Friday, November 04, 2005

Yea, Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Center of Eeeeeeeeeeevil

First things first: I hope you’ve enjoyed the mega-sized posts of the last few days, because there will probably be a paucity of posting the rest of the weekend. And why is that? It’s because I’m about to go forth on a perilous journey, from which I may never return . . .

Today, I shall venture forth into the center of the Eeeeeeeeevil one's power, a town called Center, Texas. Coincidence? Or an arrogant challenge sent out by G'ovich to the forces of Good everywhere, taunting them to try to take him on where his Eeeeeeeeevil has grown most concentrated? It seems pretty obvious to me which it is.

I shall not be alone in my travels; I shall have Pooh and Coronela by my side, but I do not know if they shall be able to help me stave off the power of the Eeeeeeeeevil one, especially since recent events have shown that he has succeeded in spreading his Eeeeeeeeevil to others; I’m afraid no one is safe.

And how did I come to be making this journey into the very heart of all that is vile and corrupt? What sort of emergency or catastrophe would prompt me to place myself in such imminent danger? The answer, my worried blog monkeys, is simple: Clan G'ovich invited me.

"No, Cap'n, no!" you call out to me through monkey telepathy, "don't go, it's a trick, it's a trap!" Oh, I know, my loyal blog monkeys, believe me, I know.

So, why am I embarking on such a dangerous endeavor, knowing full well that I may not return with my sanity intact, let alone my life? Curiosity is part of it, I suppose; I have never been able to resist the urge to peel back the layers of G'ovich's machinations, and well he knows it. Also, Flunky has insinuated that this is all part of a plot to have me removed from the playing field in his world domination schemes, due to my discovery of the Spawn's special abilities; whether this is the truth, or a smokescreen to distract me from Flunky's true plans, I do not yet know, but must find out.

Plus, I get to see the Doc’s 8 year old son play football, couldn't pass that up.

Also in attendance this weekend will be Clan Eskimo, whose presence will answer two burning questions:

  1. Have they been reading the blog and following my "apparently everyone and their dog knew I didn't like him" posts?
  2. Will they remember to give me back my Firefly DVDs?
Three guesses which one concerns me more.

I make this post, my poor, frightened blog monkeys, in the hopes that if I should fail to post by Monday, or post something that feels strange, or off, or (heaven forefend) pro-G'ovich, you will give the proper notification to the authorities: the first, best line of defense against the incursion of Eeeeeeeeevil has fallen.