Thursday, November 29, 2007

A Low-Key Singles Thanksgiving, or "Sadly, No Boot to the Head This Year"

The 2008 Foundations of Fellowship* Thanksgiving dinner was nowhere near as violent as last year's, unfortunately; well, I say unfortunately, but I'm sure Cap'n Shack-Fu is glad he didn't have to surrender his man card yet again.

The dinner was hosted yet again at Shack's Shack, which was nice, although problems arose when his oven and stovetop stopped working, forcing Cap'n Cluck to try preparing her turkey gravy in the microwave, with questionable results. One of the then-nickless Singles remarked that it need to coagulate, and then made some strange hand gestures and noises to demonstrate what she meant; the Shackmeister said "What was that again?" and proceeded to mockingly reproduce the strange gestures and sounds. This sound, in effect, became the HyperForce catchphrase of the night, pulled out anytime we wanted to get her goat. Later on, after a mental slip caused her to remark "I guess I really am a blonde, huh?" I proclaimed that as soon as I figured out how to phonetically represent the coagulating sound, she would be nicknamed Blondie Blaarrrgghhh. And so, it has come to pass.

At one point in the evening, Blondie decided that Cap'n Shack-Fu's truck needed a name, and proceeded to give him a couple of different options which he wasn't too fond of, due to their feminine qualities, but Blondie has been persistent in using her girly labels to inquire about the vehicle. What are the names, you ask? Well, there's a part of me that's really tempted to tell you, but, considering the threatening looks I was getting from Shack-Fu at lunch today when I was relating the names to Li'l Random, I think it's the same part of me that continues to instigate physical confrontations with PigPen despite the certain knowledge that I'm going to wind up bruised, battered, and possibly broken -- I like to call that part of me "Todd's Inner Death Wish**."

Probably my favorite moment of the evening came when Cap'n Peanut presented Cap'n Cluck with a special gift: a cupcake made especially for her. Well, to be more accurate, Cap'n Peanut made four cupcakes especially for the four Guilty Girls who had peppered his truck with rubber spiders the week before; each cupcake was in an individual tupperware container with its intended Guilty Girl recipient's name written on top. But, since Cap'n Cluck is the only Guilty Girl officially in our class***, she was the only one present to receive her cupcake. She asked him repeatedly what was wrong with it; he repeatedly assured her that there was nothing wrong with it at all, and acted offended that she could accuse him of such a thing. After dinner, Cluckity finally got the cupcake out of it container, scraped off all of the icing, spreading it out to make sure there was nothing lurking inside, and then eviscerated the cupcake itself, picking it apart until it was little more than a pile of crumbs, all while Cap'n Peanut exclaimed indignantly at the damage done to the baked goods he had made himself.

Good times, good times.

*Don't think I've mentioned before that that's the name our class come up with for ourselves
**This is the same part of me that, when Shack-Fu told Blondie he would only accept the girly name if it was a super-cool acronym, decided to chime in with an acronym that made the name even girlier, and almost led to me being the one getting the boot to the head this year.
***Mei-Mei and Angel (as well as the not-quite-as-Guilty-this-time-around Trouble) attend other classes in the Singles department, while Doc Jetson now attends Denton Bible on Sunday mornings, but when it comes to social events all are pretty much honorary members of Foundations of Fellowship