NaNoWriMo Year 2

As I mentioned before, last November I took part in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo) for the second time, and once again was successful in meeting the goal of writing 50,000 words in 30 days. The experience was a little bit different this time around for a few reasons.

First of all, I didn't start off with a massive lead like I did the first year. Part of this was because in Year 1 the 1st of November fell on a Saturday, giving me a full weekend's worth of virtually uninterrupted writing, whereas Year 2 fell on a Sunday. Add onto that the fact that I was sick that whole weekend* -- plus I didn't have the extra incentive of trying to build a buffer to allow for moving like I did in Year 1 -- and I never had the commanding word count lead this time around. Of course, not being thousands of words ahead of everyone else did reduce the amount of death threats I received from fellow participants, so that was a bit of a bonus.

Probably the biggest difference between Year 1 and Year 2 was the type of story I was trying to tell. Not in subject matter, but in structure and complexity. Year 1's effort, Gateway Drug, was, with the exception of an epilogue, told entirely from the perspective of the main character. As such, I was able to to just let the story unfold organically, following Panic** through his misadventures as they occurred to me. However, with Year 2's effort, tentatively (very tentatively) titled Talent on the Rise, I started out with four different sets of characters in four different locations and then had to figure out how I was going to do justice to each of their individual arcs and still bring them all together for the climax without forcing it or resorting to a deus ex machina. So, a few more balls to juggle this time around.

Along those lines, when writing Gateway Drug, I honestly had no idea how it was going to end. The beginning was crystal clear in my head, but until I started writing, I didn't have a clue where Panic was going to wind up. With Talent on the Rise*** however, I had an idea of where I wanted it to start, and how I wanted it to end, but very little idea of how to get from point A to point B.

Then there was the interference from my borderline-OCD which flared up when I was trying to structure the rotating P.O.V.s in the story. After some fits and starts, I finally wound up deciding to have it rotate not just between the four locations, but also between the protagonists and antagonists. So, I'd have a chapter from the P.O.V. from a character from Location 1, followed by a brief interlude with the P.O.V. of an antagonist somehow connected to Location 1; then the next chapter would be the P.O.V. of a character from Location 2, followed by an antagonist interlude; and so on for Locations 3 and 4, at which point it would loop back around to Location 1. This worked out well at first, and actually forced me to flesh out the characterization and motivation of the antagonists, which was a definite bonus. Unfortunately, as some portions of the story zipped towards the climax more quickly than others, and I had to find ways to make one group of characters mark time until the other groups could catch up, it became cumbersome. But I was committed to it at that point, and so persevered until I reached the word goal and stopped, even though the story wasn't even close to done yet.

And yes, that's another difference between Year 1 and 2; in Year 1 I brought the story to an ending, even if it was very cliff-hanger-ish, but with Year 2 I pass the target word count and said "That's enough for now" and took a break . . . a break which is still going, even though I'd planned to resume writing again over Christmas break. I do want to finish the story, if for no other reason than this story has lived in my head in one way, shape, or form since I was in 6th grade, and I really, really, really need to get it out of there. I just hope I can find motivation to do so sometime before next November.


*Being sick that weekend meant I missed out on the Singles Halloween party on Friday and the church's Carnival 31 festivities on Saturday for the first time since2003.
**Yes, the character's name is Panic
***Man, I hate that title; as placeholder titles go, it's okay, but I really want to come up with something else.

"No NaNoWriMo" No Mo'

So, you know how this blog's update schedule has devolved from a steady stream of at least 5 posts a week to an uneven, erratic, who can guess when it'll be updated again mess? Well, prepare for it to get worse for a while.

"Worse?" you say? "How can it possibly get any worse? And, perhaps more importantly, why?" Well, the answer to the why can be summed up in one word: NaNoWriMo.*

Okay, so technically that's just an abbreviation for four words and not a real word itself, but my point stands: this year I'm planning on taking part in National Novel Writing Month, and there's a good chance that when the time comes for something to get thrown under the bus to make time for what is sure to be a major obsession for me, the blog posts will be one of the first things to go; I'm sure many long-term blog monkeys will have TOFKAP/In a Cabin flashbacks.

Now, some of you may remember that last year I listed my reasons for avoiding NaNoWriMo, and if so are probably asking "What's changed?"

Not much, to be honest. I still feel like the full-steam-ahead, no-editing-for-a-month approach may drive me crazy; I'm still not happy about the timing which will interfere with Sweeps and Thanksgiving; and I'm still leery about the deleterious effect taking part in the event will have on my mental health and social life -- although with PigPen and Cap'n Peanut down in Lewisville, Li'l Random traveling constantly for work, and Cap'n Shack-Fu being this close to heading off to Quantico that whole social life thing isn't as big of an issue as it was last year. Honestly, there's no way I could have pulled off NaNoWriMo when I was rooming with PigPen -- the distraction factor would have been way too high**. But I digress.

