Cast of Characters: Meet the Parkerites pt.2

Okay, here’s the remainder of the Parkerite cast for now. I will try to have the Book Monkey cast up by this weekend, if for no other reason than to appease Fellow Book Monkey and Blogger Bubblegum Tate, who met my announcement that I would do the Parkerites first with the following: “I knew you’d go chronologically! Curse your borderline-OCD!”


Sub-group 3: PFL: the Poker Football League members not included in the previous groups. On the whole, these are more acquaintances than full-fledged friends: know them, like them, but hardly have any contact with them outside of the large group outings. Subsequently, the following is based on a much more limited experiential range.

NICK: The Eskimo
OCCUPATION: engineer
ROLE: the social one
HOBBY: using the “confused” act as a smokescreen during games
FAMILY STATUS: Married to a 1st generation Parkerite. One kid
PARKERITE STATUS: Ancillary
PFL TEAM: Asian Persuasion
CHARACTER SKETCH: Driving force behind many of the group get-togethers (poker nights, football viewings, etc.).

NICK: The Squatch
OCCUPATION: teacher
ROLE: the funny one
HOBBY: finding excuses to wear lederhosen
FAMILY STATUS: Married. Two kids.
PARKERITE STATUS: Ancillary
PFL TEAM: Ft. Worth Squatch
CHARACTER SKETCH: Part of the Parkerites through The Eskimo. Hosts the annual “Squatchtoberfest” get-together.

NICK: GMC
OCCUPATION: veterinarian, part time teacher, part time improv comic
ROLE: the unlucky one
HOBBY: bemoaning his luck at poker, fantasy football, etc.
FAMILY STATUS: single
PARKERITE STATUS: 2nd generation
PFL TEAM: Black Plague
CHARACTER SKETCH: The "bemoaning his luck" is part of his sense of humor, sometimes misunderstood by others. Worships on the altar of Peyton Manning.

NICK: Special K
OCCUPATION: teacher
ROLE: token normal one
HOBBY: shaking his head at the rest of us
FAMILY STATUS: Married. Three kids.
PARKERITE STATUS: 1st generation
PFL TEAM: Lowest Common Denominators
CHARACTER SKETCH: Nice guy, not sure how he got stuck with this group. One of the few not to engage in the Great Parkerite Exodus, and consequently does not make it to most of the smaller gatherings.

Sub-group 4: All the rest:

NICK: Little-man Stud
OCCUPATION: grad student
ROLE: the questioner
HOBBY: following up questions with “No. Really? No. Seriously?” statements
FAMILY STATUS: Single.
PARKERITE STATUS: 2nd generation
PFL TEAM: N/A
CHARACTER SKETCH: In a constant state of epiphany. Once joined a road trip to see Jimmy Buffett in Dallas and didn’t ask till we were halfway there “So, he sings Brown-Eyed Girl, right?” Claims that one arm is longer than the other. Turns every phone conversation into a litany of “Have you talked to so-and-so? Have you talked to such-and-such?” ad infinitum.

NICK: The Old Man
OCCUPATION: engineer
ROLE: the “whatever happened to . . .?” one
HOBBY: disappearing
FAMILY STATUS: married . . . I think
PARKERITE STATUS: 2nd generation
PFL TEAM: N/A
CHARACTER SKETCH: Former roommate. Was in Coast Guard before going to school, so was older than the rest of us. After graduation, was never heard from again.

Sub-group 5: Yours Truly (Parkerite)
NICK: Electric Toad
OCCUPATION: future librarian
ROLE: the self-conscious one
HOBBY: turning self-doubt into a self-fulfilling prophecy
FAMILY STATUS: single
PARKERITE STATUS: 1st generation
PFL TEAM: formerly Dewey Decimators and Mystery Men; now serve as auctioneer for draft
CHARACTER SKETCH: Self-confident and outspoken around Clan Stoneheart and most Roomies; much less so in large PFL group, although has been improving, may eventually improve role to just being “the comic/film/tv geek.”