Mid-Week Ramblings

Some random tidbits today; I was tempted to split this up into a "karate-themed" post and a "non-karate-themed" post to pad my posting numbers, but finally decided to just alternate between them in the post. I bet you're all really glad I shared that useless information with you, huh?

• A couple of weekends ago Squiggly and I attended a "takedown and submission" workshop taught by the head of Red Tiger Karate. It was pretty cool, although I wish it had lasted a bit longer since we wound up rushing through everything so quickly that we barely had time to practice any particular move more than a couple of times. Still, it did confirm what I had suspected, which is that I would much rather be taking a grappling style martial art such as judo or jujitsu than karate; not that I don't enjoy karate, it's just that I think I'd enjoy the other styles more. Of course, until I can find a judo/jujitsu class that's as affordable as Red Tiger is, it's a moot point.
  
  
• For the first time since its inception oh so many weeks ago, I was unable to come up with a story to submit to Write in the Thick of It. I blame my assigned genre; whereas last time my assigned genre of "western" inspired me, this time around the assigned genre of "mystery" killed all creative juices. I wouldn't feel quite so bad about not entering something if it weren't for the fact that there was apparently a plague of writers block, resulting in there only being two entries: Redneck Diva and Hillbilly Mom. Today's your last day to vote for a winner; with luck, I'll be up to submitting something the next time around.
  
  
• In addition to PigPen, I have a new constant sparring partner: Cap'n Shack-Fu. You see, following our swimming pool grappling a few weeks ago, Shack-Attack has taken it upon himself to continually test my battle readiness. The evening after the "takedown and submission" seminar he had me show him some of the things we'd learned, as well as a couple of the self-defense moves from our regular karate class, before he decided it was time to run me through the Cap'n Shack-Fu Self-Defense Crash Course, much to the amusement of Squiggly who got to watch Coach Shack-Fu put me through my paces. Unfortunately, the fact that I jammed one of my fingers pretty badly last week* meant that Shack-Fu was unable to engage me in battle before heading off to OK as he obviously wanted to, which is a shame, really, since I was enjoying the fact that, for once, it wasn't me being the instigator.
  
  
• Later on today I'm going to have a phone interview with a reporter for MSNBC.com -- please note the ".com," which means that this will be an Internet article, and not something televised on MSNBC, as a few of the people I've told have assumed. As for why she's interviewing me, well, it's because of CoIM; in particular, my "Cap'n TMI" blog post, which ties into an article she's writing on people's tendency to overshare. I think there's probably a betting pool going on just how much I'm going to overshare during the interview.
  
  
• You know what the most difficult thing about karate is for me right now? It's not learning the kata or feeling comfortable with the techniques; it's not getting up to speed with the conditioning or enduring the constructive criticism of the instructors; it's not even the thought of having to perform my kata in front of an audience at the tournament or having to start sparring,**; no, the hardest part for me is not comparing myself and my progress to fellow white belt PigPen. I actually have done a pretty good job of just focusing on how much improvement I'm showing compared to when I started without trying to use anyone else as a measuring stick, but every once in a while that foolishly competitive side of myself rears its moronic head.
  
  
• Last night I updated the CoIM Cast List to include Cap'n Bubbles, as well as updating several people's nicknames, character descriptions, catch-phrases, and the like. I probably would have tinkered with it more but I got distracted by the siren call of new episodes of The Closer, Eureka, and Pirate Master, as well as the DVD of an excellent Indie horror flick Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon*** which is the first DVD I've been compelled to listen to the full commentary of in many many moons. So please, check out the updated list, but don't be too surprised if it gets updated again soon -- then again, don't be too surprised if it takes another three or four months to get updated. Because that's the way I roll.
  
  
• It's a little less than 4 weeks until our tournament, where I have to perform my kata in front of a whole bunch of people; it's kinda-sorta a competition, since they'll be awarding first and second place, but I'm going to do my best to just think of it as "something I've got to do in order to take my belt test."
  
  
• I'm experimenting with exposing different blog monkey groups to each other; on my recent Frilly's Friday I invited Li'l Random along so that he and Zinger could meet. Now, I've provided Cap'n Shack-Fu with Bubblegum Tate's phone number since Tate lives not too far from where Shack-Fu is stationed. The next step: having representatives from three different groups converge. Zinger has expressed concern that such crossing of blog monkey groups could cause some sort of rift in space and time, but I think we've concluded that as long as he and Bizarro-Zinger never meet, we should be okay.
  

*PigPen and Squiggly's Sis can testify to the load cracking sound it made when it happened, as well as to the not-nice-words which escaped from my mouth at the same time
**Both of which are just far enough away for me to be in denial about them
***I know there aren't many horror fans among you blog monkeys, but for those who are, I highly, highly recommend Behind the Mask. Funny and creepy, self-referential without being over-indulgent; think I might have just enough to say about it to resurrect Movie Monday next week . . . maybe.