Honestly, the biggest factor in getting me to do this is that it hit me recently that it's been almost three full years since I wrote In a Cabin and, outside of my few meager contributions to the now defunct Write in the Thick of It challenge, my fiction writing output is pretty much zilch. Yeah, I sketched a few follow-up story ideas here and there, but in terms of a full-blown finished product, pretty much bupkis. And since it looks like the odds of me ever getting off my metaphorical butt and writing anything other than rambling blog posts and neurotic emails without some sort external motivating factor are slim to none, I decided that shackling myself to the NaNoWriMo paradigm and putting myself up for all other NaNoWriMo participants to encourage, pester, and mock as needs be would be just the kick in the pants I needed.

Now, at first the prospect of writing 50,000 words in 30 days sounds daunting, until you consider the fact that I finished the over-65,000 word In a Cabin in about the same amount of time -- an effort that included time for re-writes and editing and constructive criticism, not to mention the basic conceptualization. That last bit won't be quite as burdensome, as I already have an idea in mind:a semi-sequel to the two "Talent" stories from In a Cabin featuring Panic, a character from my story Deprecations on the Themed. The tentative titled is The Gateway Drug, but that's subject to change depending on if the initial story idea I have is meaty enough to sustain 50,000 words, or if I'll have to fill in some gaps between the In a Cabin stories and Panic's story via flashbacks.

Probably the biggest difference from In a Cabin is that the goal there was to make a finished, readable product within 30 days. With NaNoWriMo, the only requirement will be that I get the story told in any way possible, clunky writing and wild divergence in style and theme be damned; the clean-up and re-writing will take place in December, a.k.a. Massive Novel Revision Month, or MaNoReMo. Now, that's not part of the typical NaNoWriMo schema -- most folks finish their novel and never want to think about it again -- but you can bet that if I take the time to write a 50,000 word story in November, I will not be able to fully rest until it is suitable for public consumption.

Who knows; some folks might be getting a very bulky and wordy stocking stuff this year for Christmas . . .


*Or, as I'm going to start calling it, MaNoWriMo: Masochistic Novelists' Wretched Month
**Plus, y'know, hard to type with broken fingers . . .

No, No NaNoWriMo

Once again it's National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo for short), and once again some co-workers tried hard to convince me to participate, and once again I said "no."

There are things I like about the idea of setting the goal of writing a novel in a month; heck, that's basically what I did when I wrote In a Cabin in the Woods a couple of years ago.* But there are a couple of things about the NaNoWriMo set-up that serve as a stumbling block for me.

The first is general philosophy of "quantity over quality." For NaNoWriMo purposes, all that matters is meeting that final word count, with no regard to clarity of prose or cohesion of plot or consistency of character or the like; in fact, if you were to follow the NaNoWriMo guidelines strictly, there would be absolutely no editing or rewriting during the course of the month.

That would drive me insane.

Granted, I often used the "just write something to write something" approach on In a Cabin, due to trying to meet my artificially selected due date, but more often than not this would just be a way to storm past the writers block, and I'd then go back and tinker with the clunky stuff to make it work better. But to spend all month just pushing ahead, never looking back . . . *shudder*

The other big stumbling block in the timing; why oh why did they pick November? Not only is there a major holiday which requires major travel time for many -- not to mention all of the Thanksgiving themed activities done with friends before going off to see family -- but it's Sweeps time. Sweeps! The magical month when all of the TV shows trot out their big plot contrivances and over-hyped guest-spots and super-cheesy gimmicks in hopes of briefly sprucing up their number in an antiquated ratings system! How can I write much of anything when the siren call of crass commercialism is clamoring for my attention?

Of course, there's also my borderline-obsessive nature to consider, since it would surely go into full swing if I attempted something like this, which at this point would be a bad thing. I have recently enlisted the aid of my fellow HyperForcers to keep my on track with my goal to get in shape; the last thing I need is something else sticking me behind the computer screen for even more hours each day.

And, every time I start to waver in my resolve and think "maybe I can play catch-up," I listen to my coworkers discuss how stressed they are because their novels aren't turning out the way they want, and they really want to go back and edit, and there just isn't enough time in the day to get everything done, and then the certainty that I've made the right call is reestablished.



*Man, it's hard to believe that was two years ago; how time flies, eh?

Time to Vote

The latest round of the Write in the Thick of It writing challenge is now open for voting. There are a whopping 11 entries this time, including a few of my family members and roomie PigPen. Oh, and me, of course, returning to the super-hero well yet again.

Pleaes, head on over here when you have a chance and vote for your favorite story.

Do You Dare to Enter the Nation of HIllmomba?

