Monday, October 10, 2005

Movie Mon. - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugh, Why Did I Watch That?

Finally got around to watching some DVDs (not to mention a second viewing of Serenity, this time with Zinger and Pooh-bear); of course, this means I'm now behind on my TV viewing. It's a vicious cycle, my dear blog monkeys, a vicious cycle. Almost as vicious as the experience I felt watching some of these stinkers *shudder*

Now, come, share my pain!


The Man with the Screaming Brain: Low-budget B-grade film that is unapologetic about its nature; although it tries a bit too hard at times, it's overall an entertaining film for fans of the genre. Written by, directed by, and starring B-Movie star and cult icon Bruce Campbell as a stuck-up business man who first gets killed by a serial killer and then gets revived by a mad scientist. Features some funny performances by Stacy Keach and Ted "Joxer the Mighty" Raimi as the mad scientist and his bumbling, hip-hop obsessed assistant.

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story: Made-for-DVD Family Guy movie. If you're a fan of the show, you'll like it: if not, then you probably won't. Being a fan, I did. I was surprised at just how restrained it was; I had expected the freedom of no TV censors to bring out the edgiest side of the writers. Highlight of the film for me was the Ferris Bueler's Day Off homage.


Assisted Living: Low-budget film about a worker in an assisted living facility. Just could not get into this one.

The Amityville Horror: Man, and I thought the original version and book were bad! So very glad I resisted the urge to see this one in the theater. Compressing the storyline removed all tension from the film, so that the final confrontation feels rushed. And the final shot . . . what the heck was up with that final shot? Spooky little ghost girl geting dragged into the floor; was that supposed to be scary? Set up a sequel? Make sense, even? Or just be "cool"? My money's on the last one.


Satan's Little Helper: Low-budget horror film about stupid, stupid, stupid little boy who unwittingly helps out a serial killer. Just awful. The little kid was one of the more annoying characters I've seen recently, due to a combination of really horrible acting and an incredibly weak script. The movie also suffered from an inability to find a coherent tone. Biggest disappointment, though, was how criminally it wasted the talents of Amanda Plummer. Oh, Amanda, has your star really fallen so low that you're forced to partake in junk like this?

Larry the Cable Guy: Git-R-Done!: First, let me say that I have yet to see The Blue Collar Comedy Tour, so there might be some subtleties to Larry's act that escaped my newbie perceptions. After all, the entire audience roared with approval every time Larry uttered the titular phrase, so I'm sure there's some underlying grand comedic potential there, but for some reason the litany of "Git-r-done!" just left me cold. Nor did the voluminous praises heaped on Larry by the audience in the post-show testimonials make any sense to me: "Larry the Cable Guy is the funniest man I've ever seen! I laughed non-stop through the whole show! I want to have Larry's baby!" Were they watching the same, over-long, over-tired routine filled with heavily telegraphed jokes and unfunny "shocking" statements I was, or did they somehow get treated to an alternate universe Larry the Cable guy who was actually entertaining? To be fair, there were a few lines that made me laugh, but all in all, what a waste of time.