Friday, August 03, 2007

Anarchy at Applebee's: an Evening With Cap'n Bionic, Li'l Weirdo, and Swamp-Fu

Wednesday night my best bud Cap'n Shack-Fu was actually in town for the first time in weeks so the Singles got together at Applebee's for dinner with him before he had to move on again. My roomies, Cap'n Cluck, and I were the first ones to arrive, and as we were being seated I noticed that one of my co-workers* was just a few tables over so I went over to say hi. She and her dinner companion were regaling me with tales of people they knew who had similar injuries to their finger and who had had horrible recovery experiences due to loss of use and the need for multiple surgeries; it was while having these nice uplifting thoughts put into my head that Shack-Fu and Fluffy showed up. Shack-Fu saw me and came running at me full tilt, arms open, crying out "Toooooooooooooooooooodd!!" before nearly knocking me over with his enthusiastic hug. My co-worker would later comment on how unbelievably energetic Shack-Fu was; I told her she had barely seen anything.

While I was happy that we had a big group show up to dinner, the downside of having a large group like that is that you wind up having two or three separate groups operating in their own conversational worlds. Although, at times it's a blessing in disguise; not sure if the restaurant would have been able to handle it if Li'l Random had been seated right next to the rest of HyperForce 3000 instead of at the opposite end of the table where he spent most of the evening alternately entertaining and horrifying the girls around him with his randomness.

Overall, we were at Applebee's for about 2 1/2 hours; luckily, since it was a Wednesday night it wasn't very busy, so we didn't have to feel guilty about monopolizing several tables. At one point I did notice that they had stopped sitting people near us if they could help it, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence, right?

Some highlights of the evening:

  • After Li'l Random told me he was going to call me "Bionic," he then began to demonstrate what my bionic finger would be like, making the trademark slow-mo bionic sound effects as he picked things up. PigPen and I simultaneously began to mime a different action with the sound effects, an action I'm sure you can guess if you recall exactly which finger it is that's getting the screws put to it.

  • Fluffy told us that Shack-Fu has a new nickname at his work after he had placed a 'Do Not Disturb, I'm Swamped" sign outside of his office: Swamp Thing.

    I see the resemblance . . .

  • After Squiggly got a to-go box for her left-over chicken, some of the others decided to decorate it with drawings. Li'l Random drew a fanged face, spiked tale, clawed lags, and segmented stomach to turn the Styrofoam container into a dragon; then, one of the girls grabbed it, drew a bow and eyelashes on it, making it a very feminine dragon. Li'l Random took one look and declared "I shall name you Drusilla!" He then began to work the container to mimic a mouth, and began to woo himself in a falsetto voice. After a minute of this, he put the container down; I took one look at him and said "You were this close to making out with it, weren't you?" He nodded sheepishly, then grabbed the container again. Squiggly proclaimed that he was not making out with her to-go box. He said "Fast-forward to afterward!" and then had Drusilla speak again: "Oh, Li'l Random, you're such a good kisser!" "Oh, Drusilla," he replied, "you taste like chicken."

  • While standing outside of Applebee's, Li'l Random McEvil suddenly grabbed Drusilla from Squiggly, ran down to the other end of the building, set Drusilla on the ground, and then zipped behind the building, cautiously peeking out from behind a bush. When Squiggly refused to give chase and demanded that he return with her food, the Random One crouched down to the ground and began to make Drusilla speak again; it was at this time that the back door of the restaurant opened up and a lady came out, giving Li'l Random a wary look. He bolted straight up and began to stammer out an explanation for his behavior, but the discerning Applebee's customer merely looked at him askance, muttered something, and kept on walking as our entire group died laughing at Li'l Random's embarrassing encounter. After retrieving Drusilla and rejoining the group, Li'l Random informed us what the lady had muttered at him: "Weirdo." And thus, was another nickname added to the list . . .

*The one who was the victim of my sweating overshare