The next round of the Write in the Thick of It writing challenge (entitled "The Nation of Hillmomba") is now open. The key words for this round are:

faux pas
taunted
handbasket
limerick
dumbfounded
freak
scathingly
cronies

Any and all entries are welcomed; my dream for the challenge is for the number of contributers to reach double digits sometime before the year 2929.

This round closes on Saturday, April 21st, so let's get a-writin', people!

Super Tiger Dragon Edition Unleashed!

The entries for the Super Tiger Dragon Edition of the Write in the Thick of It writing challenge are now up here. My own humble entry is a bit of a departure from my round one effort; be curious to see how the change from mild comedy to mild superheroics pans out for me. We have three other returning writers in Cazzie, Hillbilly Mom, and Bubblegum Tate, as well as a newcomer, Mrs. E., a.k.a mi madre. We should have had a couple more entries at least, but both Diva and PigPen had their plans derailed by the vagaries of life; maybe next time, huh?

Anyway, head on over to Write in the Thick of It and vote for your favorite story

Super Tiger Dragon Deadline Super Tiger Dragon Looming

Just a reminder to those who wish to compete in the Write in the Thick of It writing challenge for this week; the deadline is Thursday, April 5, at 8 PM Central. Be sure to get those shiny entries in so that we can have a plethora of entries; otherwise, a flummoxed Diva might have to relieve her frustration in the normal fashion: unleashing a cacophony of curses like unto a cloudburst. But, if you're a lazy monkey and miss the deadline by a bit, don't worry, I'm sure you can finesse your way around it.

Writing Challenge: Super Tiger Dragon Edition

The second round of the Write in the Thick of It writing challenge is now open. For those of you who don't know, I pulled out a victory in round one by the skin of my teeth, narrowly edging out Bubblegum Tate and Diva who were nipping at my heels. As winner of the challenge, it was my privilege to select the random words for round two, which you can find right here. Of course, the words aren't totally random, as three were selected in honor of fellow HyperForce 3000 members, and the very last one I pretty much had to include for all of you blog monkeys out there.

Remember, this challenge is open to anyone and everyone who would like to stretch their creative muscles. This round is open until 8PM Central on April 5th, so you'd better get a crackin'.

Challenge One is Done

The first batch of stories for Diva's writing challenge are now up at the official writing challenge blog, Write in the Thick of It. There are entries from CoIM frequenters such as Diva and Bubblegum Tate; entries from frequenters of Diva's blog such as Hillbilly Mom, Cazzie, and Lisa; and, of course, an entry by yours truly. Please take a few minutes to head on over, read the stories, and vote for your favorite; don't feel any pressure to vote for me just because you're all loyal blog monkeys, just vote for whichever one you think is the best.

Getting the Words Out

I mentioned last week that Diva is trying to organize a weekly writing challenge; well, yesterday she posted the first set of words for the challenge. So, if you'd like a chance to flex your creative muscles, head on over there, give the words a look, and let the composition start percolating in your head.

I, meanwhile, will now head back upstairs and resume me effort to catch up on sleep after my roadtrip to Austin to help out Papa Lightbulb with the first preview service of his church plant.

Critical Thinking

While a part of me feels strange talking about In a Cabin in the Woods so much, this blog is supposed to be a record of the rambling thought that go through my head, and as those who've been in close contact with me for the last couple of months can tell you, while working on Cabin there wasn't room for much of anything else in there. So, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that, while not always at the forefront of my brain now, it still occupies much of my idle thoughts.

When it comes to writing, I think I'm very much in the Stephen King school; by that I mean that the way I write the stories is very much like how he's described his own writing process, wherein the characters sort of take over and lead him down paths he had never expected. I definitely am not comparing myself to him in terms of my writing skill or ability to write a suitably chilling horror story, as Flunky will be glad to tell you.

Oh, did I forget to mention that I got feedback from Flunky? Yup, we chatted online the other night; he was very forthright in listing all of the many, many flaws he saw in the piece. As for the positives, he was very complimentary of the bits of poetry I came up with and . . . well, that's about it. Oh, wait, he also said he was in awe of how much I wrote. So, to recap: I’m a wordy bastage who should stick to poetry.

Remind me again why I wanted feedback?


Okay, before we go any further, let me preface it with this: are there any words scarier to the potential recipient of criticism than "let me preface it with this?" Yes, the preface statement is generally of a positive note, but it's also usually an "okay, here's a little bit of nicety up front that you can look back on fondly while I rip the heart and soul out of your work" sort of thing. Well-intentioned, but occasionally nerve-wracking. I mention this because so far two of my reviewers have started thusly; I felt like I was on the Superman ride at Six Flags, the sinking feeling hit my stomach so hard. If you'll notice, I kind of subverted the standard use of the preface statement above; I'm a rebel, I am!

