Monday, December 11, 2006

The Following is a Broadcast of the "Cap'n Neurotic is Losing His Mind" Warning System

Over the past few weeks I've found myself slipping into a more neurotic frame of mind. I'm not at the "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, why don't I just eat worms" phase yet, but I am feeling more paranoid than usual, interpreting all sorts of random responses as indications that I've ticked off or alienated friends and co-workers. I've also found myself projecting my neurotic thoughts onto others, expecting them to react just as neurotically as I do; never a good sign.

Why the sudden increase in negativity? No clue; maybe it's the shifting in my living situation over the past several moths catching up with me; maybe it's the shifting in my work situation with its added pressures and responsibilities; maybe it's a lack of sleep and the toll that invariably takes on my mindset; maybe it's some biochemical cycle which is just rearing its ugly head again. This frame of mind is not helped by the fact that last week I got back a 360 Degree Review form at work which suggested that I need to take some sort of Emotional Intelligence Seminar; that'll do wonders for the old self-esteem, eh*? Especially since, as my neurotic upsurge shows, there's probably more than a little merit in the suggestion.

Luckily, by this point in my life I'm aware enough of my paranoiac/neurotic tendencies to be able to recognize the signs and cut them off before they totally run away with me, so the old-school spiral into depression probably isn't on the horizon.


At the same time, when you're caught in the throes of neurosis, you don't always catch yourself before you do something you regret. So, in an attempt to put the brakes to this before it really gets out of hand, I'm making a pre-emptive, "exorcism through blogging" strike: please, if you're interacting with me and notice me being overly defensive, withdrawn, sulky, whiney, etc., consider this a permission slip to slap me upside the head -- metaphorically speaking.

Although, if it gets bad enough, literal slapping might be required.

*Yes, the positive comments far outweighed the negative, but what fun would it be to focus on those?