Friday, November 23, 2007

Rise of the Guilty Girls Pt.3 - You Know It's Your Baby!

A few weeks after Cap'n Shack-Fu's house was invaded by little plastic men, I get a call from Cap'n Cluck asking for some descriptive physical details to help the Guilty Girls narrow down their search for Li'l Random's house; I, not wanting Li'l Random d to feel left out of the joys of prankdom, did what I could -- hey, what else are best friends for? About an hour or so later, I got a call from the Random One himself which caused me to issue an exclamation of surprise, since best bud Li'l Random is as notorious about not returning phone callas as best bud Flunky is for not returning emails. My exclamation caught the attention of Squiggly's sis, who was over with PigPen; she signaled me that the Guilty Girls were in the process of trying to do something at his house. I then did what anyone would be expected to do in such a situation: I began to pump my good pal for information, and then parrot it back so that Squiggly's sis might text any pertinent information learned to the pranksters. "So, you're just now pulling into the house, huh? Oh, going out into the front yard to water the lawn, eh?" Don't think my oh-so-subtle ruse did anything other than make Li'l Random wonder what I had been smoking, but oh, well.

After we'd finished our conversation, Li'l Random settled in for the night, only to have his TV viewage interrupted by a ringing of the doorbell. He opened the door, glanced around, saw nothing, and went back inside. Soon the doorbell was ringing again, and this time when he opened up, he noticed what he had missed the first go-around: a basket filled with five baby-dolls along with a note explaining that they were his kids.

He was then assaulted by Guilty Girls bearing silly string.

A bit of background: ever since a game of Loaded Questions in which having to read the word "lovers" aloud made Li'l Random blush, the Guilty Girls have delighted in tormenting him with the word. Also, the Guilty Girls have a running joke wherein one of them will roll down their car window and yell out "You know it's your baby!" as they drive by random people. Hence, Li'l Random getting a batch of babies.

Each of the babies was labeled with their name: Lola, Rupert, Stella, Shanequa and Cletus*. According to the note, along with taking care of the babies for the weekend, he was also tasked with figuring out exactly which baby belonged to which baby's mama by Sunday morning.

The next day our class volunteered at a local children's home, and Li'l Random showed up sans children; he assured the indignant mothers that their children were safely being watched by a neighbor. He also left the kids in someone else's care when he came to Cluckity's cookout that evening, saying that he was scared the young ones might stumble into the fire. But the next morning he came into Sunday School with all five of his babies in hand, a sight that had to be interesting to all of the newer members and guests who had never had the privilege of seeing Li'l Random in action. Soon, the babies were reunited with their mamas, although Li'l Random would get some visitation time during our Halloween party.

At that point, only one HyperForce 3000 member had not been hit by the Guilty Girls: Cap'n Peanut. And at first it seemed like the Guilty Girls might leave him alone, since Peanut was determined to make sure they knew that his attitude towards pranks can be summed up in one word: escalation.

But the siren call of pranking would eventually overcame the fear of retribution . . .

*Poor Cletus had his name tattooed on his forehead, which should have been a sure sign that he came from a Troubled home . . .