Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.4 - Tempting Fate, or "Good Clean Fun, No Harm Done!"

A few weeks back we had a birthday party for Squiggly and Darth Spike* organized by Blondie Blaarrrgghhh** and held at Cap'n Bubbles' place. There was a pretty big turnout, including 4 out of 5 Guilty Girls*** and the sole un-pranked HyperForcer, Cap'n Peanut. When the Guilty Girls left early, claiming that they were all tired, it should have been a warning sign that things were afoot. A little while after their departure, we were playing Mafia, a game which requires participants to close their eyes and remain still at certain parts; during the course of the game, Peanut started to get text messages from the Guilty Girls designed to gig him about his aversion to spiders, things like "Have you ever seen Arachnaphobia?" The texting was causing some consternation amongst the Mafia players, as the Guilty Girls seemed to have an uncanny knack for setting off Peanut's text ringtone every time it was eye-closing time. Soon, they actually called him on some pretense, but the paranoid Peanut was wary of their wily ways. I'm unsure of what their pretense was, as I only heard Peanut's side of the conversation: "Uh-huh. Sure. Is that true? Because if it is, I'll come and help, but if it's not . . . Yeah, that's what I thought." He soon had to vacate the living room due to frustrated Mafia players, and so headed outside to finish up his call. A few minutes later, he burst back in, exclaimed "Oh, it's on now!" and tossed several rubber spiders on the floor. Turns out the guilty girls had placed a dozen rubber spiders all over Peanut's truck: on the headlights, on the windshield wipers, on the step outside the driver's side door . . . they had even tried to stuff several under the gas tank cover, so that when he went to get gas they'd come popping out, but unfortunately for their sneaky plan one of the spiders wound up dangling outside and so the gas tank bunch were some of the first he found. A good portion of the rest of the party was spent with all of the various party guests voicing their suggestions for pranks that Peanut could pull in retribution.

That Sunday in class, Cap'n Peanut made a special prayer request for "the guilty girls, because they're going to need it," and thus was a nickname born. Thanks, Peanut!

When we went to the main church service, I wound up sitting next to Mei-Mei, while Angel sat on the pew behind us. They told me that they had been parked across the street watching while Cap'n Peanut discovered their handiwork, which is when Angel said in her sweet little innocent voice "Peanut screamed like a little girl." A short while later, as the deacon bearing the tray with The Lord's Supper approached our pews, I felt a tap on my shoulder as Angel leaned over and whispered "I have to confess: Peanut didn't really scream like a little girl, I made that up." Yes, she had to confess her mischievous fib before she could take part of The Lord's Supper; that's Angel in a nutshell.

After church, the whole Singles department went out for a farewell luncheon for the department's intern, and Cap'n Peanut and I wound up sitting right next to the Guilty Girls. He told Angel and Mei-Mei that he had been so traumatized by the event that he had to get rid of the truck, which is when I realized that he had finally traded in his gas guzzler for the sporty little Mazda RX8 he'd been eyeballing for the better part of a week. In retrospect, I now wish that Peanut hadn't found the gas tank spiders, because the idea of one of the dealership worker's getting a surprise when they went to fill it up: priceless.

Throughout the day, Peanut keep making comments about how the Guilty Girls should be watching their backs; Mei-Mei assured him that after growing up with her brothers and all the tortures they inflicted upon her nothing he did could faze her, while Angel just cheerily chirped the same mantra over and over: "Good clean fun, no harm done!"

And thus we draw the saga of the Guilty Girls to a close for now, as we all anxiously await the next volley in the prank wars: will Cap'n Peanut live up to his threats? Will the Guilty Girls devote their energies towards others now, or simply revisit their favorite targets? Inquiring minds want to know!



*Nickname comes from his Darth Vader costume at Halloween last year, and his spiky hairdo
**More on her nickname(s) tomorrow
***Trouble was MIA on this one