Fragmented Friday is also a Frilly's Friday!

• Every once in a blue moon, Zinger's work schedule allows him to pass through Denton on his way back from Bridgeport around noon or so; on these occasions, we get together at one of my favorite restaurants in town, Frilly's. Today is such a day.
  
  
• Not too long ago Li'l Random was talking about how his friends from high school were bugging him to start up a MySpace page; knowing that he also goes by the nickname Lazy Bum, I was pretty sure he was never going to do it on his own, so I created a profile for him; he expressed his appreciation, and I sent him the email and password I'd used so that he could change them over to his own. Of course, being a Lazy Bum*, he hasn't looked at it since I initially showed it to him. Feeling a bit bored, and needing to find a way to amuse myself to keep my mind of the soap opera that my life recently become, I decided to spruce the page up a bit. If you hurry, you might get to see it before he does.
  
  
• Speaking of ways to keep my mind off of my soap opera style problems, I have discovered that practicing my karate techniques and kata is highly therapeutic.
  
  
• Last night Cap'n Shack-Fu organized a Caravan of Love to help Fluffy move from Lewisville to Denton; I think poor Fluffy was torn between gratitude at the help and exasperation over the fact that HyperForce 3000 was operating at full hyperactive steam.
  
  
• Upon hearing last night about my MySpace tinkering on Li'l Random's behalf, Cap'n Bubbles tried to lay a guilt trip on me because I had found time to make a MySpace page for Li'l Random but hadn't found time to add her to the Cast List. However, she apparently didn't consider a couple of things. First of all, I am a slave to my creative muse, and that muse lent me inspiration for a gag MySpace page before it did a substantial Cast List entry, and so that is what I did. Second of all, the surest way to make sure I don't get inspiration for something is to try to guilt trip me about it. Don't worry, you shall be added, Cap'n Bubbles; just don't know when.
  
  
• Tomorrow morning I'll be going to a "takedown and submissions" seminar in Carollton put on by my karate class. PigPen had been planning on going as well, but is now going to be in Oklahoma for the next few days. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, if he went to it then he would be able to help me remember everything they cover, since he tends to pick up on the physical stuff faster than I do. On the other hand, there's a part of me that's relieved that he won't be there to possibly learn new ways to beat up on me. But the gripping hand is that, since this is basically grappling, he probably knows a good deal of it anyway, and all that this is going to do is reduce the amount by which I get my butt kicked when I succumb to my self-destructive urge to pick fights with him. Of course, then there's the fear that if I do improve my skills, he'll just go "Ooo, Todd is putting up more of a fight now, time to stop going easy on him!'
  
  
• While Cap'n Shack-Fu and I were sparring in the pool on Saturday, he was taking it slow and easy, trying to talk me through different tactics. At one point he was saying something about how with my size I should be able to do some damage, to which I replied "Is that a fat joke?" Poor Shack got this shocked look on his face, and dropped his guard, at which point I lunged at him and was able to make me first successful dunking of an opponent of the day. Using psychological warfare to my advantage: probably my favorite memory of the weekend. To commemorate this, I have approximately 347 more occasions in the following week to accuse Shack-Fu of making fat jokes; it just never gets old. Well, not for me, anyway . . .

*Well, there's also the fact that he hasn't gotten Internet service at his new house yet, but I prefer the "Lazy Bum" theory

The Long Weekend

I am exhausted.

Spent the bulk of Saturday helping Li'l Random move into his new house, and then most of the moving crew headed over to Squiggly's apartment complex to swim for a few hours, said swimming becoming much more strenuous after Cap'n Shack-Fu decided that he was going to teach me some water defense techniques -- in other words, water wrestling. After that we all headed back to my place to watch movies and stayed up visiting until around 1 in the morning. Then on Sunday got up early for church, then a group of us headed out to Lake Ray Roberts to spend the afternoon with Mr. and Mrs. Smooth Money on their recently purchased pontoon boat. Our lake adventure was cut a bit short when the boat died on us and we had to get a tow back to the loading dock, so after that we headed back to Squiggly's, invited several of the other Singles who hadn't been able to make it out to the lake, and had a little pool party, even though only three or four of us did any actual swimming. This time in the pool PigPen decided to first wear me out by inventing a water polo-ish game before then stalking towards me and saying "Let's see what all you learned from Shack-Fu last night." So then after getting my butt thoroughly kicked and my head repeatedly dunked in front of a large group of on-lookers, it wasn't long before everyone headed home. The Boys of Benjiman Street stayed up watching the tape of The Ultimate Fighter finale which led, in a roundabout way, to PigPen giving me some wrestling pointers. Then last night Squiggly and I headed down to Flower Mound to catch an extra session of our karate lessons, which was pretty cool because it was a smaller group and I wound up getting some one on one instruction in which I finally got some positive feedback and constructive criticism. However, doing the cardio, running through the techniques, and practicing my kata nonstop for over half an hour in a poorly air-conditioned room while wearing the heat-trapping gi took what little energy I had left after the rest of the weekend and sucked it right out of me.