It took me a few days to decide whether I wanted to talk about my chat with Flunky: on the one hand, it pretty much consumed my thoughts for the next day or so, which makes it prime blogging material. On the other hand, I was afraid that my talking about it might come across as (a) Flunky bashing (b) passive aggression (c) fishing for compliments (d) all of the above (e) insert own negative connotation here. But the gripping hand is, it was either indulge in some cathartic blogging or drown in my own cycle of composition. So, after taking a couple of days to gather my thoughts, here we are.

One thing I want to stress here, if just because experience has taught that people tend to read the worst intentions in my work (which I suppose shows what they think of me, but that's a paranoia to be chased some other time), and I really don't want this to be one of those times, so, please, bear this in mind: the purpose of this post it to explore my reaction to criticism in general, using my discussion with Flunky as an example; this is in no way, shape, or form a condemnation of Flunky or his critical appraisal of my work.

Now that that's out of the way, on to the evisceration of my pride and joy!

All kidding aside, Flunky's critique of Cabin was exactly what I was wanting: an honest reaction, pointing out what he saw as the problem spots. Flunky basically said "these are the problems/questions I had as the reader": example A was clunky, example B was confusing, example C was annoying, example D used "dirt" instead of "soil*," etc., etc. I can't say that I agreed with all of his points, but I was able to see where he was coming from on most of them. Would I have been happier if the positives outweighed the negatives? Well, of course, I'm not that big of a masochist. But, better truthful criticism than phony praise; or, so I keep trying to convince myself . . .

Although he had something critical to say about every story save one (which I suspect just slipped his mind), the bulk of the problems he addressed centered around one story in particular; for now I'll leave it to those who've read Cabin to guess which story holds this honor. To be honest, the singling out of one story didn't surprise me: it was the story which I had previously described as the one I was the least happy with. It also (not coincidentally, I'm sure) was the first story I finished. I was never fully satisfied with it, but I was so fixated on getting the other stories written by my deadline that I never found the time/energy to do much editing or revision. I had convinced myself that it was fine as is; I now know better.

Since the critique was done through IM, I had a chance to respond to his comments as they came along; that's an awkward situation in and of itself. I had to make some sort of response, lest he start to think that I was ticked off and sulking, so I found myself overloading my responses with emoticons to make sure they didn't come across as a kind of "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" style reply; the perils of online communication and its lack of verbal and physical cues. I read each reply three or four times before hitting "send," analyzing it to an insane degree; was I being too defensive? Too flippant? Too touchy? Too too? Yes, the neurosis was in full swing. The advantage of the conversational format was that I was able to prod for clarification on some points; of course, the downside is that there were a couple of conversational deviations that detoured us from the matter at hand, a problem that wouldn't have occurred with an emailed review.

Some of Flunky's criticisms were accompanied by suggestions for ways to "fix" the problems; I don't think there was a single one that made me go "yes, that's the answer, well done, my friend, well done!" In fact, most of them provoked more of a "no, that would never work, never, do you hear me?!?!" reaction. Not because the ideas were bad, per se, but because they didn't gel with my (for lack of a better (and less pompous) word) "vision." Not to mention my tendency towards "sorry, if it's not my idea, I can't use it" behavior; call it pride, call it stubbornness, call it fierce independence, call it borderline OCD, stick a feather in its hat and call it macaroni; I'm sure there's bits of truth in each of them. Well, except that macaroni bit. Flunky would say "You could do this," and I would callously brush off his well-intentioned advice with a high-handed "But that doesn't feel right," only to follow it up with a "But what does feel right is this" response. So, while his suggestions themselves may not have taken root, they did spur my thoughts in other directions.

Following the demolishing of my ego, I jokingly told Flunky I was going to go and cry myself to sleep; his response was “Don’t you do that every night?” Touché, my friend, touché. And while I wasn’t quite an emotional wreck, I have to admit that the whole process left me . . . I don’t want to say “upset,” which carries a connotation of anger which doesn’t fit. Depressed? Out of sorts? Beside myself? Something along those lines; as welcome as the criticism was in terms of self-improvement, there’s just something about having one’s shortcomings enumerated that takes the wind out of one’s sails. Unpleasant as it is, it’s a necessary evil: without constructive critiques, I would never have an opportunity to truly improve my writing.

I haven't been able to work up the nerve to give Cabin a good once-over after talking with Flunky, but I fully plan on it; right now I'm regretting sending Cabin out to as many people as I have in its less-than-perfect condition. Of course, if I waited for perfection, nobody would ever get a chance to read it. Although, that would mean that nobody would ever critique it either . . . hmm, maybe I'm on to something here . . .

Oh, who am I trying to kid? We all know that I’m too big of an attention whore to keep from shoving my stuff in people’s faces.

