numbers until yesterday, so the graphs the website generates aren't all that accurate.

Day 1: 8,016
Day 2: 10,086 (+ 2,070)
Day 3: 12,409 (+ 2,323)
Day 4: 15,038 (+ 2,629)

As of this moment (part way through day 5), my current word count is 16,192 words, thanks to a lunch-time write-in with my two co-workers who were largely responsible for talking me into this in the first place. This puts mes well ahead of the recommended pace to complete the novel on time; in fact, I have almost double the amount of words for today (8,335), and I still have a write-in at the main library to go to this evening.

On a related note, fellow NaNoWriMoer Bubblegum Tate is starting up a club for everyone out there who loathes and despises me for being so far ahead of the game and making their efforts look feeble in comparison; feel free to drop him a line if you want to join*

The recommend daily word count is 1,667; if you were to write that much every day for the whole month, you would wind up with 50,010 words, a whopping ten words over the goal. Right now I'm shooting for at least 2,000 words a day; that amount of over-achievement, coupled with my blockbuster first day of writing, should give me enough of a cushion to carry me through times of much distraction.

Speaking of distractions, there's one other stressor coming up this November which I forgot to mention earlier; since our lease is up at the end of the month I will be moving from Benjiman Street to Wicker Way, into the spare bedroom at Cap'n Shack-Fu's house. So, packing and moving and cleaning will all be going on while I'm attempting to write a novel . . . yes, I'm sick in the head.

Now, while others are impressed with my word output, for me it's not the biggest achievement so far; after all, those of you who know me well know that I am an incredibly wordy bastage. No, for me my biggest achievement was the moment where I realized that a segment of dialogue-driven exposition from Chapter 1 would work much better in Chapter2 -- and I did nothing about it other than make a mental note for revision purposes. But outside of that, I left it alone; didn't cut and past, didn't juggle text, didn't hem and haw over how to replace it in one place and blend it in in another. No, just kept going full-steam ahead. Since it's that sort of situation I've been most worried about, I consider my ability to fight off the editing temptation a moral victory of sorts; the fact that both Tate and co-worker Dr. Pester have fallen into the trap themselves probably adds fuel to their "Stop making us look bad, you wordy bastage!" club's hatred.

Going through this process, I can't help comparing it to when I wrote In a Cabin in the Woods. Probably the biggest difference I've found between the two experiences is that, with NaNoWriMo, when I step away from the laptop, I pretty much step away from the writing process as a whole. Oh, sure, from time to time I'll have a random thought about where I want my story to go next as I'm driving to work, or am on the elliptical machine at the gym, but I just don't have the non-stop, obsessive compulsion regarding this particular work that I did with In a Cabin. I'm sure part of it is because the deadline for Cabin was a much more practical one; had to have it all written out and finished and (mostly) coherent so that Flunky could get it for Christmas. Whereas with NaNoWriMo, the deadline is much more arbitrary, and as long as I hit the magic 50,000 word mark it's considered a "success," whether I've technically finished my story or not.

Don't get me wrong: I want to finish my story. Right now I'm thinking that even if I hit 50,000 words before the end of the month (which I seem pretty likely to do), I'll probably go ahead and keep plugging away at it without editing or revision through the rest of the month, or until I finish the story, whichever comes first. But just knowing that I don't have to have a completely finished product in place by a certain date has helped keep the obsession at bay.

Of course, the other big factor is that with In a Cabin I had five different stories clamoring for my attention, and I honestly wasn't sure what was going to happen in four of them until I actually got them written. So, I was driven partially out of a fear that I was going to run out of time to tell these mysterious stories, and partially out of a desire to see where the heck they were heading. Right now I just have the one story to focus on, and I kinda sorta have it plotted out for a little bit longer; I'd say I'll probably be at the 20-25,000 word mark range before I have to make a serious decision about what direction to take the story in.

*No, PigPen, the club isn't for those who loathe and despise me on general principle, so you'll have to stick with your own club for now.