Saturday, December 10, 2005

Today: Survivor. Tomorrow: The World!

I come bearing a request from everyone's favorite future benevolent dictator, Flunky, who is stepping up his world domination plans now that the Spawn has reached the ripe age of 1, when the powers of cuteness are at their peak. His latest gambit: applying for the next season of Survivor, which would not only provide potential funding for his armies, but also allow the world to meet its future iron-fisted tyrant with a heart of gold.

What is Flunky's request? Our future lord and master is asking for suggestions from his future peons and sycophants regarding the content of his three minute audition video which is supposed to showcase why he should be considered the ultimate survivor, with a caveat of “be creative”; not that one of his vast cunning and intellect needs the help of lowly subjects such as ourselves, mind you; no, Flunky just likes us little people to feel like we have some sort of say-so, some sort of impact. Helps keep us from rising up in futile attempts at overthrowing him which would almost certainly lead to our doom, dontchaknow. See, what did I tell you: heart of gold.

So, if you have any suggestions or ideas, feel free to post them below, and I'm sure that all serious and helpful suggestions will be well rewarded in the days of the Flunky regime. And, if you have a suggestion which you feel is too spectacular to share with any random person who stumbles across the blog, feel free to email them to me, and I will pass them on to the despotic one; there's even a small chance I won't claim them as my own in order to curry favor with the puppet master.