*Trust me, if you know Flunky well, the dirt/soil thing is hilarious; I only wish I'd done it on purpose. I prefer my Flunky-baiting to be done intentionally.

Return of the Rambling, or " . . . and Knowing Is Half the Battle"

While I am not yet ready to make it available to anyone and everyone who could stumble across the blog, I have slowly started to distribute TOFKAP to various friends and family members; primarily those who (a) are the most likely to read that sort of genre anyway or (b) have been the most interested in/pestered me the most about TOFKAP. Oh, and for those of you wondering, the title of TOFKAP is In a Cabin in the Woods, which I will probably refer to as Cabin from here on out rather than TOFKAP. Until, y'know, I get struck by the urge to call it something else. Anyway, the whole process has been an interesting one on several levels, but now as I wait to hear feedback from the latest round of readers, I find myself pondering my reasons for writing in the first place.


First of all, I write primarily for myself; I also write because I have no choice. Ideas pop into my head and refuse to fully disperse until I see them through to their inevitable conclusion. Sometimes they can get submerged for a time, but they always come bobbing back up to the surface. Take for example the second and fourth stories in Cabin: some of the characters in them have been living in my head since I was in elementary school; the basic plot of the second story has remained mainly unchanged since Junior High; the first written draft was attempted on my ride back from a leadership conference in Breckenridge, CO my Senior year; the next draft was started about 8 years later, while I was waiting to do my interview for my first job at UNT; and now, it's finally complete. Sort of. But, more on that some other time. The important thing here is that most of this was just stuff that I did to entertain myself, composing it all in my head but rarely taking the time and energy to put it into print. Which, in retrospect, is a good thing; when I think back to the early "drafts" of these stories, I cringe.

So, yes, I write primarily for myself; and yet, at the same time, I almost always feel compelled to share my writing with others. Why is that? Is it a desire to entertain others? A search for validation? A masochistic streak? I can't say with any certainty, but I do know that for some reason, my compositions don't feel "real" to me until they've been shared with somebody else. This goes for anything I write, from fiction to movie/TV reviews to cathartic unloading of psychological baggage. Until I get confirmation that it's been experienced by another person, it's not truly complete. That's one of the reasons I started the blog, so I could have an easy venue for distributing my ramblings, one which, ideally, would encourage others to engage in some sort of give and take.

Now we get into the tricky part of the relationship between reader/writer; the giving and receiving of feedback. You have no idea how gratifying it was to find out that people were actually reading the blog; you see, no matter how much my writings amuse and entertain me, I have a hard time convincing myself that they'll do the same for others. So, to find out that others were not only reading my ramblings, but enjoying them, was surprising and fulfilling at the same time. Of course, knowing that it was a bit of a success just ramped up my fear of eventual failure since I now had a standard to maintain, but hey, if I didn't have something to obsess over I wouldn't be worthy of the name Cap'n Neurotic, now would I? Still, when it comes to blog-feedback, I tend not to obsess as much as I might on other things; I know Dr. G'ovich isn't a huge fan of my TV Tuesday posts, but I also know there are at least three regular readers who are, so it balances out. I do worry that the sporadic quality of my posting during the last couple of months due to distraction with Cabin might have alienated some of the blog monkeys, but really, there was nothing I could do about that; practically every waking moment not spent at work or church was consumed with working through the ins and outs of my experiment in writing. It was a strange feeling; after such a long time of writing primarily for myself, I found myself in a situation where I was also writing for others on a daily basis; but then I was suddenly thrust back into writing primarily for myself again, and the writing for others suffered for it. It shouldn't have bothered me so much; I doubt there's a single regular blog monkey who isn't a personal friend, co-worker, or family member, and I'm not getting any recompense for this outside of the warm fuzzies generated by knowing I'm providing a small bit of entertainment (or at the very least mild distraction) to others. But I felt like I'd entered into some sort of social contract, and by skimping on the blogging I was breaking that contract and letting people down. Yes, I have issues.

Back to the matter which got this rambling started: In a Cabin in the Woods. As you now know, it started out as a surprise Christmas gift for Flunky, which is one of the reasons I was so secretive about it on the blog. But as Cap'ns Cluck and Disaster can tell you, I was also secretive about it in real life as well. Why? Hard to say; I think in the beginning it was a fear that I wouldn't be able to pull it off like I wanted, that it would be derailed by writer's block or burnout or lack of talent or something else; by not disclosing the exact details I was protecting myself from dashing other's expectations. There was also a bit of "what if they think it sounds like a stupid idea?" working there. Honestly, for that first week or two, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to share the full details of what I was doing with more than a handful of people. But, as I dove into it more, and became more convinced that this was something that I was going to be able to pull off with some level of success, I started to broaden the circle of who knew about it. There was little rhyme or reason to why I shared with some people and not with others; I was working totally on gut instinct there. That was when I recruited my dad and Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate into being test-readers; Wrath teh Berzerkr later volunteered himself as the third after I asked for his opinion on some of the names and terms I made up for the final story. Of course, my dad was the only one who read the whole thing and gave me much in the way of feedback before I sent Cabin to Clan Flunky.