Like I said: I'm exhausted.

But I'd do it all over again.

Fragmented Friday - Slow News Day

As you may have surmised, I did manage to survive my first week of karate class. While I was not the quickest study among the four first time students (that, of course, was PigPen), neither was I the slowest study. Of course, I'm still not sure if our instructor didn't say much to me because I was doing everything correctly, or because I was doing everything less incorrectly than others.

On Wednesday night, the Cap'n Bumper sponsored softball team Last Place finally lived up to his goal for the name to be highly ironic, as they totally demolished any and all competition to take first place in their league, winning the championship game 15-0. And now, they can take a much deserved break until the next round of softball starts . . . next week.

My mood has been all over the place the last week or so, thanks to somebody's totally innocent comment reverberating with one of those deep-seated complexes which trigger my self-consciousness and self-doubt and self-loathing and self-[insert negative action here]. The worst thing about those moments is that I know the person didn't mean anything by their comment, and I know that I shouldn't let it bother me, and yet, the downward spiral defies all logic. Luckily, I have good friends who are more than willing to slap me upside the head* and drag me kicking and screaming out of my funk.

I'm actually pretty happy with my entry for the latest round of Write in the Thick of It, all things considered. I actually got my initial draft done by Friday, and when I went back for a round of revision I wound up changing very little. Now, I'm sure if I were to revisit it in a week or so I would find all sorts of clunky phrasings and shallow character moments that will set my teeth on edge and make me wonder how in the world I could submit such slop, but until then, I'm happy. Diva should have this round's entries (which include one from first time contributor Maverick) posted sometime today.


*For once, the head-slapping was not courtesy of PigPen, who was fortunate enough to be out of state or otherwise occupied through most of this round of the roller coaster ride that is my mental state.

Random Is as Random Does

All righty, this one may be a tad lengthy, but I'm in total stream of consciousness mode here. I blame all the time I spent hanging out with fellow Odd Squodder Li'l Dill the past few days; he's randomized my brain!

• I mentioned recently that I want to change Li'l Dill's nickname into something that fits him better, and reserve the pickle-related nick for those rare occasions when it might seem fitting. Unfortunately, while Li'l Dill is still the Nickname Magnet, most of those nicknames are highly specialized and only brought out when appropriate. Right now, I'm leaning towards something along the lines of Professor Random or the Randomizer or something equally unoriginal utilizing some form of "random."
  
  
• For those of you wondering, I now provide shoddy photographic evidence of my new car
  
  I know it doesn't have quite as much, um, "character" as The Blue Beast
  
  but I'm sure after a few years of my tender neglect, it will. I have yet to come up with a name for the car; my favorite suggestion so far is The Great White Hope, courtesy of The Anti-Cap'n, but somehow that doesn't feel quite right.
  
  
• Speaking of names and The Anti-Cap'n: much like with The Great Randomini, I've long been searching for a more appropriate nick for The A.C., but have long been stymied. As long as I'm shaking things up for Pan's Randomoso, I figured I'd push forward with a new nick for my roomie. Top options are his video game handle (Lord Nykon), his MySpace handle (Gemini), his intended softball handle (Maverick), or a nice combo (Anti-Cap'n Lord Nykon, the Gemini Maverick). I am undecided.
  
  
• Trouble called me from Colorado (where she's currently in training to be a rafting guide for the summer) the day after my surprise party to see how it all went. She asked me if the party-goers had been dressed up as super-heroes; I immediately asked "Was that Random McRandomson or Cap'n Shack-Fu's suggestion?" She confirmed my suspicion that the idea was courtesy of The Random Avenger. It's too bad that they didn't follow through on that idea, because while I might have suspected a party being thrown in my honor, walking into a room filled with caped crusaders would have caught me totally off-guard.
  
  
• Sunday night I had dinner with One of My Favorite Random Generators in the World^tm and his pal B.B., and if my side hadn't already been hurting after my latest grappling match with PigPen* it would have been after B.B. got done regaling me with his tales of how Random McEvil only plays the nice guy at church, when in fact he is the devil. That little piece of performance art is worthy of a blog post in and of itself, but I mention it now in passing just to comment on how cathartic the non-stop laughter was. Trust me; after the last few weeks, I needed pain-inducing laughter.
  
