B.B. Tried to Warn Us: a Tale of Li'l Random McEvil

Earlier this week Cap'n Bubbles made the mistake of mentioning one of her hobbies to some of the other Singles: she likes to take some of her favorite TV shows and movies and recast them using people she knows, matching up her perception of the characters' personalities with her perceptions of the personalities of her friends. Why was mentioning this hobby a mistake? Because then everyone clamored for her to let them see a copy of the cast lists. And, when she did bring them out to the co-ed softball playoffs last night, pretty much every single person who looked at them bemoaned at least one character choice* Li'l Random in particular seemed put out by being chosen as R2D2 in the Star Wars films, complaining about being picked as the goofy robot that couldn't even right itself if it got knocked down.

After the first softball game was over, a few of us headed out to the parking lot: Li'l Random was heading home, Cap'n Shack-Fu was heading to the gym, and Cap'n Bubbles and I were heading over to the nearby Sonic for some dinner before the next game started. As we were walking out, Li'l Random was still acting a bit sulky about the R2D2 thing, and Shack-Fu decided to try and point out some of the other casting choices that he thought Li'l Random might be more appreciative of, but every single one was met with a surly comment. Glancing through the list, Li'l Random picked one and said "Here, this one I like, because I'm not in it." Shack-Fu tried to mollify him by saying that Cap'n Bubbles had written the list back when she didn't know any of us that well, and would probably redo the lists now, to which Li'l Random gruffly said "Good idea; redo them, and make sure I'm nowhere in any of them." Shack-Fu said "Oh, c'mon, Li'l Random, it'll be okay" and started to draw him into a hug, only to have Li'l Random back off and wave the hug away; the shock on Shack's face was palpable.

Now, while I've enjoyed giving Li'l Random a hard time about being evil recently, the truth of the matter is that he is typically one of the most good-natured, easy-going people I know, always smiling, always trying to keep the peace, always willing to lend a helping hand. And although I had recently heard tales of his darker side, I found it hard to believe that Cap'n Bubbles' cast list could draw it out. And yet, there he was, stone-faced and off-putting like I'd never seen before. We three Cap'ns exchanged nervous, awkward glances, each wondering "is this for real?" Finally, Li'l Random said testily "You know what, fine, just leave 'em like that, I don't care, I gotta go," and headed off to the Night Roller.

He got about six steps before he burst into uncontrollable laughter, pumping his fists in the air and crowing about how he had gotten us all. I responded in the only logical fashion: rushing him, putting him in a headlock, and thumping him on the top of his evil little skull repeatedly.

Looks like the Random McEvil nickname is going to stay put for a while.



*Personally, my least favorite of my assigned roles was being pegged as Odo on DS9.