From the instant I sent off the first portion of the first draft to anyone, I was on pins and needles waiting for feedback; it’s one thing to put up some random bit of rambling on the blog each day, but to try to create a world out of whole cloth, complete with fully realized characters and a plot that isn't filled with logical inconsistencies and holes you can drive a Mack truck through, well, that's a horse of a different color. That nervousness has doubled and trebled with each copy I've sent out; I both crave and dread feedback. What sort of response will constitute a happy ending for me? Will I be satisfied as long as the positive reactions outnumber the negative, even if only by one? Or will I let even a single negative reaction harsh my buzz? Should I give more weight to certain opinions over others? How should I take a complaint held by one person if nobody else echoes it? Most importantly, in the end, which is more important: satisfying myself, or satisfying the reader?

So far, I've received substantial feedback from three people, all positive, for the most part. I mean, I can't really complain about someone saying that they read all 117 pages in one night because it was such a compelling read, can I? Another of the reviewers was very straightforward about what she thought did and didn't work, which I appreciated; most of the cons she pointed out were things which had concerned me as I was writing, with maybe one point of criticism taking me by surprise. Still, at this point I think having three people who've enjoyed it overall counts as a moral victory of sorts. Of course, it’s easy to say that when I haven’t received any overwhelmingly negative feedback . . .

I realize that Cabin isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, one of the pitfalls of a portmanteau* piece partaking of different styles and genres. After reading one story (which is very much of the horror genre), my mom proclaimed that she knew she should have made me read more Hardy Boys when I was younger instead of Stephen King. In a similar vein, Flunky Lover told me that she wasn't as thrilled with the horror-tinged stories as she was the others, since that's not something she typically enjoys. I think that's one of the things that's going to interest me the most; finding out which stories were enjoyed by which readers, and why.

I've been asked by a few people about what sort of feedback I'm looking for, to which I have replied, "I dunno." Before sending it off to Flunky I was mainly concerned with whether it all made sense to anyone besides myself; after Dad finished it all and said it made sense to him, that took care of that. So, what sort of feedback should you give me? Whatever you want to tell me, as long as it's truthful; not looking for false praise here. Just want to say you liked it? Fine. Want to shower me with praises? Double fine. Want to tell me that you didn't care for it, and here's exactly where I went wrong? I'm bracing myself even as we speak; honestly, as long as it's a bit more substantial than just saying "This stinks!” I'm game. Don’t want to say anything at all? That’s your prerogative; I really only want to hear back from you if you feel compelled to share. Okay, that's a lie: I always want to hear back from anyone who reads anything write (compulsive need for validation, don’tcha know), but if you don't want to, I promise I won't hold it against you. Much. As for how to share your thoughts, feel free to email, IM, phone, and/or ambush me face-to-face; I’ll strive to take both praise and criticism graciously.

Now, if you’re one of those who has not been selected to receive a copy of Cabin, but would like to subject yourself to a series of horror, SF, and fantasy stories penned by yours truly, then please, feel free to pester me, and I’ll see about maybe hooking you up.

All right, that went on a lot longer than I had planned, and veered into directions I hadn’t anticipated; Cap’n Rambling is back!



*portmanteau: term used to describe a work consisting of several shorter stories with a common linking device which often serves as a final full story in its own right; popular format for horror films, particularly the Amicus films of the 70s; Stephen King’s Creepshow, Creepshow 2 and Cat’s Eye are some more recent examples. Now you know . . .

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I have been chastised by Zinger for, and I quote, "Really phoning in the blog these past few days." To which, I can offer no excuse other than the one you should already be expecting: the New Obsession.

I guess the New Obsession isn't really all that New anymore, but not sure what else to call it; my Secret Obsession might do, although that sounds like it might be a little naughty and/or dirty. Calling it my Deadline Approaching Obsession, while truthful, is a bit cumbersome. How about my Top Obsession? Primary Obsession? One Obsession to Rule Them All? Actually, I kind of like Primary Obsession, so we'll go with that for now.

What's the status of my Primary Obsession, which is still mostly secret until it’s completed, and maybe even for a while after that? Well, I would say I'm about 85.33% complete with the initial phase, give or take a few percentage points. The P.O. has waxed and waned as my brain has drained and recharged its creative capacity again and again. I'm hopeful that I can get the initial phase finished by the end of the weekend, which should give me plenty of time for revision before the probably-not-so-mysterious-if-you-think-about-it deadline.