  
• Only a few more days until karate classes start up; I'm hoping that my current injuries and slow-healing nature don't cause me too much of a problem. I don't know if I've really conveyed how big of a deal this is for me; for most people, it's just signing up for a karate class, but for me it's signing up for a class where at times I'm going to be basically put on display and judged for how well I'm doing in a physical activity. Voluntarily putting myself in this position is a major step for me, which is why when people react to the news by snickering, guffawing, or laughing hysterically while they ask "Can I come and watch?", well, it kind of makes me see red, as well as question the wisdom of going through with it. I know it's not meant maliciously, and I know I've brought it on myself with my many years of physical inactivity, but that doesn't make it any easier for my self-doubting and self-loathing nature to take. Regardless, I'm still planning on going through with it; time will tell how wise a decision that really is.
  
  
• Last night Squiggly, her younger sister, Anti-Cap'n Lord Nykon the Maverick Gemini, and I went out to watch PigPen's Monday night softball team finally start their play-offs, but it was difficult to enjoy the game thanks to a swarm of the most aggressive mosquitoes I've ever seen. Squiggly came prepared with pest repellent, but unfortunately the can was practically empty and did little to deter the flying bloodsuckers. Now, I don't know if it's from getting caught in the rain before the game while talking to Captain Random at the gym, standing out in the open air where allergens could assail me, being eaten alive by what Squiggly called Africanized Attack Mosquitoes, or the accidental inhaling and ingestion of the ineffective bug spray, but something in my activities last night has left me feeling a bit sickly.
  
  
• Despite being bruised, battered, bitten, possibly broken, and consumed with overall "blah," I'm actually in a remarkably good mood, all things considered; probably the best mood I've been in since the unfortunate tailbone-busting incident weeks ago. And I have my friends to thank for it; over the last few days I've had a chance to sit down with a few of the guys and work through some of the stuff that's been dragging me down into the dumps that past month or so. Now I've corrected some misunderstandings (on both my part and on others), been slapped upside the head for acting like a self-defeating dumbass (yeah, that was mainly courtesy of PigPen), and in general just had reaffirmed that in the grand scheme of things I am truly a lucky and blessed individual. We'll just have to see how long this positive state lasts this time around; PigPen has already said he couldn't possibly pencil in dealing with another of my neurotic breaks until at least mid-July, so I guess I'll have to hold it together at least until then.
  
  
• How better to end this random ramblings than with our very own Captain Random's theme song**
  

Captain Random
Odd Squodd weirdo
His non sequitur's will
Make your mind blow
Randomness personified
And his twisted mind his only guide


Yeah, one of these days Li’l Random is going to snap, and it’s all going to be my fault; at least I know that when I do push him over the edge, my subsequent death will be committed in a terribly original and surprising way, 'cause that's how the Random Raider rolls.

*Yes, that's right, hurt myself again; think I'm going to change my name to Cap'n Injury Prone.
**Sung to this tune

"I've Got a Proposition for You": an Excerpt from The Boys of Benjiman Street

As we join the scene* already in progress, "THE LOVABLE" PIGPEN (who is chauffeuring his carless roomie, CAP'N NEUROTIC , to work) has just landed a verbal jab at the CAP'N's expense.

CAP'N: You now, I was thinking about suggesting that your birthday gift to me be letting me punch you in the face four or five times --

PIGPEN: [turns an incredulous look on the Cap'n]

CAP'N: -- but then I remembered how close your birthday is, and feared the retribution.

PIGPEN: [incredulity transforms into wistful joy] Hey, how about this? For your birthday, we box, and I let you win. For my birthday, we box -- and I don't.

CAP'N: [sarcastically] Sounds really tempting . . .

PIGPEN: [excitedly] Ooo, ooo, wait, I've got it, here's an even better proposition for you. For your birthday, we box, and I let you win. For my birthday: mixed martial arts. [evil grin]

CAP'N: Oh, yeah, that sounds much better.

PIGPEN: C'mon; we'll do best two out of three. [evil grin widens]

CAP'N: Well, I suppose by the time your birthday rolls around I might have a month's worth of karate** to keep you from killing me quite so quickly.

PIGPEN: [shakes his head in a "no, still going to kill you pretty quickly" sort of way]

CAP'N: [quietly weighs the joys of punching PigPen in the here and now against the months in traction that would be sure to follow]



*It's exchanges like this that make me sad my folks won't get a chance to meet PigPen and the gang this weekend
**Yes, I'm thinking of taking karate this summer, thanks to the suggestions of the green-belted Squiggly; of course, so is PigPen, so you can probably expect tales of violent injuries on the blog to increase as we use each other as practice dummies