The process of working on the P.O. has been an interesting one, on several levels, and I'll talk more about that once the whole thing is over and done with. But one thing that I will mention today is how surprisingly helpful the cassette recorder has been. Honestly, I'm almost sorry that I don't have a huge drive to make anytime soon, since I seem to do some of my best work on the P.O. when I'm on the road. Well, maybe not necessarily my best work, but I do get a lot accomplished. Now if I could just get the hang of transcribing from tape down . . .

One thing that's surprised me about using the tape recorder is how well it has spurred ideas. If I'm sitting at the computer, or sprawled out on my beanbag with my notebook, and find that I've hit a creative dead end, it might take me hours to fight my way through it, staring at the blank screen or paper. But, if I'm driving along, talking to the recorder, taking my mind off the tedium of driving, then I start to brainstorm like crazy. These sessions usually sound like this: "I'm not quite sure how I want to handle A. Do I want A to do B, or do I want A to do C? No, I don't like C, but maybe A could do D? Oh, yeah, and if D, then E, F, G, and H!" Most of my big breakthroughs on the P.O. have come about in this way; the tape recorder now accompanies me everywhere, and I've gotten a few strange looks from the folks at the fast food drive through windows over the last couple of weeks, but I don't really care, since these little jaunts have given me my fair share of ideas. Not nearly as much as the drive to and from Miamuh, or even the drive to and from the Stoneheart residence last weekend, but enough to make it worth my while.

All in all, I'm happy with the way the P.O. is turning out; it's definitely a far different beast now than it was when I was first stricken with my obsessive inspiration last month; whether anyone else will be happy with the finished product, I haven't a clue. With any luck, it won't be too much longer until I find out.

And thus concludes my second “phoning it in” post of the day; hope you enjoyed it.

Thematic Thurs. - You can't manufacture inspirado.

Well, yesterday wasn't quite as productive a day for the Capstone, writing wise, but that's mainly because I had hit the limit of what I could do with the resources on hand, so I had to do some online research, which was a bit time consuming. But the good news is I finished the first essay, and I think I found enough stuff to finish up the other two by tonight. Then I can take Friday off to relax, and do some revision/rewrite stuff this weekend. Which brings us to today's Thinking-out-loud Thursday (Thematic edition) topic: Yesterday's short story.

It's amazing to me how, when I first wrote the two short stories that would eventually combine to form "Moving On" almost 10 years ago, I loved how it turned out, and couldn't bear the thought of changing a single word; and then last night, after reading it for the first time in several years, I was too embarrassed to post it as it was, and did some hasty rewriting. So now, the story is much stronger, IMO, and I'm sure I won't be able to bear the thought of changing any of my additional dialogue for at least another year or two.

In case you were wondering about how "Moving On" came about, it's a semi-sorta-kinda-autobiographical story, inspired by the death of my grandfather my Junior year of college. Some parts are definitely true (my recurring nightmare), some are definitely not (none of my roomies got roped into heading to Miamuh with me), and others are kind of mishmashes (nurse doing a 180 after seeing me in the parking lot and coming out with cop: true. cop knowing who I was and talking to me: false).

As some of the sharper-eyed blog monkeys may have noticed, the nickname given to Josh in the story is identical to one of the nicknames I used to describe one of my roomies in a previous entry, which begs the question: "Are story-Flunky and real-Flunky the same?" Well, as much as I want to write a "Yes, they're both emotional cripples who revel in tormenting others" comment, I shall refrain. Such restraint, no? Anyway, the truth is that the story of a flustered relative being unable to remember my roommate's name and referring to him as Flunky is all they have in common. Except that for real-Flunky substitute "grandma" and "Labor Day" for "Aunt Charla" and "funeral." As a matter of fact, during a recent visit one of my aunts asked me how Flunky was doing, because she couldn't remember his real name. I had totally forgotten about the incident until she brought it up (as had Flunky, although for him it was probably a result of trying to repress meeting my wacky family), so I was surprised when I saw that it had made it into the story.

"Moving On" started out as two connected stories, which were later edited and combined for my final portfolio for my Creative Writing class. Originally, my prof forced one addition on me. When she first read the stories, she thought that the characters sounded too "smart" to be regular college students. When I mentioned that I based it on my friends, and that we had met in the Honors residence hall, she made me add comments to that effect to the story, to make it more “believable.” Of course, when I submitted the story the next year to Papyrus, the undergraduate literary publication, the biggest complaint the prose selection committee seemed to have was that the Honors Hall comments made it sound pompous, and reduced the whole random aspect of roommate selection. I know of these complaints because I was on the prose selection committee, and was about to have an aneurism trying to figure out how to communicate that it wasn't my idea without blowing my impartiality and anonymity (submissions had no names on them). Probably would have kept my mouth shut, too, if the comment hadn't been made that that was the only thing keeping them from selecting it. I finally spoke up, using the oh-so-tricksy "I had a class with the guy who wrote this, the prof made him add it, I know he hates it and would be more than willing to take it out" ruse. Whether they fell for it, or realized "Oh, crap, it's his story" and decided to take pity on me, I neither know nor care, because it got selected and became my first published work. Yes, my first published work, a story I can't even look at 10 years later without cringing. *sigh* I’m almost scared to look at the story that was published in the next year's Papyrus now, although at least that one was accepted immediately with no reservations by the committee, much to my relief at the time.

My fiction writing output is really pretty skimpy. I wrote four or five fantasy/SF stories for my Creative Writing class (one of which, "Neat Freak," was the second Papyrus story) as well as a couple of additional semi-kinda-autobiographical stories, and a few woe-is-me poems which are only going to be published online over my bruised and battered body. I also have a ton of never-finished stories strewn about my notebooks and hard drive, mostly SF, but also a fictionalized account of my encounter with Amber "Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Benson. Oh, and I also wrote a couple of scenes for an amateur film the SXSF group was doing, but don't get your hopes up, there's a better chance of you seeing my poetry than of The Wiz allowing the general public to see the film. Interesting side note: after writing the scenes, I started thinking about writing some mini-scripts, and even considered adapting some of my pre-existing stories, with the forerunner being -- you guessed it - - "Moving On." That, of course, never happened.

The biggest problem I face with writing is that I almost always get all of these ideas when I'm nowhere near a computer or writing implement, and although I've composed these elaborate bits of story, exposition, and dialogue in my head, by the time I sit down to type them out all of the wonderful words have vanished, and I'm too frustrated trying to remember that one awesome turn of phrase I'd conjured ten minutes earlier to just plunge ahead and actually get something down on paper (or on disc, as the case may be).

Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate (I think I may have to refer to him by that full title from now on) recently sent me a link about National Novel Writing Month, which has me sort of intrigued. He's said that he's considering it, and if I actually knew someone else who was doing it might make me more inclined to try. The up-side: will be totally done with school by then. The down-side: it's in November, which, in addition to being Thanksgiving time, is also TV Sweeps month! How could I possibly concentrate on writing a novel during sweeps? It's madness, I tell you, madness! Plus, it might cut into my blogging time, and I would hate to deprive all of my faithful blog monkeys of my daily ramblings. Cruel and unusual punishment, that is.

What would my novel be about, you may wonder (if you've made it this far, of course, I do seem to ramble when I'm Thinking-out-loud, don't I?)? Well, here are some of the general never-finished story ideas that have been bouncing around my head for a while:

• The Psi Cycle: gotta come up with a better name for this one, but what do you expect, I've been kind of developing this one since I was in elementary school. 4 out of 5 of my SF stories for Creative Writing (including “Neat Freak”) were Psi-Cycle stories.
• Elemental Saga: fantasy story I came up with during college whose main characters are thinly-veiled interpretations of various Parkerites.
• Martyr: SF story where a rebel leader is presumed dead and becomes a symbol for the resistance, only to reappear years later, much to the chagrin of the new rebel leaders.
• Super-hero story: Come on, you know I had to have some sort of super-hero ideas percolating up here, didn't you?
• Continuing adventures of Josh and Bill: I've had various story ideas pop into my head about Josh, Bill, and their pals over the years, might actually put them all together.

As Papa Lightbulb likes to say, "Any questions? Comments? Cute remarks?" Any of these ideas sound intriguing/boring/innovative/old-hat/anything at all? Post a comment, and let me know. And I'm not just saying that because I really want people to post comments. Yes, that's the main reason, but not the only reason. I truly care about what you people think. No, really. Honest. I mean it. Kinda. Sorta. A little.

Boy, for a column that was just going to be about "Moving On"s inspirado, that went a bit off course, huh? If you have any more questions about the story, please, post a comment and ask it; I'll be glad to answer, especially if it means I get to make fun of the real-life Flunky. That never gets old.

One last thing: on the Seinfeld DVDs Jerry talks about how confined the episode titles to simple "the" statements (The Contest, The Scofflaw, The Yada Yada) so that the writers wouldn't spend more time trying to come up with clever titles. A wise man, that Jerry Seinfeld. Me, not so much. I generally spend half the time I'm typing up a post trying to figure out a relatively entertaining title to use. I try to wait for the muse to strike me, but sometimes you have to manufacture inspirado. So, if you recognize some obscure reference in my titles, please, post a comment to let me know that I'm not the only person obsessed with such minutiae.

(Can you guess the hidden theme of today's post? No? Here's a hint: if you think you might have an inkling, then POST A COMMENT! Got it now? I thought so. CoIM blog monkeys are the brightest blog monkeys around, I always say.)